When do you tell someone you are seeing that you have a medical condition? (guys, single)

[GreenMachine]

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

Mainstreet
I looked for the video last night and Blockbuster didn't have it? Poo! I really thought I'd be enjoying Jane Erye last evening...I'll keep trying...thanks...
Creme

I watched Jane Erye last week. Very good! You'll enjoy it.

Greenie

[GreenMachine]

Originally Posted by MainStreet

Let your companion know...if they got that route, it's a tough surgery, but afterward....easy street baby! It's all about attitude. When I had Ulcerative colitis (I only lasted 2 yrs) I had to use the restroom every 20 mins and then had to take another 10 mins until I could walk again. 30 mins out of every hour for 2 years. I begged them to take it all. Best decision I ever made. I use the restroom 2-3 times a day now; swim, ski; tried my hand at water skiing...that was pretty funny. The only downside is I can't eat carrots, apples, wild blueberries, and only one cob of corn a day. (By the way, each one of those foods represents one visit to the ER with a bowel obstruction...ostomy nurses are so patient!!!)

Best wishes to your companion and thank you for your kind words.

I read through almost all of the "My Pink Button" blog, and the woman who wrote it talked about how thrilled she was to have her health back after she got the colostomy. She was able to live and enjoy live in a way that many of us take for granted. She also has a long-time boyfriend.

Greenie

[_redbird_]

He had the billroth II about 20 yrs ago and the recent radiation treatments has really exasperated the whole condition. I won't go into details, but I think you get my drift.
We initially turned down the colostomy, *I need to google that to get the correct spelling, and he became a case study during his cancer treatment. We opted for 6 weeks of aggressive radiation and chemo.

He paid a heavy price. Radiation and chemo take a very heavy toll on the human body. Now we are going in for a billroth1 this next friday. I think at this point a colostomy is not as bad as we had once thought. In fact, it would alleviate many of his problems.

Thanks for raising this issue. I have been dealing the whole colostomy issue in a very passive way. But your thread has made me confront it- which is way healthier.

Blessings to you.

May you find the man of your dreams!

Originally Posted by MainStreet

Let your companion know...if they got that route, it's a tough surgery, but afterward....easy street baby! It's all about attitude. When I had Ulcerative colitis (I only lasted 2 yrs) I had to use the restroom every 20 mins and then had to take another 10 mins until I could walk again. 30 mins out of every hour for 2 years. I begged them to take it all. Best decision I ever made. I use the restroom 2-3 times a day now; swim, ski; tried my hand at water skiing...that was pretty funny. The only downside is I can't eat carrots, apples, wild blueberries, and only one cob of corn a day. (By the way, each one of those foods represents one visit to the ER with a bowel obstruction...ostomy nurses are so patient!!!)

Best wishes to your companion and thank you for your kind words.

[MainStreet]

Originally Posted by redbird4848

He had the billroth II about 20 yrs ago and the recent radiation treatments has really exasperated the whole condition. I won't go into details, but I think you get my drift.
We initially turned down the colostomy, *I need to google that to get the correct spelling, and he became a case study during his cancer treatment. We opted for 6 weeks of aggressive radiation and chemo.

He paid a heavy price. Radiation and chemo take a very heavy toll on the human body. Now we are going in for a billroth1 this next friday. I think at this point a colostomy is not as bad as we had once thought. In fact, it would alleviate many of his problems.

Thanks for raising this issue. I have been dealing the whole colostomy issue in a very passive way. But your thread has made me confront it- which is way healthier.

Blessings to you.

May you find the man of your dreams!

Your spelling is perfect.

Yes, a colostomy isn't that big of a deal. I took predinose when I had UC and the side effects were terrible. As soon as that colon was removed....BOOM...no medications for the rest of my life. I haven't even seen a gastro doctor is over 6 years. It's like a perfect fix. I considered everything sitting in me to be toxic, literally burning through me and now whatever I eat is out in 90 mins. And I'll never get colon/rectal cancer.

My advise to your companion. If they decide to go this route...have them take it all, colon, rectum, anus (sorry, but this is serious stuff). I know some people who only had their colon taken and the remaining opening caused problems. They also offer a reversible inner pouch (I think it's called a J pouch.) I didn't want that either...I felt that any about of food that sat in me was toxic...I wanted it all out.

I'm glad I could give you my opinions on this. I live a very normal, active life and my original post had to do with those anticipated moments of intimacy. You sound like a loving and wonderful companion. Let me tell you that the colostomy actually gave me my life back. Before it, I couldn't even walk out on to a breakwall to a lighthouse without having to lay down and wonder if I should call an ambulance. Colostomy=freedom to me.

[GreenMachine]

Originally Posted by MainStreet

Your spelling is perfect.

Yes, a colostomy isn't that big of a deal. I took predinose when I had UC and the side effects were terrible. As soon as that colon was removed....BOOM...no medications for the rest of my life. I haven't even seen a gastro doctor is over 6 years. It's like a perfect fix. I considered everything sitting in me to be toxic, literally burning through me and now whatever I eat is out in 90 mins. And I'll never get colon/rectal cancer.

My advise to your companion. If they decide to go this route...have them take it all, colon, rectum, anus (sorry, but this is serious stuff). I know some people who only had their colon taken and the remaining opening caused problems. They also offer a reversible inner pouch (I think it's called a J pouch.) I didn't want that either...I felt that any about of food that sat in me was toxic...I wanted it all out.

