How frequently do romantic "exceptions to the rule" occur? (date, sociopath)

[BobPollard]

Will it really make you feel better if someone on the internet tells you that 2.3 times per week, a "gentle", "affectionate" woman wants to be a "beloved wife"?

[Phoenix2017]

Originally Posted by BobPollard

Will it really make you feel better if someone on the internet tells you that 2.3 times per week, a "gentle", "affectionate" woman wants to be a "beloved wife"?

Did I say something to offend you?? Why are you putting words in my mouth here, and insinuating and implying that I said something that I did not?

The truth is, I am interested in trying to examine how likely or probable it is for one "exception" to be able to find another exception...it has nothing whatsoever to do about me personally...not sure why you are suggesting that? I would bet that there are plenty of people out there, who disagree with and even reject many of the arbitrary rules that people come up with to try to define dating norms and practices for others, and try to unwillingly force them to accept them as "gospel", whether they agree with them or not. I meant exactly what I said; I wanted to find out how common people thought the exceptions to mainstream romantic rules and standards were statistically...

[needanamethatisnttaken]

Infrequently enough that the rules aren't in question when speaking generally.

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by Knight2009

How frequently do romantic "exceptions to the rule" occur? Would you put a numeric estimate on the frequency with which they statistically appear in society (i.e., 1-2%, etc.)?

Some examples of what I mean by "exceptions":

1. A stereotypical but also genuinely nice guy who attracts, rather than repels women
2. A woman who is extremely attractive physically, but is also not automatically attracted to stereotypical qualities like power, status, confidence, etc. in men
3. A man who will readily date women regardless of their physical looks, and dates solely based on personality alone
4. A woman who believes that chemistry can still be acquired over time even if it is not initially present, or that a lack of initial chemistry can be successfully overcome by other external factors
...etc.

Also, do you believe that the frequency with which exceptions to the rule occur is primarily based on nature or nurture? What (if anything) do you believe could make exceptions more likely to occur?

I don't believe these are actual examples of exceptions to rules, - for instance I do not think any man would set out to never date attractive women, but the exception can occur if he happens to meet someone he feels a connection with, who happens to not be as attractive as he would normally date.

As for the "stereotypical" nice guy, you'd have to clarify, as stereotypical nice guys aren't actually nice, but passive, passive-aggressive, indirect and act through fear (usually by performing what SEEM like nice acts). This guy will never be attractive to women. If you mean the geeky guys like Leonard in Big Bang, I do believe there are women who would be attracted to him. He is nice as in kind, but also smart, funny, accomplished, and did get the guts to ask Penney out, finally, lol. You gotta have something going for you, ya know?

I think all women are attracted to confidence, power, etc, as are most MEN - athletes are also popular with guys and have lots of friends, as these qualities are universally appealing. BUT I do think a woman could be attracted to a man she met who wasn't these things, if he were funny, smart, or just had a really great connection (like a conversation that starts at "what book are you reading?" and ends 12 hours later, although it feels like 12 minutes)

Same with a woman who believes chemistry can develop...I believe all women hope this can happen if it's a guy she connects with otherwise. Hoping it can and believing it can are not enough to make it happen though, it's not really a choice after all.

There are always exceptions to rules. But rather than wait for one, to me it's better to improve on those areas that might need work, like confidence, conversational skills, all around creating an interesting life for yourself, etc.

[MIKEETC]

Originally Posted by Knight2009

How frequently do romantic "exceptions to the rule" occur? Would you put a numeric estimate on the frequency with which they statistically appear in society (i.e., 1-2%, etc.)?

Some examples of what I mean by "exceptions":

1. A stereotypical but also genuinely nice guy who attracts, rather than repels women
2. A woman who is extremely attractive physically, but is also not automatically attracted to stereotypical qualities like power, status, confidence, etc. in men
3. A man who will readily date women regardless of their physical looks, and dates solely based on personality alone
4. A woman who believes that chemistry can still be acquired over time even if it is not initially present, or that a lack of initial chemistry can be successfully overcome by other external factors
...etc.

Also, do you believe that the frequency with which exceptions to the rule occur is primarily based on nature or nurture? What (if anything) do you believe could make exceptions more likely to occur?

This frequently:

FREQUENCY = [((0.8A x 05B x 0.4P + $M/12 - $H/12) / (T x L x S))^(F + S) x U] x (warp factor) - 1


Where:

A = appearance (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being whateve sets me off)

I = intelligence (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being Einstein)

P = personality (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being great)

T = time we've been in the relationship (in days)

$M = my income

$H = her income

L = love level (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being magical)

S = number of times we could have sex per week

F = how many times we could go out

U = what we want out of this relationship (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being marriage, kids, death do us part)

warp factor = self-explanatory



[as you can see, it's complicated]

[cyphorx]

Originally Posted by the minx

Does it matter how frequently? Just know that it happens.

