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The term "nice guy" translates to a male with ZERO confidence and that supposedly makes him "nice" but in reality he just is trying to wet his wick and once he gets what he wants he becomes a total DB, so essentially a "nice" guy is really no different than any other male except lack of confidence.
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More generalizing ... often the answer is yes, but sometimes in the context of a limited opportunity to "sell" yourself (a one hour coffee date, or emails on line) maybe you try to put your best foot forward. If you look at most of these "rules" that are permeating society, most of them are bs aren't they? Why should commonly held "wisdom" about someone who volunteers they are "nice" be any different?
Let's say I'm wealthy. If disclosing this is going to make the difference between getting dinged for a repeat outing, or perhaps getting a second date and potentially meeting the mother of my children would I do that? My attitude is generally ********* (you have to pass my set of hurdles before I would disclose such a thing), but if that's a selling point that gets you a second date is it so bad to disclose it?
I think you are better off being open minded, giving people a chance and trusting your gut instead of worrying about these stupid rules people conjure up in their heads.
People don't take chances anymore, because as you get older, and continue to date, you generally pick up more relationship baggage and hurt. So, more and more hurdles are set up and ultimately they can become cumbersome to any guy/gal who is not deemed attractive enough to the person they are gathering interest in.
I've done enough online dating to know that I'm either someone's cup of tea or I'm not. What happens a lot is I've had hot and cold streaks. I'll have a month of little to no contact and then two or three weeks where I can line up three or four dates. Online dating is where the picky become the pickiest, because ultimately they can. Always another guy or girl one picture, or page, over.
Wow...I must say I was honestly quite shocked, reading about some of the rather strong vehemence expressed towards the term "nice guy", on this thread...
Since when did the term "nice" (whether it refers to guys or girls) become the equivalent of a 4-letter obscenity? To me, a nice person (male or female) is someone who sincerely *cares about*, *has compassion for*, and is an overall very loving person, towards his or her fellow human beings. The real deal, if you will. Again, nice = loving = compassionate = gentle = kind = tender = kindhearted = affectionate. But all of these words mean the same basic thing, in the end. And somehow, I have a hunch that if he were here and alive today, Webster and his dictionary would agree with that Are there real, live people, who truly feel this way, and *are* this way? The answer: a resounding yes! There are sincerely "nice men"..."nice women"...and just plain "nice people"...
Are there people who abuse this word, and pretend, to be nice, when they are actually not? Undoubtedly. Does that mean that we have to let these bad apples, distort and twist the meaning of the word "nice"? Why should we...and in the end, isn't doing that just letting them win their false argument, and validating their deception?
Nice is nice is nice...just as not-nice is not-nice is not-nice...and 2+2=4. If you believe otherwise, please see the quotes below:
Quote:
"War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength"
--George Orwell, 1984
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 01-21-2013 at 08:44 PM..
Reason: Typos
Are there people who abuse this word, and pretend, to be nice, when they are actually not? Undoubtedly. Does that mean that we have to let these bad apples, distort and twist the meaning of the word "nice"? Why should we...and in the end, isn't doing that just letting them win their false argument, and validating their deception?
Nice is nice is nice...just as not-nice is not-nice is not-nice...and 2+2=4. If you believe otherwise, please see the quotes below:
I saw a man's profile on dating site, it looks like this, "I am a nice guy who has been burned by every single woman in my past, I believe nice guy finishes last, now prove me wrong."
Turned out, he is a super suspicious, paranoid, know-it-all, rude, mom's boy. But when I rejected him and told him NICELY, "well, maybe the problem is not all the women in your past, the problem is actually you."
He says, "If you like abusive jerks who treat you like dirt, be my guest." Hinted I couldn't handle how "NICE" he really was. That is so far from the truth. I didnt like him because he was bitter, paranoid, overly suspicious, uptight, and just downright boring.
LOL You see? "nice" is nice, I agree with you, but those who advertise "I am a nice guy, I don't have a problem, the world of women have problem" Sorry to say, these guys should advertise themselve as BITTER guy, not NICE GUY.
