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Old 12-30-2012, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,236 posts, read 13,419,004 times
Reputation: 25834

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
What do women think of a guy who is 50, single, never married and no kids? I know a guy who is 50 and in this situation and he seems to be doing great. He started a company a few years ago and I did some consulting work for him- he is very successful and he looks a lot younger than most people his age.

According to him, because he was never married and never had kids, he was able to achieve all his material goals in life, he travelled the world, lives very comfortably, can pretty much afford anything he wants even though, he is very frugal and down to Earth.

I am sure he has no problems meeting high quality, younger women because he is successful, has a great personality and has a lot of life experiences. For a person in his situation, what would be the advantages of getting married?
I take it this is not someone you're dating, right? So you probably don't know his bad sides (and we all have them). Is he a workaholic addicted to his work? Were his travels for work or play? Or is he just selfish, Period?

I'm going to say that he probably just prioritized his life and chose to not juggle a family with the career and lifestyle he chose. Didn't want to tie himself down or have distractions from his professional life. He may have done himself, and a potential family, a favor, and I do not see anything particularly wrong with this. His priorities may start taking a different direction as he gets older ~ most of us don't stop "growing" with age.
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:14 AM
 
571 posts, read 935,054 times
Reputation: 1443
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
What do women think of a guy who is 50, single, never married and no kids? I know a guy who is 50 and in this situation and he seems to be doing great. He started a company a few years ago and I did some consulting work for him- he is very successful and he looks a lot younger than most people his age.

According to him, because he was never married and never had kids, he was able to achieve all his material goals in life, he travelled the world, lives very comfortably, can pretty much afford anything he wants even though, he is very frugal and down to Earth.

I am sure he has no problems meeting high quality, younger women because he is successful, has a great personality and has a lot of life experiences. For a person in his situation, what would be the advantages of getting married?
The issue I see with this post is that this man compares himself to those that are married - clearly, it's an issue for him. "He's very successful... according to him, because he was never married and never had kids..." There are plenty of successful people that take all types of paths.

It's weird that he thinks he's has advantages over people with families. He's just made different choices. Sounds like he's playing the comparison game and isn't really happy with his life.
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:30 AM
Status: "Having a big dog is like having a rug you can't step on." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Pennsylvania
15,432 posts, read 9,444,185 times
Reputation: 25581
I don't think anyone who plays the comparison game (love that term) can be happy.

If he's not happy with the life he's created, he's not successful. Financially there's probably no advantage to marriage so if money is his priority, he should stay single.

Sounds like you're having doubts about envying him?
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:46 AM
 
708 posts, read 719,713 times
Reputation: 509
I think he should do what works for him.

However, I don't see being single and childfree as a prerequisites for being able to travel or have a successful career. Clearly there are singles who have accomplished little and there are those who are married with kids who are very successful.

As for your assumption that he has no problem attracting quality younger women.....who knows? You don't define what you mean by younger. IMO, on this forum guys tend to overestimate the amount of much younger women that would desire to date a 50 year old.
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:53 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
71,799 posts, read 63,003,359 times
Reputation: 67208
Quote:
Originally Posted by Repubocrat View Post
For a person in his situation, what would be the advantages of getting married?
Love? Companionship? Deep human connection? Is your friend familiar with those concepts?
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:55 AM
 
15,732 posts, read 17,118,870 times
Reputation: 12727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelcake4 View Post
The issue I see with this post is that this man compares himself to those that are married - clearly, it's an issue for him. "He's very successful... according to him, because he was never married and never had kids..." There are plenty of successful people that take all types of paths.

It's weird that he thinks he's has advantages over people with families. He's just made different choices. Sounds like he's playing the comparison game and isn't really happy with his life.
I thought that was kind of odd too, but then maybe he can't focus on more than one thing at a time and he knew being married/having children would have been a detriment to his goals? I don't really understand why he'd compare himself to married folks otherwise.

Maybe he's trying to justify to himself that the decisions he made are the right ones for him.
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:17 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,371 posts, read 12,219,875 times
Reputation: 10272
Here in NYC we have plenty of successful never married 50 year old men. Those who decide they want to settle down find they can't get a much younger woman. I know they can't because they eventually come around to date women like me, early 40s and very fit. They say they are tired of younger chicks and their flighty attitudes, but I think they just can't land one.

Putting this out there for the younger guys who think they have forever to settle down and start a family. You don't, unless you are truly wealthy. This doesn't apply to the person described by the Op though, as the person described simply sounds like he isn't interested in commitment and children.
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:58 AM
 
9,325 posts, read 5,542,586 times
Reputation: 9299
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Love? Companionship? Deep human connection? Is your friend familiar with those concepts?
You can have that without being married. But it sounds like OP and the 50 year old bachelor guy aren't thinking in those terms anyway. People who measure success in $$$ don't so much value deep love and connection.
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:03 PM
 
9,415 posts, read 11,180,588 times
Reputation: 20183
One of my lovely friends is an almost 50 year old, never married, no kids. He's had a few long term relationships. He dates 24 year olds. He never wanted kids, was engaged once but he's simply never really cared about the whole settling down thing. Each to his own I guess. I really don't care how other people lead their love lives, whatever makes you happy.
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:32 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,298,412 times
Reputation: 8725
He has gotten so used to being on his own that he doesn't care. He probably does not want the financial responsibilities of a wife, not to mention the liabilities, and does not want kids at that age. He probably "tolerates" the women that hang on his arm, assuming they're not as worldly as he is and are more of the eye-candy variety. He may regret that later, but it sounds like being single and able to pursue his specific dream enabled him to have the life he has. Without knowing him personally, this is what it sounds like.
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