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I can seriously say that I have NEVER fantasized of another man when I am in a loving, committed relationship.
Fascinating. I won't deny that this exists for some people, but I think most people, including your fellow women, would agree that this isn't the norm.
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Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
I know men who do not fantasize about other women in the bedroom when they masturbate,
You know men who say that. This is an important distinction.
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Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
I also know men who grow out of the stage of watching porn.
This is true, and some are never into it in the first place. Porn is a thing some people like and some people don't. This is different than fantasy, which is a pretty universal human experience.
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Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
A mature man who is in a happy, committed, long term relationship DOES NOT fantasize of other women when they masturbate or have sex with his partner.
That is an absolutely, horrendously false generalization. People fantasize. Relationships, even good ones, don't prevent that. Sorry to be the bearer of that news, if you're bothered by it.
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Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
Not all men have "wondering eyes" either.
If you mean that in the literal sense, yes, most people are taught that it's not polite to stare, and we learn to keep our eyes to ourselves, so to speak. If you're saying people (male or female) cease being attracted to others when they're in a relationship, however, that too is completely false. It's human nature to continue to be attracted to other people when you're in a relationship. You don't stop being human just because you make a commitment to someone. The key, obviously, is not acting on that attraction. That's the whole point of commitment. If people ceased having other attractions once they were partnered, there wouldn't have to be commitment. Commitment is a choice, not something that comes automatically or naturally to most. That's what makes it a special thing.
Fascinating. I won't deny that this exists for some people, but I think most people, including your fellow women, would agree that this isn't the norm.
You know men who say that. This is an important distinction.
This is true, and some are never into it in the first place. Porn is a thing some people like and some people don't. This is different than fantasy, which is a pretty universal human experience.
That is an absolutely, horrendously false generalization. People fantasize. Relationships, even good ones, don't prevent that. Sorry to be the bearer of that news, if you're bothered by it.
If you mean that in the literal sense, yes, most people are taught that it's not polite to stare, and we learn to keep our eyes to ourselves, so to speak. If you're saying people (male or female) cease being attracted to others when they're in a relationship, however, that too is completely false. It's human nature to continue to be attracted to other people when you're in a relationship. You don'being human just because you make a commitment to someone. The key, obviously, is not acting on that attraction. That's the whole point of commitment. If people ceased having other attractions once they were partnered, there wouldn't have to be commitment. Commitment is a choice, not something that comes automatically or naturally to most. That's what makes it a special thing.
I don't condemn men who fantasize about other women, but I know from past experiences that some men do not fantasize or having wondering eyes when they are in a loving, committed relationship due to cultural, educational, religious influences.
You cannot generalize either. Quite frankly, a lot of women I know and I know for a fact do not fantasize. I also know there are a lot of men who do not fantasize when they are in a committed serious relationship. I don't know and I am not sure if they are in the minority or majority, but I know they are out there. Not every man shares the exact same genetic makeup.
I don't condemn men who fantasize about other women, but I know from past experiences that some men do not fantasize or having wondering eyes when they are in a loving, committed relationship due to cultural, educational, religious influences.
You cannot generalize either. Quite frankly, a lot of women I know and I know for a fact do not fantasize. I also know there are a lot of men who do not fantasize when they are in a committed serious relationship. I don't know and I am not sure if they are in the minority or majority, but I know they are out there. Not every man shares the exact same genetic makeup.
Oh what a load of crap. How do you know for sure what people think about when they're pleasuring themselves? I am very close to my sisters and I would never ask them about their sex life. It's just not something most people ask. So I call your "oh I know for a fact" nonsense.
What gives you the right to dictate what happens in your SOs mind during intimate acts? And guess what, they're probably lying to you if they say they never fantasise about another woman, or multiple women, or men, or donkeys.
People need to butt out of other people bedrooms and allow humans to be the complicated sexual animals we are.
No, I said, when I am in a loving, committed relationship, I do not fantasize.
when I am in an unhappy relationship, I do.
and what is wrong with that?
I'm curious, what's the longest you've gone without fantasizing about anyone else while in a relationship?
Of course there's nothing wrong with that. It's just that it's not the norm, and there's also nothing wrong with the majority of people who do fantasize. The problem is that you seem to think everyone should be like you, and that if they're not like you it means something is wrong with them or their relationship.
And yes, it is certainly concerning that you think you're not supposed to fantasize in a relationship, yet you want to cheat to get caught. Fantasies tend to be healthy, and cheating tends not to be.
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