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Why does it seem like so many posters (but not all!) on here depend on others for their own happiness? I don't understand this.
I think if you are hanging all your happiness on others (whether they love you, approve of you, need you, want you, find you attractive, etc.), you are likely guaranteeing unhappiness for all involved. Happiness depends on your own soul. Depending on others to give you happiness is selfish. It puts unfair expectations on others.
Many people have had tough experiences, including myself. But one makes a choice to be happy, or not. I always think of that movie, "Life Is Beautiful" where the father makes the choice to be happy for his son despite the surroundings of a concentration camp. Thought that was a remarkable sentiment.
Choose to be happy. If your environment is really keeping you from that goal, make some changes. But do not depend on your environment or someone else to make you happy. It comes from within.
Cliche-ridden rant of the day over. Thanks for reading.
Why does it seem like so many posters (but not all!) on here depend on others for their own happiness? I don't understand this.
I think if you are hanging all your happiness on others (whether they love you, approve of you, need you, want you, find you attractive, etc.), you are likely guaranteeing unhappiness for all involved. Happiness depends on your own soul. Depending on others to give you happiness is selfish. It puts unfair expectations on others.
Many people have had tough experiences, including myself. But one makes a choice to be happy, or not. I always think of that movie, "Life Is Beautiful" where the father makes the choice to be happy for his son despite the surroundings of a concentration camp. Thought that was a remarkable sentiment.
Choose to be happy. If your environment is really keeping you from that goal, make some changes. But do not depend on your environment or someone else to make you happy. It comes from within.
Cliche-ridden rant of the day over. Thanks for reading.
True. But, also keep in mind the expression that "no man is an island." This may be Relationships, but this basic Maslow need could be satisfied through family, relatives, friends, and coworkers. It need not be a SO at any given point.
As for "Life is Beautiful," that is the glue in the film. For that matter, all the men in that barrack made the same effort for the sake of the little boy, it seems. For kids and loved ones, people make those sacrifices. Funny that you bring this up. If you read that list of mountain lion attacks I "jokingly" posted on the cougar thread, the mother in B.C. threw herself between the mountain lion and her 6 y.o. boy to save her son and didn't make it either.
They say (whoever said it) that depression is an illness of the privileged. I believe there is some truth to that.
I don't think there's anyone alive who hasn't been affected by some degree of hardship. However, you've got to persevere through it all and find a brighter day. It's not so much a consistent effort that is required, but like you say, the right mindset.
Why does it seem like so many posters (but not all!) on here depend on others for their own happiness? I don't understand this.
I think if you are hanging all your happiness on others (whether they love you, approve of you, need you, want you, find you attractive, etc.), you are likely guaranteeing unhappiness for all involved. Happiness depends on your own soul. Depending on others to give you happiness is selfish. It puts unfair expectations on others.
Many people have had tough experiences, including myself. But one makes a choice to be happy, or not. I always think of that movie, "Life Is Beautiful" where the father makes the choice to be happy for his son despite the surroundings of a concentration camp. Thought that was a remarkable sentiment.
Choose to be happy. If your environment is really keeping you from that goal, make some changes. But do not depend on your environment or someone else to make you happy. It comes from within.
Cliche-ridden rant of the day over. Thanks for reading.
As a human, we do depend on others to make us happy because we're not entirely self contained individuals.
For example, I pay for therapeutic massage because I can't do it myself. I pay for entertainment because I can't make myself laugh in a way that a funny person can evoke uncontrollable laughter out of me. I pay to eat at nice restaurants because somebody else did all the work preparing a good meal that I get to enjoy which in turn makes me happy. There is just a point where we all need somebody else in our lives to uplift our spirits.
Yes, this makes me dependent on other people for my happiness, but there is nothing wrong with it because, at least, in a commercial environment, there are rules, regulations, and clear boundaries so I never get too unhappy because I can count on a certain pleasurable amount of consistency.
On the other hand, I really feel for people in the open dating market because anarchy prevails which leads them subject to having more bouts of inconstant pleasure and nobody to turn to who will fairly, and objectively, rectify disputes. This is why people in the dating market come off terribly unhappy. They really need somebody else in their lives (on a personal level) but they only get preyed on, or they can't even find what they're looking for.
I love that movie! Depending on someone else for your happiness is silly...what if they leave you? All your happiness walks out the door too? That's a lesson I learned the hard way.
I love that movie! Depending on someone else for your happiness is silly...what if they leave you? All your happiness walks out the door too? That's a lesson I learned the hard way.
Ditto. Learned that lesson with my first *true* girlfriend. Been through the whole 'i need to get her back' phase, calling her all the time, feeling depressed because she was 'the one' and it was meant to be, blah blah, BS...
Then after a while you think and find out, nothing is forever and nothing is certain. The only thing you can control absolutely is yourself. The only person who can drag you out of the mud and keep you out of it is yourself.
This isn't to say there aren't people out there who can enrich your life. But you need to be able to rely on yourself during the times when they can't be there or just don't want to any more.
They say (whoever said it) that depression is an illness of the privileged.
I've never heard that saying before, but wow is it ever relevant. So much truth to that. Can you expound a bit on what you mean by "privileged" and how it relates to depression?
I think there is a difference between life's pleasures with another person and a true, all-encompassing, happiness of the soul. I think one chooses happiness as a state of being. Other people may contribute toward your achievement of happiness, but they are not necessary for it.
Let's take one of the ultimate pleasures with another human being (IMO) - making love. You share a loving moment with that person, but doesn't the strongest state of happiness only originate deep from within yourself? It is a state of mind that is positively impacted by another person. I imagine there may be some sort of inner happiness (peacefulness?) like this right before death, which you go into alone.
I've never heard that saying before, but wow is it ever relevant. So much truth to that. Can you expound a bit on what you mean by "privileged" and how it relates to depression?
I found it while trawling through forums at some stage.
My take on it is that because someone has the privileges of a normal life (let's not even consider rich or beautiful, etc...) they have time to feel depressed and wallow in the thought that their life is 'so ****' and nobody cares for them, they're unhappy, etc...
To juxtapose that for a moment, If you would take someone without those resources, someone who struggles just to survive and not die tomorrow, you won't find depression. You would find determination.
It is very easy for us folk (who have the basics, a good life, etc...) to get lost in the depressing thoughts of failed relationships and lost loved ones/lovers. To think somehow we're not good enough to exist even because we consider ourselves useless and unwanted.
On the other side of that coin, there is someone who be tremendously happy and eternally grateful to get even 10% of the life we have.
If you can think about that for a moment, and not realise how lucky you are and how much potential you have for happiness well then...wow I guess maybe you would sound ungrateful or are someone who loves constant misery and sadness.
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