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Here's an important reality check: You're discounting all the red flags. You're explaining away and justifying all the flashing neon danger signs. Why did you post your concerns here and ask for people's opinions if you're brushing aside the opinions? Were you expecting people to tell you this is an ok situation?
The explaining away makes me think there is an entirely different angle to this post.
Bottom line, OP: your brother is having doubts, and is seeking opinions from the family as to whether or not he should proceed. If he's having doubts, he should trust his gut feelings. The doubts are there for a reason. End of story.
She's using him and when the relationship ends (and it will)she will either kill him or go after him and sue for money. So many red flags here that I would avoid her big time. If they marry she will expect him to support her and the kids.
Ha. Thought that when I read it, too. Plenty of other guys will? Future targets of the Two Step Gold Digger.
No, but her husband died. Her first boyfriend is the bio father of the first kid. She had the baby when she was very young. Both men are out of the picture completely
She is a pretty girl though. and many women have said, "if you dont take care of me, plenty of people would." It is very tacky and immature to say that, but I won't take it as a major reason to break up the relationship. Tried to give her the benefits of the doubts.
When my brother is starting up his business, the girl has given him a lot of emotional support, I personally think she is a pretty nice person, but I guess nobody can really be sure if she truely loves my brother or she just wants her bio children to be taken care.
Are you absolutely certain that she didn't have her first husband killed? It's very strange that she's already talking about wills.
Such demands for someone he just started dating. Sounds like the black widow. Tell your brother to run for the hills!!! Koochie is a dime a dozen. End of discussions.
My brother just started dating this girl. and He is asking us regarding if he should continue the relationship with her.
She has two bio children, from two different men. My brother is a young professional who has his own career and makes pretty good income.
The girl has told him that "I expect my future husband to put my bio children's name on his will."
I personally think she has been straightforward about it, and that is her expectation, it should not be considered as a big red flag, but my brother believes she is crossing the line
He told her, "I have to think about it." and she said, "If you are not okay wtih it, I have plenty of men who will."
Do you think this girl has been very honest, or do you think this girl has entitlement issues. thoughts?
Major entitlement issues. Let me count the things wrong here:
1) Already counting on your brother's death to assure a better financial future for her kids.
2) Making demands of the guy. This is stuff that should be discussed down the road, not offered up as an ultimatum after the third date.
3) "If you're not okay with it, I have plenty of men who will." Really? In other words, "I've got a Plan B, Plan C, all the way of Plan K if thise doesn't work out." This speaks to a really conniving mind, one that is already gaming things in case matters don't work out with your brother.
4) The whole thing smacks of coercion. Generally a bad sign when the relationship is just beginning.
Your brother should run as fast as he can. Because he's brought this issue to the family, sounds as if his gut is already thinking she has a problem. This woman practically has the word Golddigger tatooed across her forehead.
It depends. If I marry a women with teenage kids or even eleven or twelve years old kids and the children do not really regard me as their father or the biological father is still a big part of their the childrens lives then no, I'm not putting them in my will and it's a little selfish for her to even ask. On the other hand, if the children are very young, look up to me, treat me like their father and I basically raise them as my own then yes, I'd put them in my will. Honestly, this women sounds a little greedy. It is not her money and therefor it is not up to her.
I thought about this problem for a while and read through all four pages.
What I don't understand (and it's what everyone's been saying) is why you're ignoring the warning signs and explaining away the reasoning of this woman.
Does her 'take charge, impose an ultimatum early on' strategy flow well with you? You might think it comes off as her being 'very honest and direct' but everyone else sees it for what it is. A warning about this woman's character.
Heck, even if she is sincere about everything, she doesn't know a damn thing about tact and for that reason, I think your brother should back off (for his sake).
Thinking about this closely, this woman isn't YOU is she? I just don't understand why you defend her especially with this situation having a potentially major effect on your brother and his future.
I thought about this problem for a while and read through all four pages.
What I don't understand (and it's what everyone's been saying) is why you're ignoring the warning signs and explaining away the reasoning of this woman.
Does her 'take charge, impose an ultimatum early on' strategy flow well with you? You might think it comes off as her being 'very honest and direct' but everyone else sees it for what it is. A warning about this woman's character.
Heck, even if she is sincere about everything, she doesn't know a damn thing about tact and for that reason, I think your brother should back off (for his sake).
Thinking about this closely, this woman isn't YOU is she? I just don't understand why you defend her especially with this situation having a potentially major effect on your brother and his future.
Nope, I personally will never date a single dad (not like there is anything wrong with them)
and I have no children.
Nope, I personally will never date a single dad (not like there is anything wrong with them)
and I have no children.
Okay. Cool. Just wondered why you defended this woman so vehemently.
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