Because if it happens 1% of the time the odd's of being that exception is 1% and you might as well give it up because it may never happen or when it does you will be too old to enjoy it. if it's closer to say 30% there may be hope though it may take awhile.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by StarPaladin

How frequently do romantic "exceptions to the rule" occur? Would you put a numeric estimate on the frequency with which they statistically appear in society (i.e., 1-2%, etc.)?

Some examples of what I mean by "exceptions":

1. A stereotypical but also genuinely nice guy who attracts, rather than repels women
2. A woman who is extremely attractive physically, but is also not automatically attracted to stereotypical qualities like power, status, confidence, etc. in men
3. A man who will readily date women regardless of their physical looks, and dates solely based on personality alone
4. A woman who believes that chemistry can still be acquired over time even if it is not initially present, or that a lack of initial chemistry can be successfully overcome by other external factors
...etc.

Also, do you believe that the frequency with which exceptions to the rule occur is primarily based on nature or nurture? What (if anything) do you believe could make exceptions more likely to occur?

If these are the exceptions, you must have some pretty strange rules! Women LOVE genuinely nice guys! They seek them out!

Why would extremely attractive women be attracted to power and status? The very attractive women I've spoken to say they were desperate to meet some nice, thoughtful, humble regular Joes, but only the arrogant status-conscious men hit on them. Or sleazy guys. A couple of these women deliberately gained weight, to make themselves approachable to the average guys, and it worked! They've been happily married for years, to their average Joe guys, who, needless to say, are thrilled!

Most women believe chemistry can build over time.

OP, what kind of blogs have you been reading, lol? Your world is upside down. The things you call "exceptions" are normal life.

[cyphorx]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

If these are the exceptions, you must have some pretty strange rules! Women LOVE genuinely nice guys! They seek them out!

Why would extremely attractive women be attracted to power and status? The very attractive women I've spoken to say they were desperate to meet some nice, thoughtful, humble regular Joes, but only the arrogant status-conscious men hit on them. Or sleazy guys. A couple of these women deliberately gained weight, to make themselves approachable to the average guys, and it worked! They've been happily married for years, to their average Joe guys, who, needless to say, are thrilled!

Most women believe chemistry can build over time.

OP, what kind of blogs have you been reading, lol? Your world is upside down. The things you call "exceptions" are normal life.

I would love to live where you live because the most attractive women around her do go after the more successful guys. Though I will admit Texas is the most materialistic places I have lived, I saw matirialism in other places also but not to the extreme I've seen it here, and whats sad is this used to be one of the more down to earth places 20+ years ago, but in the late 90's early 2000's the wealthy began increasing in number as did the poor and the wealthy here because flashier(they used to keep to themselves.) and marrying down lost it's stigma, which would be a good thing except it was only the men doing it.

[RamenAddict]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

If these are the exceptions, you must have some pretty strange rules! Women LOVE genuinely nice guys! They seek them out!

Why would extremely attractive women be attracted to power and status? The very attractive women I've spoken to say they were desperate to meet some nice, thoughtful, humble regular Joes, but only the arrogant status-conscious men hit on them. Or sleazy guys. A couple of these women deliberately gained weight, to make themselves approachable to the average guys, and it worked! They've been happily married for years, to their average Joe guys, who, needless to say, are thrilled!

Most women believe chemistry can build over time.

OP, what kind of blogs have you been reading, lol? Your world is upside down. The things you call "exceptions" are normal life.

THIS. The issue is that many of the men on this board are not genuinely nice, they just *think* they are nice. Or they will use terms like “materialism” to mean totally different things than what they really mean. I have had more than one guy friend complain that his wife/SO is materialistic when she is really not. For example, one had started a professional career and needed a professional wardrobe after losing significant weight. He went on and on about all the money she spent on that (at standard, mall stores for that sort of thing). Of course she needs a professional wardrobe for her job! Another refuses to marry until he is sure his SO won’t make binge purchases, even though they’ve been living together for years and I’m not aware she has any massive debt while he has huge student loan debt, child support, etc. Oh, but they say “I’m such a nice guy...” Really? This is a nice guy? These are just two of the examples of the Nice Guy Syndrome.

[The Dissenter]

The exceptions are for movies and accounting reports, not dating. 99% of dating sticks to rules and leagues.