Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You are not ready for this modern day dating scene, and if you were, your nic would be TextingandPhoneGuy. Should people identify themselves when they call you? Of course they should. I think her first name will suffice, no need to give the name of the dating site. You are the one who created this "cluster-fudge" by not being able to keep track. You are a middle aged man looking for a date, stop acting like a kid in a candy store. Here is what you need to do, only offer your phone # to a lady who wishes to chat with you at the moment. If she says she would prefer texting, don't offer your phone number.
If you do get into a bind, how difficult is it to say, "May I ask who is calling?" as well mannered people identify themselves at the beginning of the phone call.
This post proves to me that my theory of a womans perspective on dating is so extremley different compared to that of a man.
We all know that people who use online dating sites are talkin to more than one person at a time.
Why and how is a guy supposedto KNOW which woman is texting or calling him if she doesn't announce herself?
I have received phone numbers from women, and then called them, and then I have literally been hung up on because I didnt send a text message saying who I was and which dating website I was from BEFORE the phone call. Now, I NEVER call a woman without texting first.
And it's funny, cause once upon a time, people COULDNT text. Imagine that, how did anyone ever date back then. haha.
I think women are so not used to being the first to engage contact, that they forget that they aren't the only woman you may be interested in. That, or they dont care. Even though, most lokely, they themselves are speaking with multiple guys.
Online datin is such a mess. A guy has to be perfect to get a phone number, then a date. If we slip up, it is hard to recover.
But a woman can call a guy without having EvER receiving her contact info, or hearing her voice, and he is just supposed to know who is on the other end? I don't know anyone that can do that.
If that happens to me (call from woman who doesn't introduce herself), I would just talk to her like she was a friend, even though I had no idea who she was. It is really awkward though.
If you're a guy, this is a lazy approach. I don't want a guy to give me his number and expect me to take the lead.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I think it's ok for women to call men and take the lead if they want to, but I just don't like when guys on dating sites who I don't even know just give me their number and expect me to contact them. Some even do it in their introductory message! I don't think this is what they would do if they met a woman offline who they wanted to get to know, so it just comes off as lazy and weird to me.
Smart! I agree. If a guy gave me his number, I would then give him my number so he could contact me first (assuming I wanted to meet him). I don't call or text guys first anymore.
A lot to sort though in this thread after my first post..
I can see that some women may think its lazy to just give the number and wait for the next action.
But for me it means that weve done enough messaging back and forth, hers my number and if you want to proceed then call/text me.
this is after a few messages have been exchanged. I give out my number because honestly I dont care who has it. I have a throw-away phone and its not a big deal. Its usually not the guy that has to be worried about meeting someone from the internet. Women seem to be sketched out by giving their number and Im not going to ask because I never know if its too early or whatever.
Im taking the lead with the first risk (the number), and Online dating is still sketchy with some people. I Dont mean to sound like an arse but they say women are the kings of porn, well i think its true for online dating as well. Its up to the woman what she wants to do. Im sure women get way more contact than guys and they pick which ever guy that interests them.
I have nothing to hide but no one online knows that. I sort of think of the number as a vow of being trustworthy. Maybe this is crazy but its because I am easygoing and have a trustworthy personality.
Does this come off as sketchy or creepy instead? input please.........
I know the age group has a bit to do with it, some of the women I find on pof are in college and ill talk to them and then nothing, or ill give them my number and nothing, It doesnt bother me because its more of a "pseudo rejection". I probably get rejected atleast once everytime I go out to the bar and dont even notice it. Its a part of dating and casual sex and you cant let it bother you.
I think it's ok for women to call men and take the lead if they want to, but I just don't like when guys on dating sites who I don't even know just give me their number and expect me to contact them. Some even do it in their introductory message! I don't think this is what they would do if they met a woman offline who they wanted to get to know, so it just comes off as lazy and weird to me.
Sorry.
Personally I see nothing wrong and everything right in women taking the lead. If a woman can do everything else in 2013 (or in 2003/1993/1983 etc) including say run a country then I myself could only see it as being hopelessly antiquidated if a woman waits to be contacted.
Personally I see nothing wrong and everything right in women taking the lead. If a woman can do everything else in 2013 (or in 2003/1993/1983 etc) including say run a country then I myself could only see it as being hopelessly antiquidated if a woman waits to be contacted.
Disagree. Men and women can be equal in a lot of things, but I don't think we are equal in dating. It's just biology - men and women are different. If a woman has to pursue a man then I don't think he's that interested. If he was interested he would pursue her. After they are dating, then that's different and of course the woman should initiate contact and make plans first, but in the initial stages, I think that men should pursue, and most men I know want to pursue. That's not saying they want to chase a woman who shows no sign of being interested, but it seems being too interested and available is a turn off to most men.
Disagree. Men and women can be equal in a lot of things, but I don't think we are equal in dating. It's just biology - men and women are different. If a woman has to pursue a man then I don't think he's that interested. If he was interested he would pursue her. After they are dating, then that's different and of course the woman should initiate contact and make plans first, but in the initial stages, I think that men should pursue, and most men I know want to pursue. That's not saying they want to chase a woman who shows no sign of being interested, but it seems being too interested and available is a turn off to most men.
IMO rejection is the biggest turn off to most men.
IMO rejection is the biggest turn off to most men.
But of course it's of no consequence at all to women. Glad we got that sorted out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Should people identify themselves when they call you? Of course they should. I think her first name will suffice, no need to give the name of the dating site. You are the one who created this "cluster-fudge" by not being able to keep track. You are a middle aged man looking for a date, stop acting like a kid in a candy store. Here is what you need to do, only offer your phone # to a lady who wishes to chat with you at the moment. If she says she would prefer texting, don't offer your phone number.
