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Old 01-20-2013, 12:23 AM
 
2,738 posts, read 2,047,489 times
Reputation: 2812

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I dated this guy a while back... We both got out of a relationship not too long ago and were using each other as rebounds. Shortly after dating, I sensed he wasn't that into me and it made me not want to be into him. Long story short, I didn't feel good about myself while dating him and it changed my perspective on men and dating completely. We decided we'd be friends but he was still kissing me and acted like we were dating. He got a real gf and ditched me without even telling me anything, though I saw that coming. I got over him after a painful month and right when I was over him he contacted me and wanted to be friendly again. I met up with him and he told me he had a gf but his feelings changed for her and they broke up and they were supposed to go somewhere this week but he wasn't going to go. He didnt mention getting back with me but i could tell he was trying not to be touchy with me. After meeting with him, I didn't feel good about being in contact with him at all. The same feelings of hurt came back and I was afraid he was going to use me again and ditch me next time he gets a gf. So I told him I'll contact him if I feel like it. That was a week ago. Well, I was wondering what he was doing today and it looks like they got back together. I don't know why but it just gives me a sour stomach. Was he trying to use me to get over her, but since I refused to be a part of it, he didn't want to be alone and got back with her? I don't know... It just makes me so uncomfortable when I think of talking to him again. I think I'm happier with him out of my life. Just needed to get that out. Thanks for reading.
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Old 01-20-2013, 12:39 AM
 
17,035 posts, read 21,942,770 times
Reputation: 30923
thats why you gotta respect the canine world, a few sniffs and you know exactly where you stand...


things get so complex so easily- maybe it would be good, for you to redefine what your relationship is with him- just as friends who can always talk with each other..etc,

on one hand, you cant have a shield up and then wonder why he's burying his bone in another backyard,,,,
sounds like you found you may like this guy more than you originally thought, and you have to sort out why- is it because of competition, or you really like this guy?

either way....life is too short, don't give guys too much credit "like we think things through" tell him straight what you think...guys arent good at figuring woman,,
ever see the old guys in shopping malls...just gazing off in the distance with a blank expression???? thats the end result of years of trying to figure out woman..
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Old 01-20-2013, 01:43 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
10,892 posts, read 12,904,046 times
Reputation: 15307
Quote:
Originally Posted by ponchew0 View Post
I got over him after a painful month and right when I was over him he contacted me and wanted to be friendly again.
I tend to view these situations as a test. You either pass and continue on your merry way or fail and get sucked right back into the cycle...
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Old 01-20-2013, 01:49 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,371 posts, read 12,224,218 times
Reputation: 10272
Quote:
Originally Posted by ponchew0 View Post
I dated this guy a while back... We both got out of a relationship not too long ago and were using each other as rebounds. Shortly after dating, I sensed he wasn't that into me and it made me not want to be into him. Long story short, I didn't feel good about myself while dating him and it changed my perspective on men and dating completely. We decided we'd be friends but he was still kissing me and acted like we were dating. He got a real gf and ditched me without even telling me anything, though I saw that coming. I got over him after a painful month and right when I was over him he contacted me and wanted to be friendly again. I met up with him and he told me he had a gf but his feelings changed for her and they broke up and they were supposed to go somewhere this week but he wasn't going to go. He didnt mention getting back with me but i could tell he was trying not to be touchy with me. After meeting with him, I didn't feel good about being in contact with him at all. The same feelings of hurt came back and I was afraid he was going to use me again and ditch me next time he gets a gf. So I told him I'll contact him if I feel like it. That was a week ago. Well, I was wondering what he was doing today and it looks like they got back together. I don't know why but it just gives me a sour stomach. Was he trying to use me to get over her, but since I refused to be a part of it, he didn't want to be alone and got back with her? I don't know... It just makes me so uncomfortable when I think of talking to him again. I think I'm happier with him out of my life. Just needed to get that out. Thanks for reading.
Actually you intentionally jumped in front of a bullet. You went into it using each other, and ended up feeling used over time. That is the logical outcome; once you agree to be used by someone you can't dictate the terms of the deal. I think you can learn from this so that you never do it again.
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Old 01-20-2013, 01:53 PM
 
Location: So Cal
38,504 posts, read 37,526,595 times
Reputation: 39273
This is a classic "listen to your gut" situation.
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