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What are the legal/financial pros and cons of getting married? We are committed to being together regardless, but dont know much about the other aspects of 'marriage.' We have two children together. He makes about $50,000 and has poor credit which we are trying to fix. I have awesome credit, only make about 15,000, and am in college for which I receive financial aid. I don't want to lose my aid, pay higher taxes, lower my credit score...
We were considering making up our own legal contracts and wills, me change my name, and a ceremony where we exchange rings, but not get the actual marriage license.
Actually, it might be better not to get married. His income will definitely affect your financial aid, and his poor credit could affect yours. I sometimes think about this, as I am in a similar position where I make much more than my bf and have better credit. I want a wedding, but not necessarily marriage. As long as you have living trusts, wills, all do everything like that right (I would not do it yourself, but through an attorney) I see nothing wrong with it.
I am in a little bit of a similar situation, as well. I will be going to school soon, hopefully, and with financial aid. We are considering marriage, well we know we will be getting married, but I am ok waiting until my schooling is over.
He makes plenty of money, I do not. At any rate, married or not, I do not want him to be responsible for my schooling if I can't afford it anymore and the aid fell through due to marriage.
He would help me in a heartbeat but I would not want him to. That would not be his burden to bear.
So, if you actually DO want to get married, you could always wait until you are out of school.
For sentimental reasons we have been wanting to get married on 3-31-13 bc the numbers are significant to us. So I definitely want to have some kind of commitment ceremony on that day and would like to take his name so that I share that with him and our sons. We also like the idea of the titles of 'husband' and 'wife' for one another... We really want to be married, but in the way that it means to us and our values... And not deal with complicated legal or financial crap.
live together, you know with 1-2 years if marriage is right for you guys. Get engaged within the next couple of years to express and initiate your long-term emotional commitments to each other. Take another couple of years before getting married and plan for a simple wedding. Over the course of that time and experience, you should improve financially and careerwise, and you will share incomes and budget limitations. Life is better when you pool resources and have mutual goals as a couple. Do you need to get married for that?
Also, though rare, some couples do the common law marriage. It's living together for several years and holding youselves out as married (just starting introducing and presenting yourselves to others as husband and wife; it's very rare for anyone to ask for a copy of your birth certificates unless it is for government benefits). After 5-7years (depends on your state) of holding yourselves out as married, many courts will deem you married, just in case you need to get a divorce later.
You can setup all of the "legal" stuff like wills, property, power of attorney, all that sorta thing can be dealt with, gays have been doing it for yrs, the one area I'm not so sure about is social security benefits, that is one area that is sort of an unknown.
I'm with Mrs. Chow and we're not married, but unless something changes with the social security thing, we might getting married sometime down the road...IDK... marriage to us isn't that big of a deal, honestly, it's not just me as the guys saying this, she's probably more anti marriage than I am......
What are the legal/financial pros and cons of getting married? We are committed to being together regardless, but dont know much about the other aspects of 'marriage.' We have two children together. He makes about $50,000 and has poor credit which we are trying to fix. I have awesome credit, only make about 15,000, and am in college for which I receive financial aid. I don't want to lose my aid, pay higher taxes, lower my credit score...
We were considering making up our own legal contracts and wills, me change my name, and a ceremony where we exchange rings, but not get the actual marriage license.
His credit score and debts will become your credit score, and debts. Stick with the plan you have. And consult with an accountant for more info.
live together, you know with 1-2 years if marriage is right for you guys. Get engaged within the next couple of years to express and initiate your long-term emotional commitments to each other. Take another couple of years before getting married and plan for a simple wedding. Over the course of that time and experience, you should improve financially and careerwise, and you will share incomes and budget limitations. Life is better when you pool resources and have mutual goals as a couple. Do you need to get married for that?
We've lived together almost 5 years and all of our resources and goals are shared. We are raising 10 year old and 1 year old boys and are committed to a lifelong relationship.... But what are the benefits/downfalls of the actual institution of marriage? Is it more beneficial to those who more financially stable? I just don't think I fully understand the legal and financial side of it.
I'm with Mrs. Chow and we're not married, ... marriage to us isn't that big of a deal, honestly, it's not just me as the guys saying this, she's probably more anti marriage than I am......
Yeah, as a guy who recently divorced, I think this is my new relationship modus operandi: exclusive/committed relationships without the grand wedding or painful divorce experience. But until you get that marriage bug out of your system, hard to think clearly I think. I use to believe marriage was for family and kids, but these days people are making it work differently.
Yeah, as a guy who recently divorced, I think this is my new relationship modus operandi: exclusive/committed relationships without the grand wedding or painful divorce experience. But until you get that marriage bug out of your system, hard to think clearly I think. I use to believe marriage was for family and kids, but these days people are making it work differently.
I am inclined to agree with you... Until recently I had zero interest in being married. But I have started to feel like it is important for the kids... and to get a diff kind of respect as a family. I still have no desire for a grand wedding, but I guess some societal pressures have creeped up on me.
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