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I've always hovered right around my age as well. My husband is four years younger than I am. We don't notice it day to day at all, obviously. Four years isn't much. But it is still about at the edge of what I've ever been comfortable with.
The couple of times I have 10+ years-older guys a chance I just wasn't feeling it. It could have been those specific guys but I felt a real separation. There was just a gap. It wasn't about looks. It was attitude...not sure how to describe it. Just uncomfortable.
I have had much younger guys ask me out. I didn't feel comfortable going that way, either.
I seem to wind up with guys I could have gone to school with or thereabouts.
I am doing an experiment right now of saying yes to people I wouldn’t ordinarily say yes to because of age or some other factor.
I recently went out with a 10 years younger guy and it was kinda weird. Haven’t quite decided how I feel about him.
On the up note - we had good conversation. But I could just see the age gap. He was way more obsessed with his phone. Had to take pics of so much stuff. His mindset was also different. But on the other hand he had lots of life experience over the past few years. Definitely had a rougher path than I that came packaged with a lot of life lessons.
It was hilarious to get carded when we were out. But I kinda felt like oh he is going to be awesome 5 years from now.
So I am on the fence about going out with him again.
And on the other end I went out with a guy 5 years older. He felt and looked so much older than I. That was also kinda weird, even though that is solidly in my datable range. Honestly he looks so much older than I do it probably may seem weird.
Other people I have dated are within 3 years, and that felt a lot easier.
I find that most older women that keep an eye on their appearance, tend to date men up to 10 years younger than them only because men around THEIR age seem to give up on their appearances. These men become less active and show apathy. They just sit their butts down on the couch Al Bundy style, watching the game.
One of the women I dated has a b/f that did this. And she wasn't asking him to be doing anything strenuous, but just a casual bike ride or kayaking down the river. Something "active" not athletic.
It's like they loose motivation to leave the house. lol
What is that suppose to mean? What, you actually think women 60+ don't enjoy and have sex? Really? For edification purposes, they certainly do and some have very high sex drives. What an offensive and exacting comment. Tends toward anti-woman, don't ya think?
YOU may place the entirety of a woman's value to YOU based on her appearance, but many men do not. I know this may well go against your mindset, but if I am not attracted to a man, there is NO amount of money, status or other vacuous "thing" he may have to offer that will turn my head.
So for the first paragraph, the question in this thread is not at what point the woman stops wanting sex, or whether or not it is a valuable experience for her, it's whether one might want to date the 10 year older woman. While the woman might very well want sex at a later age, which is totally fine, I do believe her choices on the market for a man who is 10 years younger than her will be very slim.
This has nothing to do with my personal preferences. Of course I'm not attracted to someone 30 or 40 years older than me, that's not even a debate. What I am debating is that a man 20 years my senior would often be hardpressed to look upwards rather than downwards in age when dating.
As for the 2nd paragraph, lack of reading comprehension obviously makes any text problematic and offensive if you try hard enough.
See the boldened. and compare the adverbs to your "entirety"...
Also see my answer to JerZ down below.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwedishViking
As for the factor of women vs men deteriorating, well of course both do, but the question is in terms of how the dating market works, how much of a mans value is lost in his looks vs how much of a womans value is lost due to deterioration?
If 1 would argue that a mans value is largely determined by his success and less so by his physical attributes, while a woman is valued less on her professional success and more on her physical attributes, it would be logical to assume that men have a lesser loss in attraction value due to aging compared to women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I am so sick and tired of hearing this, especially from incels.
At your younger age you can’t get anybody, at 51 I still get offers, case closed.
My current girlfriend is not keeping me in celibacy, don't worry
Also good for you at 51. I could ask you how many of these of your "offers" are 10 years younger than you and looking for more than casual with yo, but the thing is you as an individual aren't interesting, just as my whether my GF is keeping me satisfied isn't interesting to this discussion either. We're talking about the general case, not the personal anecdote.
Look at society instead, who are the most or even in general characteristics of desired women by men overall?
What type of man are they typically with? Not who is the exception here or there, who is TYPICALLY with who?
Easy logics, you don't see 50, 60 y.o. men looking for 10 year older women in general, yes ofc there is exceptions, do I need to point that out to every generalization? Are we really that paralyzed from comprehending the general point?
20 or 30 y.o. men may be open to sleeping with 10 years older women but how often are they really interested in more? (hence the market of the "milfporn")
If you were to venture a guess, how many couples date each other where the woman is significantly older, let's take the 10 years of the thread, vs how many couples date each other where the man is significantly older than the woman?
Nobody forced this concept on a microlevel on all of these people to a macro level because they are incels or 51 or sexist or [insert adjective of choice]. It's just people responding to what makes them tick.
But the same could be said about you too, Swedish Viking. That is your individual preference, and so you're projecting that unto men of your age. Jerz isn't an exception, I wouldn't have a hard time finding anybody to go out with 10 years younger than me, and do they want more? Yeah, they've already had their kids or they divorced. Or were never interested in the way things USED to work. Not all men who are between 30 and 40 are ONLY products of historical biological instincts. Please, no charts.
Besides someone who looks great at 50 is better than someone who looks like hell at 40 or 35 if all you're going on his looks.
[quote=SwedishViking;52646318]So for the first paragraph, the question in this thread is not at what point the woman stops wanting sex, or whether or not it is a valuable experience for her, it's whether one might want to date the 10 year older woman. While the woman might very well want sex at a later age, which is totally fine, I do believe her choices on the market for a man who is 10 years younger than her will be very slim.
This has nothing to do with my personal preferences. Of course I'm not attracted to someone 30 or 40 years older than me, that's not even a debate. What I am debating is that a man 20 years my senior would often be hardpressed to look upwards rather than downwards in age when dating.
As for the 2nd paragraph, lack of reading comprehension obviously makes any text problematic and offensive if you try hard enough.
See the boldened. and compare the adverbs to your "entirety"...
Also see my answer to JerZ down below.
You state as "factual" what is not. It's just a lot of words of your opinion and view of women, which tends toward negative.
Now, you can walk it back cuz you got called out, but it does not change the content and tone of your post. Another truth--the personal attack on my intellect is just your veiled (but very obvious) attempt to deflect the attention from you to me. Good initiative, bad judgment.
I don't need to "see" your answer below because I see through you already.
Imagine if both sexes never dye their hair? More accurate ages would be called out! Some relationships might never have started because the other person has seen how many grey hairs the person actually has!
Imagine if both sexes never dye their hair? More accurate ages would be called out! Some relationships might never have started because the other person has seen how many grey hairs the person actually has!
True that, Stockyman.
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