When do you tell someone you are seeing that you have a medical condition? (dating, boyfriends)

[MainStreet]

Since it's colostomy day.....I've thought of this topic.

When you are dating someone and things are getting pleasantly serious, when do you tell them you have, say, a colostomy?

Men? If you found out a woman you were seeing and liked very much, wore a colostomy bag....how would you react?

It was never a problem before...husband was ok with it, couple boyfriends ok with it....but I'm getting older....

I'm thinking I should tell them up front.

"While we are on the topic of how delicious this dinner is...I need to tell you that I have a bag."

[GoddessofRandomThoughts]

Mainstreet honesty is a wonderful thing but maybe you should wait until you are sure there will be a "relationship" before you tell them.

Yes, you need to tell them but not before there is a definite feeling that this has the potential to be something more than friendship.

If he is worth anything he will be able to handle it, if he can't handle it then he really wasn't worthy of you anyway.

Good luck and Much love,
the Goddess

[Miborn]

When you feel it might be more than a friend situation or date. The manner of how you tell someone will be different for every situation. Sorry not much help. If they care about you they will not mind.

[MainStreet]

Yes...great advise....but

I don't want to waste anyone's time if they are going to have a problem with it. I'd rather be alone then worry someone didn't like me because of my lovely bag.

Unless....I can sell it's attributes....don't get colds....lovely, youthful skin (I don't absorb as many toxins as those of you with all your parts, lol)

[miu]

If I had a medical condition, I would go slow with the dating. First I would see how well we got along, develop the friendship first and tell him before things got romantic. A friend will always be more understanding than a complete stranger to these situations. No one is perfect, but at least if he knows and likes your personality, then he will more accepting of the whole situation. But I would definitely say something if I saw the guy was getting too involved emotionally.

[cremebrulee]

I think waiting until you are sure you want to further a relationship with someone...and make certain, they are worthy of you....you can tell whoever you want, whenever you want....and if you don't want to right away, you don't have to...I would also get in touch with others who have had it, and ask them, for support and comfort. Whatever you do, do not go outside your comfort zone, until you are ready to....

and remember, self love is the greatest acheivement a person can experience in a lifetime...me, I love the challenge of self love, it can be so elusive....yet so revealing....be good to you, and be always the inner voice of cheer to yourself.

Oh and meeting you will not be a waste of time...if anyone thinks that way, they are ignorant....say it with me...IGNORANT!!!! Period. and hugs

Love
Creme

[famenity]

Originally Posted by MainStreet

Yes...great advise....but

Unless....I can sell it's attributes....don't get colds....lovely, youthful skin (I don't absorb as many toxins as those of you with all your parts, lol)

Am interested in your claim "don't get colds".

As far as telling, well if you are screwed up about it and keep it secret it will become huge in your mind, and while we are on the subject of 'minds' this is where most troubles lie, physical problems are easier to understand. Your personality will conquer all.

[songinthewind7]

I think in your mind, you'll know when the time is right.

[Jadel812]

I used to be ashamed and afraid of letting people know that I am a diabetic.. After realizing that the number of people with diabetes was much greater than I thought, it became easier for me to tell people that I am one. If a person can't accept you for who or what you are why bother?

If I had a serious condition such as AIDS or some other contagious illness, I would not get involved with anyone.

[Roaddog]

I would get it out right away, forget about wasting his time, don't waste your time, if that turns him away then good riddens.