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I will be 30 in a few months. I have no desire to ever get married. This is something I have known for quite some time, but have been afraid to admit.
This has come up in conversations with family members lately. A handful of them have asked me when I plan on marrying since I'll be hitting 30 soon. When I tell them I do not want to marry, they seem aghast! They just can't fathom the idea that I prefer to remain single.
They keep telling me I'll regret it, or that I'm still young and have plenty of time to marry and have children. It just doesn't occur to them that I do not want that. I know myself - I am not marriage material. I want to travel the world, move around a bit, be responsible for only myself, etc. Maybe it makes me immature that I do not wish to settle down, but I can't help that. It's just how I feel.
I'm constantly bombarded with "You need to marry! You will regret not having children, it's the biggest accomplishment in life! Raising children is what life is all about!"
I tell them I don't need to do anything, that I am making the best decision for myself regarding my lifestyle choices. They don't seem to get it. It's so frustrating!
Thankfully, my parents are behind me 100%, so at least I have some sort of support system!
Has anyone ever made the decision to remain single and not regretted it?
Raising children is not what life is about; that's a very limited view of life.
Don't let your relatives' beliefs be a reflection on you. You won't be frustrated if you don't allow yourself to get emotionally sucked into those conversations. Just chalk them up to being old-fashioned, and go your merry way. It's great you have your parents' understanding and support. That's all you need. Do what's right for you. You never know; in 7 or 8 years, out of nowhere, you may meet an amazing woman who leaves you all goofy and wondering what hit you. You can decide whatever you want to decide if/when that happens. And it wouldn't necessarily have to involve kids.
Enjoy life. Drop us a card now and then, from your travels and adventures.
I would definitely regret marrying in this stage of my life. I am only 26 years old and to me that is too young to get married. Plus, I cannot afford it and I am also not ready for that lifestyle yet.
I will be 30 in a few months. I have no desire to ever get married. This is something I have known for quite some time, but have been afraid to admit.
This has come up in conversations with family members lately. A handful of them have asked me when I plan on marrying since I'll be hitting 30 soon. When I tell them I do not want to marry, they seem aghast! They just can't fathom the idea that I prefer to remain single.
They keep telling me I'll regret it, or that I'm still young and have plenty of time to marry and have children. It just doesn't occur to them that I do not want that. I know myself - I am not marriage material. I want to travel the world, move around a bit, be responsible for only myself, etc. Maybe it makes me immature that I do not wish to settle down, but I can't help that. It's just how I feel.
I'm constantly bombarded with "You need to marry! You will regret not having children, it's the biggest accomplishment in life! Raising children is what life is all about!"
I tell them I don't need to do anything, that I am making the best decision for myself regarding my lifestyle choices. They don't seem to get it. It's so frustrating!
Thankfully, my parents are behind me 100%, so at least I have some sort of support system!
Has anyone ever made the decision to remain single and not regretted it?
I do not have a large extended family by any measure and I only dealt with two relatives who pulled the "you'll regret it" line on me. One was my now deceased paternal grandmother. As she got up there in years she became more and more insistent that I would regret not getting married. The more she insisted the stronger I stood my ground. She died believing I was gay. She was part of the generation born prior to WWI so I imagine that troubled her deeply. Oh well. The other person is one of her sons and one of my father's younger brothers. I only live ~30 miles from him and his family but I only see him less than once a year on average. He will comment in passing about my continued singledom but nothing on par with my deceased grandmother's obsession.
I value my personal freedom above all else. I do believe the possibility exists that a marriage partner could come along that would not impose a huge hit on my personal freedom, therefore I am open to marriage with the right person but I don't expect it to happen and I am perfectly fine with that. No regrets here.
I'd be bummed if I never got married, but I don't think I'd regret it. It just would mean I didn't meet the right person. I would regret getting married just to get married and marrying the wrong person to do so.
I would not be bummed, I am honestly indifferent to marriage as a cultural institution. The rest of your statement is spot on. Someone getting married just to say they're married is pointless and indicates a follower of the herd mentality.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
Affluent lesbian couples buy Nobel Prize winner sperm and Olympic athlete sperm. They would also not let you have anything to do with the kid, as most people starting a family do not normally enjoy having a third-party chiming in.
Not necesarily. The affluent couple, Kasey and Cori, on The Real L Word, were looking for a known sperm donor. One guy changed his mind ao they were asking their straight male friends and everybody was turning them down. They ultumately had to go to a sperm bank, but it wasn't their first choice. They wanted to know the guy.
There are web sites that match up guys who are willing to know the couple and willing to be known by the kid with couples who desire that.
On YouTube, there are videos done by lesbian couples who used known sperm donors. I lamented in the comments that it would probably mean I could not have contact with the child but lesbians replied that many such couples want the sperm donor to remain in their life.
Another couple on the show, a comedian named Stamie and her wife, already had kids from a straight relationship of Stamie. Stamie said on the show that they were looking for a guy who wanted to be a positive male influence on their son.
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That being said, you're far too young to give up on a family of your own.
Well, my concern is the possibility of genetic defects in my offspring. The chances are greater after 40, which means I only have only a couple years left. Also, due to financial and logistical issues I cannot start raising kids right now. But like I said, I would be interested in being a known sperm donor.
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