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Since I hardly ever approach men (I know, I should take the chance... ) I haven't had too many nasty rejections. One date I had, went out for drinks, and he made it very clear that he was just after one thing. I wasn't after that at that point so it ended early and I didnt hear from him again. Whatever. I have also been asked for my number and not gotten a call. No harm done there really either.
That being said, I would NEVER say anything hurtful to a man who asked me out. I would politely decline if I wasn't interested, but I think being rude and saying something rude is awful. There are ways to decline and respond without being mean, period. If a man asks me to dance, even if he would not normally be someone that I am interested in, I would still dance with him. Jeez, it's a dance, not a marriage proposal.
Most regular people have had a handful of bad rejections that we remember and a heck of a lot more brush-offs that were just par for the course. When you say that every time you've approached a woman that you've been turned down, and not just turned down but rejected cruelly and harshly, it makes me (and not just me, either) wonder who, exactly you're talking to and what exactly you're saying, because it's not even a little bit normal. You're either exceedingly thin-skinned or you have a radar for the worst kind of women imaginable. Since you've been cagey about what your approach is and what you say to these women, we can't really pat you on the head and say that they're being mean to you for no good reason. They may have a really good reason.
The thing about approaching strangers is, you want to be sure they are receptive to you coming up to them. It's important to make eye contact consistently and see if the person holds your gaze, smiles or otherwise shows signs of interest. It's intrusive to go right up to someone when they haven't sent you any signal that they want you to approach. It makes women defensive and annoyed. Now, I try to be very polite to anyone that approaches me and tries to talk, but I am secretly quite aggravated. You have to feel someone out first before just swooping in on them.
I have had a few memorable rejections. But nothing as extreme as the OP.
One I will always remember:
me: "Hi..."
Her interrupts: "Don't even talk to me!"
hahha.
different situation just about a month ago. A friend (guy) of mine met up with someone at a bar. Her and 2 or three friends were with her. We are all standing around and my friend introduces himself to her friends. When he is done, I try to do the same, and I get totally ignored. Left me hanging and everything. haha. ugh.
20-30 minutes later, the friends of the woman come back to check on their friend. The one that extremely blatantly ignored my initial introduction has the nerve to say Hi. You bet her sweet butt I left her hanging. And she had the nerve to make a scene of me leaving her hanging, even though she did the exact thing to me just 20-40 minutes prior. 'the nerve!'
haha. Amazing how some people are so much more special than other people.
As for the extreme situation in the OP, there are threads on this forum that basically state that some women are insulted when a guy who is in the minor leagues approaches the major league woman. "How dare that guy think he has a chance with me! "
Orphaned. Here's the thing - if we stick up for other women, then we hate men and never think women can be wrong. When we get mad at other women - then suddenly all women are catty and jealous and we can't even get along with each other.
You continually post about how all women are mean to you - but you never give examples of how. I've asked you about a dozen times or so what exactly you have said to these women and what they have said back to you and you have never answered. So what exactly are we to base thinking all these women are b*tches upon? Your word that all women are mean to you?
Women can be cruel to men. I don't hang out with women like that. I don't hang out with people that are cruel to other people for any reason - except for maybe self-defense. I've never had a friend of mine belittle a guy or treat him horribly just for being attracted to her. And I've never had a guy treat me badly for coming on to him.
There are mean people out there - but for us to believe that every single woman you have approached is a total b*tch and that you are totally blameless with out providing a single detail is a bit farfetched - don't you think?
As a female, I can assure you that not one of my female friends would act like that, and if one did I would never go anywhere in public in her company, ever again.
I could see a drunk chick acting that way. Drunk people do crazy things. I don't drink or like to hang with drunk people.
I could see a b*tchy low class trashy kind of woman acting like that.
I could see a woman who is in a horrible mood for some reason going off on someone like that. In that case, she needs to learn a little self control. If I saw a friend do that I'd make her leave and go home, and we'd have a talk. I confess there are times I can be a moody wench...I try and warn my husband before things get nasty.
But more than anything, I reiterate that men and women can be equally awful to one another if perhaps in different ways. For every instance of a man being rudely rejected as you have been, there is at least one instance of a guy telling a young girl whatever BS she wants to hear just to get some action, then kicking her to the curb and breaking her heart. And SHE is the sucker, while he comes off smelling like roses for being a quality "player." You get bitter because you get rejected rudely? So do plenty of chicks, and for other reasons too.
I also strongly believe that people are nicer in different geographical regions of the US, than others. In my old home of Northern VA, it usually didn't work so well to approach and talk to strangers. You had to have a reason to talk to them, be introduced, or know each other from somewhere. Further west, people are more generally friendly even if it's often superficial BS friendliness.
I think my worst one to date was a guy I approached at a pub... we chatted, I offered to buy him a beer and he said thanks. Once he had his beer he high-tailed it back to his friends, pointed at me and the entire table erupted in laughter. One guy barked at me while pointing. The guy I bought the drink for tipped his drink and me, laughed and turned his back on me.
Since then, all the rejections I've had have seemed super tame and haven't bothered me as much.
I think my worst one to date was a guy I approached at a pub... we chatted, I offered to buy him a beer and he said thanks. Once he had his beer he high-tailed it back to his friends, pointed at me and the entire table erupted in laughter. One guy barked at me while pointing. The guy I bought the drink for tipped his drink and me, laughed and turned his back on me.
Since then, all the rejections I've had have seemed super tame and haven't bothered me as much.
I was at a pub last month with some girlfriends to partake in karaoke. I saw a cute guy alone at a table so I decided to go over and talk to him (I wasn't trying to 'pick up on him'...but I WAS interested in him enough to talk to him and possibly get to know him). Then, the following happened:
Me: "Hello...I noticed you from across the way and I wanted to come introduce myself...my name is..."
Guy: "I'm sorry...but I'm just here to hang out with my friends tonight...I"m not interested!"
He said this in a very rude manner. The worst thing is that, after he said that, he kinda shooed me away with his hand. I was so embarrassed that I high-tailed it back to my friends, with my head hanging slightly. That was probably the worst rejection I"ve ever had...at least the most embarrassing.
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