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Old 01-16-2013, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,490 posts, read 18,461,034 times
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well, I myself have dated two single fathers. One single father says, "I will never date another single mother because she will never put me first."

Even though I was and am not a single mother myself, hindsight being 20/20, I can see NOW that the statement is a big red flag. He obviously has entitlement issues and double standard. Shame on me for not spotting the red flag at the very beginning.

after been on this forum for couple of days, I noticed that single parents who refuse to date another single parent is not that uncommon. Just out of curiosity, why would a single parent refuse to date another single parent?
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Pa
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Did you ask every single parent in the world?
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,490 posts, read 18,461,034 times
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no, I am asking the single parent who refuse to date another single parent? what is the logic behind it?
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:55 PM
 
Location: Lansing, MI
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There is a usually a lot of drama that goes with introducing children to a new partner. There is even more drama introducing children to a new partner and their children. I could also see it from the standpoint of different disciplinary methods.

I am a single parent and would not rule out dating another single parent, but no matter whom I date, my child is my #1. Just as theirs should be for them. That should not be confused as the child gets to rule the roost, though.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:57 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,490 posts, read 18,461,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chance2jump View Post
There is a usually a lot of drama that goes with introducing children to a new partner. There is even more drama introducing children to a new partner and their children. I could also see it from the standpoint of different disciplinary methods.

I am a single parent and would not rule out dating another single parent, but no matter whom I date, my child is my #1. Just as theirs should be for them. That should not be confused as the child gets to rule the roost, though.
True!

The single father I date tells me, "single mother will never put me first, that is why. It will always be her kids first" When I asked, "So you will NOT put your kid first?" he answered, " I will put you and my kid first before my own needs."

Now, I know it is totally untrue. He put his own need first, before everybody else's.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:59 PM
 
Location: Pa
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It's rough to have a Brady Bunch family. Mom is step-mom to his kids if they marry. The dad is step-dad to her kids if they marry. More kids more money is needed. Both exes in the picture.
Multiple problems.
Yet I have more in common with a single dad or a man that is divorced with kids.
And I would date them.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:11 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 8,863,169 times
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I have NEVER understood this logic at all. I get contacted all the time by single dads and when I ask this they almost always say they don't want to deal with the drama, yet the irony is almost always they have drama too. Why do they think single moms have drama and they avoid them yet then get mad when childless women reject them? Strangely I know single moms and none reject single dads so not sure why dad reject them, though I suspect in many cases it's an inflated ego.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:17 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,490 posts, read 18,461,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I have NEVER understood this logic at all. I get contacted all the time by single dads and when I ask this they almost always say they don't want to deal with the drama, yet the irony is almost always they have drama too. Why do they think single moms have drama and they avoid them yet then get mad when childless women reject them? Strangely I know single moms and none reject single dads so not sure why dad reject them, though I suspect in many cases it's an inflated ego.
I completely agree with you.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:23 PM
 
Location: The Mitten
751 posts, read 1,064,968 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
True!

The single father I date tells me, "single mother will never put me first, that is why. It will always be her kids first" When I asked, "So you will NOT put your kid first?" he answered, " I will put you and my kid first before my own needs."

Now, I know it is totally untrue. He put his own need first, before everybody else's.
First, not all single parents act like this.

Secondly, you must understand, the poor guy was probably lonely and the first women to interact with him wasn't below the age of 6.

Believe me when I say it's really hard when the only person you talk to is a kid. I talk to my daughter all the time but her answer to my statements is usually that of a kid.
"Oh man, I don't feel like going to work tomorrow."
"Oh so your going to stay home so I can come home early?!"

If I started dating again, I would tell her exactly whats going on. However, regardless if you have a kid(s) or childless, the first few weeks will be to figure out how to keep you from running away.
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:08 AM
 
Location: Lansing, MI
2,954 posts, read 5,947,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitopcat View Post
First, not all single parents act like this.

Secondly, you must understand, the poor guy was probably lonely and the first women to interact with him wasn't below the age of 6.

Believe me when I say it's really hard when the only person you talk to is a kid. I talk to my daughter all the time but her answer to my statements is usually that of a kid.
"Oh man, I don't feel like going to work tomorrow."
"Oh so your going to stay home so I can come home early?!"

If I started dating again, I would tell her exactly whats going on. However, regardless if you have a kid(s) or childless, the first few weeks will be to figure out how to keep you from running away.
At least your daughter can have the conversation with ya .. When they are so young they don't talk, your response is usually "bah bah boo ahh" or some other variation.

I think it is important to keep kids in the loop on the dating front, but only after you know the person your dating is a serious relationship.
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