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I've been stalked 2 times. Once in college, I asked for help on a math question and the guy took it as interest (which it wasn't b/c I had a bf at the time) and started walking me to my classes & to the student center around campus. That didn't bother me too much, but it got bad when I asked him to stop walking me everywhere b/c my bf didn't feel comfortbale. So, he started following me in his car during my runs and he would creep by my bf's place when I was over. Campus police had to be called.
The most recent one occured last year when I broke up with a guy and he went absolutely ballistic, blowing up my cell phone with horrible texts and calls threatening me. He started creeping by my place and I actually had to stay with my best friend because we thought he was going to seriously harm me. I had to call security and block him from on my social networks. It was really bad.
A childhood friend of my mother's, who had had a lifelong crush on her, began writing me letters when I was in college. Originally, he reached out for advice about his son's college search, but he soon was writing me conversational letters that were very affectionate and attributed qualities to me that were actually traits of my mother (who is very different from me in personality but has similar facial features). It wasn't stalking, but it WAS weird.
Mama put a stop to it. Don't mess with Princess Bubbles' little girl
But he had many traits I've attributed to stalkers - poor social skills, unhappiness in life, isolation/loneliness, etc.
So I wasn't stalked per se, but I'm curious as to where other people draw the line. I think it's when you persist in contacting someone (or following them or otherwise intruding on their life) after they have explicitly drawn a boundary or requested that you not contact them. I think that's what makes it so scary - the victim's desires have no bearing on the stalker's actions and they have ceased to be fully human in the stalker's narcissistic worldview.
A childhood friend of my mother's, who had had a lifelong crush on her, began writing me letters when I was in college. Originally, he reached out for advice about his son's college search, but he soon was writing me conversational letters that were very affectionate and attributed qualities to me that were actually traits of my mother (who is very different from me in personality but has similar facial features). It wasn't stalking, but it WAS weird.
Mama put a stop to it. Don't mess with Princess Bubbles' little girl
But he had many traits I've attributed to stalkers - poor social skills, unhappiness in life, isolation/loneliness, etc.
So I wasn't stalked per se, but I'm curious as to where other people draw the line. I think it's when you persist in contacting someone (or following them or otherwise intruding on their life) after they have explicitly drawn a boundary or requested that you not contact them. I think that's what makes it so scary - the victim's desires have no bearing on the stalker's actions and they have ceased to be fully human in the stalker's narcissistic worldview.
It's true, Stalkers see the person as a possession to be had. As far as traits, Well stalkers choose people from all walks of life and blaming one's self is not necessary. When we go out in the world and date and interact it is impossible for even the best judges of character to know what is going on in the person's mind or a history of their behavior. it often begins in stages that might tip some people off to the persons obsessive behavior. My case , While not as severe as others posters (partially because I withheld my address and work location) came roaring out like a freight train otherwise.
It's true, Stalkers see the person as a possession to be had. As far as traits, Well stalkers choose people from all walks of life and blaming one's self is not necessary. When we go out in the world and date and interact it is impossible for even the best judges of character to know what is going on in the person's mind or a history of their behavior. it often begins in stages that might tip some people off to the persons obsessive behavior. My case , While not as severe as others posters (partially because I withheld my address and work location) came roaring out like a freight train otherwise.
I'm not saying it should be obvious someone is a stalker. Many people are unhappy and lonely or have poor social skills. Hell, that could describe me at any point in the first 25 years of my life. But most stalkers have those traits - they are generally a subset of that group, in other words. I mean, how many times have stalkers proven to be well-adjusted, happy individuals?
A childhood friend of my mother's, who had had a lifelong crush on her, began writing me letters when I was in college. Originally, he reached out for advice about his son's college search, but he soon was writing me conversational letters that were very affectionate and attributed qualities to me that were actually traits of my mother (who is very different from me in personality but has similar facial features). It wasn't stalking, but it WAS weird.
Wow, I've heard of persistent stalkers, but to carry it into the next generation is really taking it to a new level.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
So I wasn't stalked per se, but I'm curious as to where other people draw the line. I think it's when you persist in contacting someone (or following them or otherwise intruding on their life) after they have explicitly drawn a boundary or requested that you not contact them.
Yep, that's the definition. What happened to you I would think of as borderline stalking, given the guy's history with your mom, but if he had continued after being told that you weren't interested, there would be no question about it.
Never been followed or anything like that but I have had men contact me a few times after I told them I wasn't interested. This one guy gave me the creeps so I blocked his email and he used another email addy. I also saw him on the streets twice. I don't think he was following me but it made me uncomfortable to see him.
No, but I did light a bag of poo on the porch of a girl who ratted me out to the rental office.
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