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I will be 30 in a few months. I have no desire to ever get married. This is something I have known for quite some time, but have been afraid to admit.
I'm constantly bombarded with "You need to marry! You will regret not having children, it's the biggest accomplishment in life! Raising children is what life is all about!"
Thankfully, my parents are behind me 100%, so at least I have some sort of support system!
Has anyone ever made the decision to remain single and not regretted it?
First, I respect your having a spine.
Second, these people are full of it. I see a NJ location. Are they old-world Italian, Jewish, Cuban, or Portuguese? It takes 3 to 10 minutes to make a child so, no, it is NOT the biggest accomplishment in life.
Third, your parents are cool. On this dimension, so are mine.
Fourth, I don't know if I regret it or not. I would have liked the dual-income household with travel thrown in, but not if it was litigious or composed of an alpha-type male and female fighting over the pants. As for children, I do NOT regret not having any. I can interact with my friends' kids and hand them back to my friends when I get bored with them.
Second, these people are full of it. I see a NJ location. Are they old-world Italian, Jewish, Cuban, or Portuguese? It takes 3 to 10 minutes to make a child so, no, it is NOT the biggest accomplishment in life.
Third, your parents are cool. On this dimension, so are mine.
Fourth, I don't know if I regret it or not. I would have liked the dual-income household with travel thrown in, but not if it was litigious or composed of an alpha-type male and female fighting over the pants. As for children, I do NOT regret not having any. I can interact with my friends' kids and hand them back to my friends when I get bored with them.
Haha. Ditto. It seems like the parents are cool, but the extended family is not cool. Anyone who is NOT cool will get an earful and/or be cut off. That has worked well for me.
Haha. Ditto. It seems like the parents are cool, but the extended family is not cool. Anyone who is NOT cool will get an earful and/or be cut off. That has worked well for me.
I am blessed to have very loving, supportive parents. My mother and I are especially close. I feel very fortunate that we have such a tight bond.
I may have to start cutting some people off, unfortunately. I have no room for negativity in my life. I am very successful and have accomplished a lot.
I just can't stand it when people try to bring others down, especially when they feel they are doing it out of love or concern.
OP, 30 isn't some kind of expiration date. Do your relatives think that after 30, your life is over? Where are they from, the Mid-West or Bible Belt? (Just curious. I've never known people like this.) You should definitely enjoy travel and all life has to offer. You still have plenty of time for marriage, if, at some point, your thinking changes. And marriage doesn't mean children will follow, not at all.
Hopefully, these relatives are people you only have to deal with a couple of times a year, around the holidays and other extended-family occasions. Live your life the way you want. It's YOUR life, no one else's.
TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS or oh my god, you're a loser and a failure.
This is one main reason why people either end up in crappy marriages or cannot be happy if they're single as they feel somehow lesser or outcasted.
OP: you're an adult and a mature one at almost 30. Don't listen to them.
Funny thing: if you are a childless man, it is other men who have children who are MORE negative toward you than are women. Some men can be real snide about it, while women are typically "oh, you really should ..." or "oh, really, I would have thought ... "
no marriage vs marriage is a dead end argument that will get nowhere. it depends on the people and what they want from life as to how much "fulfillment" it adds to them as people.
its like arguing chocolate being better then vanilla.
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