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No update on Taco Man and it is frustrating me because he is the one I really want. However he has issues now that prevent a serious relationship. Maybe once the weather gets better things will be better for him so no idea.
Yes he suffers from seasonal affective disorder, as do I (only apparently his is worse). He also has financial troubles with his store and family issues. Maybe eventually these will get better and he'll want to date. Of course these could also be excuses as well.
It really does so if he is dealing with it along with the other issues it makes sense. I'm just worried though that it's an excuse (been there). I guess I'll see in the spring what happens and if we are still playing this then I know.
if you state all the things you DONT want...the things you do want get overshadowed..I think the examples Jet Jockey gave are good ones..if a guy posted something like "No single mothers, must have College Degree must be Catholic, anything less than a 7/10 need not apply" in a dating profile, EVEN if he was good looking didnt have kids, was college educated wouldnt you be thinking 'who does he think he is?'..even if you matched all of his criteria?...I mean isnt he just stating what he wants?..
Very true. I'm a black guy who has always dated white women. It actually bothered me a little when I would read profiles that stated "I don't like black men so need not apply." I understand that not everyone is going to want to date a black guy; however, you are also ruling out a friendship. People always complain that they want friends of the opposite sex, but when you post all the things you prefer, who the heck would want to be friends with you? I would feel like I would have to toe the line with you too much.
Everyone has dating preferences, but when you are putting yourself out there, you have to sell yourself as the best candidate. Anything that can come off as negative, no one is really going to care about any of your positives. Your negative aspects will far outweigh your positive aspects, if the person who is reading your profile has any sense and/or self worth.
I've read my share of profiles that exiled me out, even if 90% of the other stuff we were a perfect match in. When you pigeon hole your dating profile, expect to get a pigeon hole guy. That's why you see so many girls getting burned online. They thought they weeded out all the bad guys, yet those guys were worse than the ones they thought they weeded out. All the positive profiles I've read seemed to not stay around long. The ones that are saying too much of what they, or are not looking for, stay around for ages....
This is why I am honest upfront. I got a message the other day from a guy and I went to look at his profile. Every time I get a message first thing I look at is if the guy has kids. Anyway I responded to him, thanking him for a compliment he gave me. He then sent me a few messages and I responded then he asked if we could meet. I told him I didn't date dads but good luck on his searching. He thanked me and that was the end, or so I thought. Today I get a message from him for "waisting" his time and that I shouldn't have looked at his profile if I wasn't interested. Huh? So if I am polite it's wrong, if I am blunt upfront it is wrong and if I ignore it is wrong.
Think about it. He's actually probably a really good guy too. Think about how you feel and the frustration you are getting from trying to find a good partner. He feels the exact same way! Online dating frustrates a lot of people, because when you start looking at how many people are available online, and you still can't match, you feel pretty awful. Like someone posted earlier, when there's 855 people going after 40-50 eligible singles, the minority party has the pick of the litter. It takes all the control from the large number of people and puts it all in the minority people.
Also, you have to think about the frustration that a person goes through online, after meeting someone in person, and then they are either very different or lied about very key components. I can honestly admit that online dating made me VERY frustrated. I totally understand you are looking for a specific qualities in a man, but we aren't early 20s anymore, and people have made mistakes and carry baggage. Yes, you can choose not to date or converse with that person because of the baggage; however, you have to realize that you are just going to run into another person just like it.
That's why I had to accept that there's a good possibly I'm going to end up with a single parent. It's not what I desire, but at 29, and I don't want to date someone in their early 20s, it's something I'm going to have to get comfortable with. I don't want to spend my life alone either. It's not on the level of settling, but more on the level of accepting a new experience and attempting to accomodate. I hear you loud and clear Idontdateyou, but you are putting yourself in just a very small bucket with a very small availability of men. Ultimately, you are going to get responses from men you automatically reject, than men you would consider a good suitor.
Think about it. He's actually probably a really good guy too. Think about how you feel and the frustration you are getting from trying to find a good partner. He feels the exact same way! Online dating frustrates a lot of people, because when you start looking at how many people are available online, and you still can't match, you feel pretty awful. Like someone posted earlier, when there's 855 people going after 40-50 eligible singles, the minority party has the pick of the litter. It takes all the control from the large number of people and puts it all in the minority people.
Also, you have to think about the frustration that a person goes through online, after meeting someone in person, and then they are either very different or lied about very key components. I can honestly admit that online dating made me VERY frustrated. I totally understand you are looking for a specific qualities in a man, but we aren't early 20s anymore, and people have made mistakes and carry baggage. Yes, you can choose not to date or converse with that person because of the baggage; however, you have to realize that you are just going to run into another person just like it.
That's why I had to accept that there's a good possibly I'm going to end up with a single parent. It's not what I desire, but at 29, and I don't want to date someone in their early 20s, it's something I'm going to have to get comfortable with. I don't want to spend my life alone either. It's not on the level of settling, but more on the level of accepting a new experience and attempting to accomodate. I hear you loud and clear Idontdateyou, but you are putting yourself in just a very small bucket with a very small availability of men. Ultimately, you are going to get responses from men you automatically reject, than men you would consider a good suitor.
Honestly most of those men have no one to blame but themselves for going after women who don't want them. A 50 year old obese man complaining because a 25 year old woman rejected him deserves the scorn he gets because he could have chosen to contact a 50 year old obese woman but didn't. There are still good people out there who don't have kids.
This guy isn't a good guy because he wouldn't have attacked me un provoked on a dating site because he didn't like my profile. He's just a bitter guy mad because childless women reject him. Why would a childless woman pick a man with kids except desperation? I don't want to support his kids, or deal with the drama, or prevented from having a Catholic wedding ceremony. These things are the most important to me.
Sadly, OP, I know so much more about your dating life than anyone else on this site. I think I know more about your dating life than I know about my own!
This is why I like going to Meetup events. It's how I find out who I'm dating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VX5650
It's sad but I'll be walking along and think, "wonder how Taco Man is doing"? Sad, sad, sad.. How is Taco Man doing?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari
lol, Me too!
Yeah, I've found him crossing my mind too. "Oh, IDDY was supposed to see him at the Legion last night. Wonder how that went?" Sigh...note to self: get own life. Stat!
(P.S. Pikantari, if I could have, I would have repped pretty much every reply you have in this thread. Have to spread the love though).
I was supposed to go see him this week but have been sick with the flu and pretty much have stayed in.
Ugh! That's too bad. The strain going around here is particularly nasty.
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How is Taco Man doing?