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Old 01-20-2013, 06:16 AM
 
943 posts, read 3,325,459 times
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So I found out that my friend was trying to befriend my ex w/o even telling me and I don't understand why. This is one of my closest friends that knew all the details as to what happened between us and why we no longer date. She also never formally met him because she lived out of state when we dated, however she was there when we met about 4 years ago.

The ex and I are friendly now (and I believe that he still has feelings for me) and yesterday we met up for lunch and caught up w/ everything. He confirmed my suspicions and gave me all the details (how they ran into each other several times, last time was Christmas Eve, have had conversations and how they are cool, etc)

Am I crazy for being mad? Also my burning question is why didn't she tell me?
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:22 AM
 
3,703 posts, read 3,767,057 times
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I'm not going to speculate because I don't know you guys or your situation, but the same thing happened to me after I broke up with a girl that I lived with for 3 years. Once my good friend (who I also worked with) heard that we broke up he was showing up at her work, dropping subtle hints for her number, and asking where she lived. Why? Because he was hoping to hit it. He failed miserably and it really ruined our friendship.

Not saying that is what your friend is doing, but that's what happened to me.
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:26 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,432 posts, read 34,220,846 times
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I have no idea why but I can tell you that the very same thing happened to me as well.

My friend kept telling me how I needed to get away from him, and I did. When I finally did, they befriended each other. He does have a way of pulling people in and telling stories. Woe is me type things.

It did hurt my feelings and I have not talked to her since it happened. We were very good friends, even used to live next door to one another. It's been since the end of 2010. I only just friended her on facebook within the last month. Maybe we can start talking again, I do not know.

Don't be mad forever.
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:36 AM
 
943 posts, read 3,325,459 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
I have no idea why but I can tell you that the very same thing happened to me as well.

My friend kept telling me how I needed to get away from him, and I did. When I finally did, they befriended each other. He does have a way of pulling people in and telling stories. Woe is me type things.

It did hurt my feelings and I have not talked to her since it happened. We were very good friends, even used to live next door to one another. It's been since the end of 2010. I only just friended her on facebook within the last month. Maybe we can start talking again, I do not know.

Don't be mad forever.
YES! She was the one that would constantly say that I should leave him alone and that she couldn't stand him even though she didn't know him.

I'll tell you one thing, I will never discuss my relationships with friends, I'd rather post about them anonymously online.
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:38 AM
 
943 posts, read 3,325,459 times
Reputation: 503
Quote:
Originally Posted by BioMechanical View Post
I'm not going to speculate because I don't know you guys or your situation, but the same thing happened to me after I broke up with a girl that I lived with for 3 years. Once my good friend (who I also worked with) heard that we broke up he was showing up at her work, dropping subtle hints for her number, and asking where she lived. Why? Because he was hoping to hit it. He failed miserably and it really ruined our friendship.

Not saying that is what your friend is doing, but that's what happened to me.
This is even worse, OMG I'm sorry. He would've gotten a beat down.
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Old 01-20-2013, 09:04 AM
 
943 posts, read 3,325,459 times
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So now that I have the details I feel like confronting her about it but a part of me wants to wait and see what happens.
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Old 01-20-2013, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
5,725 posts, read 11,661,227 times
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Maybe she didn't mention it because she knew you would react this immaturely.
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Old 01-20-2013, 09:22 AM
 
943 posts, read 3,325,459 times
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Originally Posted by maf763 View Post
Maybe she didn't mention it because she knew you would react this immaturely.
My anger stems more from the fact that she kept it from me, as if she had something to hide. That fact alone is making me question why she's interested in cultivating a friendship with him even more.
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Old 01-20-2013, 09:28 AM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,075,722 times
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I fail to see how "running into each other" constitutes a conspiracy. Are you sure that your ex isn't trying to make this into a dramatic situation to hurt your feelings? If it bothers you, then confront the situation and tell your friend it bothers you. If she is a true friend it will take care of it...If not, you'll know the truth. Otherwise, your staying passive aggressively silent is your issue, not theirs.
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Old 01-20-2013, 09:38 AM
 
943 posts, read 3,325,459 times
Reputation: 503
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
I fail to see how "running into each other" constitutes a conspiracy. Are you sure that your ex isn't trying to make this into a dramatic situation to hurt your feelings? If it bothers you, then confront the situation and tell your friend it bothers you. If she is a true friend it will take care of it...If not, you'll know the truth. Otherwise, your staying passive aggressively silent is your issue, not theirs.
Nope he isn't, I already had some back information that had me suspicious. He pretty much confirmed what I suspected. One thing about him is that he has always been very frank.

Plus contrary to the popular belief, "enemies" have no real reason to lie to you, especially if they are trying to win back your favor. Sometimes it's the "friends" you can't trust.
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