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Old 01-18-2013, 10:00 PM
 
647 posts, read 1,514,823 times
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Anyone else in the same boat? The highest number of dates I've been on with one girl is two dates. I usually just get one or two dates then after that I get ignored. On the bright side I've had about 10 one night stands (I'm 27), but I can't get anything remotely long term.
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Old 01-18-2013, 10:25 PM
 
8 posts, read 14,650 times
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I posed a similar question last night:

http://www.city-data.com/forum/relat...ce-please.html

I got some good advice that may or not be helpful for you particular case
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Old 01-18-2013, 10:55 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,052 posts, read 106,836,948 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simon22 View Post
Anyone else in the same boat? The highest number of dates I've been on with one girl is two dates. I usually just get one or two dates then after that I get ignored. On the bright side I've had about 10 one night stands (I'm 27), but I can't get anything remotely long term.
I know a guy who was in your same boat. He met a friend of mine by chance when they were both traveling through Nepal, or Greece, or somewhere. It was her first relationship. They're married with kids, now. There's hope for you, OP. Chance seems to play a significant role in finding The One.
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Old 01-23-2013, 03:52 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,932 posts, read 11,655,730 times
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Most women don't take relationship expectations into one night stands, for many reasons. But some do it just to protect themselves. You need to get through this layer of protection and give them a good indication that this could be the start of something good. Of course, that will also scare the women who are afraid of close emotional connections.
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Old 01-23-2013, 04:59 AM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
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Not in the same boat. But I prefer casual relationships.
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Old 01-23-2013, 06:45 AM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,866,675 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simon22 View Post
Anyone else in the same boat? The highest number of dates I've been on with one girl is two dates. I usually just get one or two dates then after that I get ignored. On the bright side I've had about 10 one night stands (I'm 27), but I can't get anything remotely long term.
I have had stretches where I desired to build a relationship, but was not having much success getting beyond a couple dates. Honestly, looking back, I just had a run of initial dates with women where we were not really matching up well enough to pursue a relationship.

It happens.

Now, if you feel it is reaching a point of being excessive, then you would need to try and look at what qualities you are projecting which may be turn offs or red flags to the women you are dating.
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Old 01-23-2013, 07:22 AM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,258,849 times
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Been here as well. Usually when this happened I tried to add something fun to my life to make me happy. A string of 1st dates is not always fun, but it's a good way to meet people. I've had my string of one night stands as well.
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Old 01-23-2013, 07:33 AM
 
Location: apparently NeverLand
218 posts, read 481,191 times
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Maybe those girls weren't the one night stand, but you were their one night stand. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with one night stands, most people have been there including myself. However, maybe you should change the kind of women you are dating if you are looking for a LTR. A one night girl is probably not looking for anything serious.

About just going on first dates, maybe you should change where you meet women, too. For example, pick up a new hobby that really makes you happy (people are attracted to happy people) or try a new bar, gym, activity and perhaps you will find a girl who you have more in common with to get passed the first dates.
Good luck!!
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Old 01-23-2013, 07:53 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,756,157 times
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Anyone can have one night stands, relationships are a different thing. I'm in the same boat, well apart from having lots of one night stands, lol. Maybe you're good at picking up, but not good at being 'boyfriend material'?
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Old 01-23-2013, 08:00 AM
 
2,152 posts, read 3,382,376 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by southernbelle20 View Post
Maybe those girls weren't the one night stand, but you were their one night stand. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with one night stands, most people have been there including myself. However, maybe you should change the kind of women you are dating if you are looking for a LTR. A one night girl is probably not looking for anything serious.

About just going on first dates, maybe you should change where you meet women, too. For example, pick up a new hobby that really makes you happy (people are attracted to happy people) or try a new bar, gym, activity and perhaps you will find a girl who you have more in common with to get passed the first dates.
Good luck!!
i agree, i dont think the majority of people that engage in ONS are looking for anything more beyond it. Some people enjoy them, they dont really do much for me.. the rewards of a relationship or being with someone that u can connect with seem to make me more happy
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