I'm glad I could give you my opinions on this. I live a very normal, active life and my original post had to do with those anticipated moments of intimacy. You sound like a loving and wonderful companion. Let me tell you that the colostomy actually gave me my life back. Before it, I couldn't even walk out on to a breakwall to a lighthouse without having to lay down and wonder if I should call an ambulance. Colostomy=freedom to me.

Mainstreet,

Thanks for sharing all this. I've read up a lot on this subject since I found this thread. What is it that causes the ulcers? Is the food staying in the colon too long? Is there a possibility that you might get inflammation in other parts of your digestive system? The woman who writes the blog "My Pink Button" has Crohns disease and sometimes she still gets pains even though she's had her colon and rectum and anus removed.

Greenie

[kcm]

Seems to me if you would rather "get it out of the way" then that is what you should do ! I think I might feel the same way. But how you say it will make all the difference.
Something else to remember is:
If someone is setting you up with a date.... they should let the person know before you ever meet him. ( Which means, if he's out with you... he knows and doesn't care.)

If it is someone that you meet at a function... if the subject comes up talk about it and let him know that it doesn't bother you and that it makes life a lot better for you.... before he asks you out... If he asks you out... then he doesn't have a problem with it !

One thing that you need to remember is something that I told my husband one day... "You've grown bald and I've grown fat"...he still loves me and I still love him. Everyone has something wrong with them... if they think they don't, run away... If you can except what is wrong with me, I can except what is wrong with you and that will bond us together ! I would worry about meeting a "friendship" before a "relationship"...

[MainStreet]

Originally Posted by GreenMachine

Mainstreet,

Thanks for sharing all this. I've read up a lot on this subject since I found this thread. What is it that causes the ulcers? Is the food staying in the colon too long? Is there a possibility that you might get inflammation in other parts of your digestive system? The woman who writes the blog "My Pink Button" has Crohns disease and sometimes she still gets pains even though she's had her colon and rectum and anus removed.

Greenie

The is one of the bad things about Crohns (the sister disease to Ulcerative colitis.) Crohns is in the small intestine and UC is in the large. They can take out part of the small, but you still risk Crohns flaring up in what remains and often than not, it does. I was lucky I had UC (I know that sounds weird). Once the large intestine is out, it's all gone. I've never had any other symptoms.

I've always thought my UC was attributed to stress. I had just married a man whos parents were the worst alcoholics I've ever dealt with in my life. I was bleeding only 2 months after we married and I moved to another state to be with him.

[GreenMachine]

Originally Posted by MainStreet

The is one of the bad things about Crohns (the sister disease to Ulcerative colitis.) Crohns is in the small intestine and UC is in the large. They can take out part of the small, but you still risk Crohns flaring up in what remains and often than not, it does. I was lucky I had UC (I know that sounds weird). Once the large intestine is out, it's all gone. I've never had any other symptoms.

I've always thought my UC was attributed to stress. I had just married a man whos parents were the worst alcoholics I've ever dealt with in my life. I was bleeding only 2 months after we married and I moved to another state to be with him.

I'm glad you aren't having any more symptoms and you're okay. I'm sorry about the stress. I know how it can manifest itself physically and in other crazy way. What about the young woman (26 years) on My Pink Button? She had her colon, rectum, and anus removed. That's not her small instestines, it's her lowers stuff. If her Crohn's come back, it could kill her. ....

[GreenMachine]

Originally Posted by MainStreet

Your spelling is perfect.

Yes, a colostomy isn't that big of a deal. I took predinose when I had UC and the side effects were terrible. As soon as that colon was removed....BOOM...no medications for the rest of my life. I haven't even seen a gastro doctor is over 6 years. It's like a perfect fix. I considered everything sitting in me to be toxic, literally burning through me and now whatever I eat is out in 90 mins. And I'll never get colon/rectal cancer.

My advise to your companion. If they decide to go this route...have them take it all, colon, rectum, anus (sorry, but this is serious stuff). I know some people who only had their colon taken and the remaining opening caused problems. They also offer a reversible inner pouch (I think it's called a J pouch.) I didn't want that either...I felt that any about of food that sat in me was toxic...I wanted it all out.

I'm glad I could give you my opinions on this. I live a very normal, active life and my original post had to do with those anticipated moments of intimacy. You sound like a loving and wonderful companion. Let me tell you that the colostomy actually gave me my life back. Before it, I couldn't even walk out on to a breakwall to a lighthouse without having to lay down and wonder if I should call an ambulance. Colostomy=freedom to me.

Mainstreet,

I streamed a radio program interview of the woman who writes "My Pink Button." She is so intelligent and interesting. Have you read any more of her blog? Anyhow, she says she has never had a problem dating men and most of the men she meet do not have an issue with her colostomy bag. She says that if they did, she would not want to have anything to do with them anyhow. She also says that most of the people who know her, know about her medical condition. She doesn't hide it and is extremely confident. I like her attitude!

Greenie

[_redbird_]

Predinose is part of his daily pill "buffet."

Back to the OP. I think if you meet someone and they, like me, had no pre-existing knowledge of what a colostomy is, I would give them time to digest it.
I would hate to spring it on someone and then give them two milliseconds to deal with it and make a decision as to whether or not they want to continue seeing you or not.

Let them have time to digest the whole concept. That gives them time to go through all the emotions... like:

sorry, I don't have more emoticons to really make that work.