when future inlaws tried to set my boyfriend up with somebody else (dating, long-term)
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My future inlaws don't like me (Long story) and now they tried to set boyfriend up with somebody else.
I feel I have wasted 2 years of my life, I am not ready to give up on my relationship, but with relationship dynamic like this, I don't believe I can give up on my integrity.
What am I suppose to do at this point?
My boyfriend says that I am the love of his life, and He will never give meup for anybody.
He is 38 I am 29 Help.
p.s. I guess I don't have confidence for the future of our relationship because I want to be realistic about things..
You should quit thinking that you've wasted 2 years of your life, unless those two years were all about getting his parents to love and accept you...You have him...HE loves you...He can't help it if his parents feel differently, anymore than you could if it were your parents.
My future inlaws don't like me (Long story) and now they tried to set boyfriend up with somebody else.
I seldom find reasonable older people dislike you for no reason. I'd be interested to know why they don't like you enough that they are trying to set their son up with another woman.
I seldom find reasonable older people dislike you for no reason. I'd be interested to know why they don't like you enough that they are trying to set their son up with another woman.
I seldom find reasonable older people dislike you for no reason. I'd be interested to know why they don't like you enough that they are trying to set their son up with another woman.
What makes you think they're reasonable? One reason for the dislike may be the age difference. His parents could view her as a gold digger (doesn't matter if they have money or not). I can think of many other reasons, but we don't know enough about the OP.
To the OP, one thing you should discuss with your bf, is if he's willing to always have a strained relationship with his parents. While they may eventually warm up to you, there is always a chance they'll disown him for staying with you. He needs to think about all the possibilities and decide if he'll stick with you or his parents. It may never come to this, but it's better to know before you get married, if that is the direction you're heading.
First of all, when my boyfriend was diagnosed with a rare genetic illness, he went through a painful divorce. The woman he married to dumped him due to his illness. (which later on I found out she dumped him because he brought his parents to live with him and they could not stand each other.)
I thought after his surgery, everything would be fine. I did not even give his illness a second thought. After dating him for two months, he was diagnosed with a rare kind of cancer (which is a side effect of his genetic illness) Cancer is healed and cured by 1 year of low dose chemo. (I went to chemo ward with him every treatment) and the only time we could see each other is in the chemo ward. Since we are living long distance from each other (3 hours driving distance one way), I occasionally (once a month) went to his house. When I was there, so were his parents.
Come to think of it, we haven't had any one on one time together whatsoever.
His parents loved me before and we had really good relationship. They live in with my boyfriend and that is never an issue. However, his mother claimed that she was allergic to perfume and his dad raised his voice and told me not to wear perfume.
I said, "It has never been an issue for six month, why sudden issue?" turned out, my boyfriend forgot to tell me that his mother was allergic to perfume, so I was the bad guy who disrespect their house rules. When it is simply just a misunderstanding.
Well, next time I went to the chemo ward, I did not say hi to his parents at all whatsoever. So now they think I am this really big bad wolf tried to eat his entire family. (I haven't met his daughter)
The reason I haven't met the daughter because my relationship has not been "normal" and we figured when we get to the point where we are ready to live together, then I can be introduced to his daughter. BUt now his parents put two and two together, and figured
a. I never loved their son
b. I never accepted his daughter
c. I never respected his parents
d. I only wanted his 150,000/annual income. Honestly, I make about the same amount money and I can care less about his income. We are living in southern california, it is not liek his income is all that impressive to be completely hones.
I am at a point where I just want to have some one on one time with my boyfriend. Having a mini vacation and all that.
Do you believe we have a future together? His parents have no signs of leaving us alone.
Do you believe we have a future together? His parents have no signs of leaving us alone.
No. Until your boyfriend starts acting like an adult who refuses to allow their parents to interfere, there is absolutely no hope for this relationship. Move on, you will never be able to compete with his family.
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