I have some genuine/nice qualities but I hate the term. It's incredibly beta and cringeworthy, and like OP suggests it's usually associated with losers that feel entitled regardless of how "nice" they really are. If these guys understood the underlying point in the "nice guys vs. jerks" debate, they wouldn't be calling themselves such.
People don't take chances anymore, because as you get older, and continue to date, you generally pick up more relationship baggage and hurt. So, more and more hurdles are set up and ultimately they can become cumbersome to any guy/gal who is not deemed attractive enough to the person they are gathering interest in.
Online dating is where the picky become the pickiest, because ultimately they can. Always another guy or girl one picture, or page, over.
I'm not a regular participant in on-line dating, but I am a regular lurker. Some of the same profiles have been up for 8 or 10 years in my area!!! And they are not fakes! Same thing when you go to MeetUp ... lots of the very same people. It seems to me that with this kind of a record of failure they should do what George Costanza did ... do the exact opposite of what you would normally do!
Do guys actually go around announcing that they're "nice guys"? I thought the let their actions speak for themselves.
The genuine nice dudes definitely don't announce that they're nice and let their actions speak for themselves. I think it's like Lilac said earlier in the thread...they just *are*; it's part of their core personality or "DNA".
It's the "fake" nice or the "nice with an agenda" folks who are more likely to announce that they're nice (especially if they've got nothing else interesting to offer). If they don't announce it then they demonstrate their behavior in such a way that it just comes off as forced, overdone or otherwise unnatural. Kind of like used car salesmen, especially those that are sly about it.
The genuine nice dudes definitely don't announce that they're nice and let their actions speak for themselves. I think it's like Lilac said earlier in the thread...they just *are*; it's part of their core personality or "DNA".
It's the "fake" nice or the "nice with an agenda" folks who are more likely to announce that they're nice (especially if they've got nothing else interesting to offer). If they don't announce it then they demonstrate their behavior in such a way that it just comes off as forced, overdone or otherwise unnatural. Kind of like used car salesmen, especially those that are sly about it.
Wouldn't that be a good way of weeding out the fake nice guys, then? If they push the fact on a woman verbally or behaviorally, then by definition, they're not truly nice guys. Kind of obvious, right?
Wow...I must say I was honestly quite shocked, reading about some of the rather strong vehemence expressed towards the term "nice guy", on this thread...
Since when did the term "nice" (whether it refers to guys or girls) become the equivalent of a 4-letter obscenity? To me, a nice person (male or female) is someone who sincerely *cares about*, *has compassion for*, and is an overall very loving person, towards his or her fellow human beings. The real deal, if you will. Again, nice = loving = compassionate = gentle = kind = tender = kindhearted = affectionate. But all of these words mean the same basic thing, in the end. And somehow, I have a hunch that if he were here and alive today, Webster and his dictionary would agree with that Are there real, live people, who truly feel this way, and *are* this way? The answer: a resounding yes! There are sincerely "nice men"..."nice women"...and just plain "nice people"...
Are there people who abuse this word, and pretend, to be nice, when they are actually not? Undoubtedly. Does that mean that we have to let these bad apples, distort and twist the meaning of the word "nice"? Why should we...and in the end, isn't doing that just letting them win their false argument, and validating their deception?
Nice is nice is nice...just as not-nice is not-nice is not-nice...and 2+2=4. If you believe otherwise, please see the quotes below:
Common sense isn't so common, anymore Knight.
I agree- nice guys should get more respect. They are few & far between.
On this forum, there's actually only 3 that I can think of that come across as genuinely nice.
(And, lol you're one of them)
Nevertheless, I'd take a nice guy anyday, anytime, & anywhere over the guys that I've been encountering lately.
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Are there real, live people, who truly feel this way, and *are* this way? The answer: a resounding yes! 
There are sincerely "nice men"..."nice women"...and just plain "nice people"...
