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Being married provides some justification for cheating and getting away with it? That makes no sense.
I wonder if its like this. Ok there is nooo way that the person would leave their spouse. But they enjoy sex and are attracted to the person also married, also doesn't want to leave their spouse. Since the rules are laid out there and they have their lives set anyway then why not continue the sex? They both get what they want, the sex, anyway and no one else is getting hurt. I wonder if that's the justification?
Sorry for the confusion. That's not it either. Its not an open relationship truly because the spouse doesn't know about it. We're talking about people who are both married but not to each other having sex with each other and not wanting to end their marriages. Their spouses have no idea. Hell they probably are all friends, likely are and their spouse doesn't even suspect that anything is going on. This has to go on right?
No, that is cheating. I think it's fine if the spouses know about it and consent.
And they don't love their kids, spouse and life that much if they are participating in something like this, no matter how much they try to convince their delusional selves.
You don't know what someone elses loves or not, no matter how hard you want everyone else to conform top your ideals.
Not talking about swinging. I'm talking about people who are married and their marriages may either lack sexual pizazz or not even that, maybe lacking emotional needs but they love their spouse, kids, lives. And they sincerly don't want to leave those lives. But they like having sex too and they have sex with someone that they know that's also married and maybe having the same experiences at home too. They love the sex with each other, no one knows about it and both are able to function like normal, like nothing wrong is going on and they're friends on top of this with no interest at all in leaving their marriages. They love their spouses and also don't want the other to leave their spouse for them either.
I think this may be a dirty little secret about married life and have encountered this with people I know. But I may just know a bunch of freaks. But does this happen in your life or someone you know?
I don't think what you are talking about is common here in North America, not by a long shot. That does not even happen in places where extramarital affairs are less taboo such as in Europe. What is more likely to happen is that the husband or the wife has a fling here and there with a person that is outside their social circle. So yeah, you're probably hanging out with a special group of people or else it is sheer fantasy and big talk on their part.
Some love; if they are going about sneaking then they are selfish and only thinking of pleasing a carnal desire while living the happy go lucky life style. They are living two different lives and it's not fair to their spouses who they are cheating on. Nor their children if their transgression comes to light; they are not thinking of future consequences IF they get caught in some way and how it will tear their family apart and embarass their spouse. If they want to remain a kid then they need to dissovle their marriage, or sit down and talk to their spouse about making their relationship open and see if they are ok with it, but to try to sneak around and do dirt while going back and playing house with wife or husband, is not cool.
I don't think what you are talking about is common here in North America, not by a long shot. That does not even happen in places where extramarital affairs are less taboo such as in Europe. What is more likely to happen is that the husband or the wife has a fling here and there with a person that is outside their social circle. So yeah, you're probably hanging out with a special group of people or else it is sheer fantasy and big talk on their part.
You know I'd think that too, that the fling would be outside of the social circle either with someone at work or school, etc. I certainly see what you're saying. But consider this. Let's say a successful business owner who is married, loving family but is messing around with one of his wife's friends who is also in a good marriage, family is
not as successful. But they care for each other a lot and care about their families to just keep it for what it is and nothing more. I know of people like that. And maybe they can't or don't want to leave their marriages for financial reasons too especially that business owner. Since they know each other and probably wouldn't be suspected that they would be having an affair why would they stop it? Sure stop it because its cheating, cheating's wrong we know that, they do too. But they do it. And I can see that situation or something like that happening more than one would think.
If they're not doing anything wrong then surely both parties can discuss the situation with their respective spouses and do it without the secrecy. If not, it's just cheating, same as any other cheating. People that cheat always have rationalizations and some are better than others, but at the end of the day the act always involves the cheaters callously holding themselves to a different set of standards than they hold those that they purport to love.
You don't know what someone elses loves or not, no matter how hard you want everyone else to conform top your ideals.
I didn't say they didn't love them.
They love these folks and their life so much they can't bear to leave them...but not enough that they don't consider how much their actions will hurt them and how it may impact their life.
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