When do you tell someone you are seeing that you have a medical condition? (dates, boyfriend)

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Roaddog

I would get it out right away, forget about wasting his time, don't waste your time, if that turns him away then good riddens.

yanno, from a man's perspective, I think he's got something here...yes, I think that is a good idea....

and well said.....

[christina0001]

I would mention it by date #2 or 3.

[millie61]

Originally Posted by Jadel812

I used to be ashamed and afraid of letting people know that I am a diabetic.. After realizing that the number of people with diabetes was much greater than I thought, it became easier for me to tell people that I am one. If a person can't accept you for who or what you are why bother?

If I had a serious condition such as AIDS or some other contagious illness, I would not get involved with anyone.

What a statement to make, life goes on I have a friend who is HIV+ (it isnt called AIDS these days) You say "contagious" have you ever thought of Herpes, hepititus to name just 2 ??? and how many people would tell you that they have those ??

[GoddessofRandomThoughts]

Originally Posted by Roaddog

I would get it out right away, forget about wasting his time, don't waste your time, if that turns him away then good riddens.

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

yanno, from a man's perspective, I think he's got something here...yes, I think that is a good idea....
and well said.....

Who's to say who is right but Roaddog is a guy.....so I guess he might have some insight into the male psyche as Creme said. Maybe we need more male input.

christina0001I would mention it by date #2 or 3.

Chritina's advice may be a good compromise.

[Jadel812]

Originally Posted by millie61

What a statement to make, life goes on I have a friend who is HIV+ (it isnt called AIDS these days) You say "contagious" have you ever thought of Herpes, hepititus to name just 2 ??? and how many people would tell you that they have those ??

That's why I wouldn't get involved with anyone if I had a disease that somone else can get from me. I don't think the word contagious is a bad word to use considering the definition of the word means "transmissible by direct or indirect contact"

[bluegrassgirl]

Mainstreet, What a difficult question for you to consider. I think I agree with the folks that think you wait until both of you have decided that it's a relationship that you're going to pursue. I wouldn't suggest waiting until you're coming out in a sexy negligee for the first time and springing it on him. However, if you begin to have serious discussions about taking a relationship down that path or just one of a deeper commitment... it's probably time to share... for both your sakes.

There are men out there that have the good common sense to see past the lack of perfection or challenges that most of us women have..... whatever that may be. May you be blessed with one of the finest!

[115db]

That should be something brought up right away. You never know where youre going to be, whats going to happen if you dont do this or that, and if your partner doesnt know, it could get bad.

[krichek]

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

yanno, from a man's perspective, I think he's got something here...yes, I think that is a good idea....

and well said.....

I'm a man, I'm also physically disabled and I would respectfully say No, that is not a good idea.

You tell someone something before they've had a chance to meet you etc. and they will almost always imagine something about 100x worse than reality.

Case in point, I am almost completely paralyzed in my right arm and have reflex sympathetic dystrophy(RSD). I am also divorced and a single father of 2 small girls. I've done the whole internet dating thing and I always tell a prospective date about my daughters before we ever go out. But, I almost never mention my disability until after our first date. Why? Because it isn't obvious, I'm not horribly disfigured or missing my arm. It just doesn't work pretty much.

It is a lot easier for someone to accept something after a good first impression versus going in with nothing more than an over active imagination and not really knowing what to expect.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by krichek

I'm a man, I'm also physically disabled and I would respectfully say No, that is not a good idea.

You tell someone something before they've had a chance to meet you etc. and they will almost always imagine something about 100x worse than reality.

Case in point, I am almost completely paralyzed in my right arm and have reflex sympathetic dystrophy(RSD). I am also divorced and a single father of 2 small girls. I've done the whole internet dating thing and I always tell a prospective date about my daughters before we ever go out. But, I almost never mention my disability until after our first date. Why? Because it isn't obvious, I'm not horribly disfigured or missing my arm. It just doesn't work pretty much.

It is a lot easier for someone to accept something after a good first impression versus going in with nothing more than an over active imagination and not really knowing what to expect.

well, you've made a good point...and for very good reasons, but, I personally and this is just me....as we all view things differently...I've thought about this last evening and slept on it...and have decided, if it were me (and MainStreet, this may not work for you) but I would want to weed it out right from the get go, cuz if they are not going to accept me from the very beginning, I want to know....and if they imagine something worse, then, that is their problem, cuz you see, I'm looking for someone special...who sees past all the outward stigmas....and looks deep into my soul...both bad and good parts of me.

I learned a lesson, a long time ago...and for me, it works best if I'm honest and forth right, right from the beginning.

But, I do see your point, and I'm not saying your wrong....not in the least.

Hugs
Creme

[MainStreet]

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

well, you've made a good point...and for very good reasons, but, I personally and this is just me....as we all view things differently...I've thought about this last evening and slept on it...and have decided, if it were me (and MainStreet, this may not work for you) but I would want to weed it out right from the get go, cuz if they are not going to accept me from the very beginning, I want to know....and if they imagine something worse, then, that is their problem, cuz you see, I'm looking for someone special...who sees past all the outward stigmas....and looks deep into my soul...both bad and good parts of me.

I learned a lesson, a long time ago...and for me, it works best if I'm honest and forth right, right from the beginning.

But, I do see your point, and I'm not saying your wrong....not in the least.

Hugs
Creme

I have to agree with you. I'd want to know their opinion right away. Dating for me is a HUGE pain..."You mean I have to get to know another man?" UGH....I know...bad attitude. My last date, over dinner he talked about his entire life and didn't EAT! Then there is me...listening...slowly eating an entire pizza! Oh to be young again, when no one had a history!