Listen jerk, I didn't ask for your opinion on my profile. (dance, sexy)
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It's not "bragging" about being healthy. What you see is someone who has filled his life with activities OTHER THAN WOMEN AND DATING. Of course I am single, never been married with no kids. I have quit the process. You, nor any woman, has any chance in hell of reeling me in and shoving your agenda down my throat. You are fishing in sparsely populated waters. If you find a guy who meets your standards you will be nothing more than a pump and dump. If a guy meets your standards and "morals", an attitude like yours will drive him away faster than a vegetable fart.
I can see why you feel this way. If most of the women you had to deal with and date were as judgemental and high and mighty as the OP, that would make any man head for the hills. Your last sentence is what me and a lot of the female posters here have been trying to convey to the OP, with zero success.
Quote:
To the women here. It is truly sad to watch you try and talk some sense into this one. And when I say things like "all women are like that", this cough gem cough, of a human is what I am referring to. For us guys, this is what's out there. Would you want to be with someone like that?
Us either.
Can you see why some of us have quit?
Yes, I can. But, know this: For every "gem" like the OP that you have had to sufferingly encounter, there is a woman out there who is NOT like this. Maybe it's what you said before; that the good ones are already taken. This is certainly possible. I even suggested a way for her to rephrase her strict requirement for a childless man with another phrase that was positive and non-judgemental in nature. She never responded to that specific post I made. Her writing style and stiffness with regard to accepting advice from others is very similar (to me anyway) to another female poster on here; which leads me to suspect she/he/it is probably a troll. Which is why I will no longer be responding to this poster directly.
It sucks that you and many other men have to deal with women like this! Alternatively, it sucks for us women to have to deal with men like this as well. What are ya gonna do, right?! Since you have lost hope in ever finding a decent, sweet and caring woman and have quit searching, then you have nothing more to worry about and you won't ever subject yourself to the likes of the OP ever again. But...if one day, you do decide to give it another try or you do develop hope again, I wish you the best of luck in finding the sweet woman that you (and most every other guy) hopes to meet. They ARE out there.
I can see why you feel this way. If most of the women you had to deal with and date were as judgemental and high and mighty as the OP, that would make any man head for the hills. Your last sentence is what me and a lot of the female posters here have been trying to convey to the OP, with zero success.
Yes, I can. But, know this: For every "gem" like the OP that you have had to sufferingly encounter, there is a woman out there who is NOT like this. Maybe it's what you said before; that the good ones are already taken. This is certainly possible. I even suggested a way for her to rephrase her strict requirement for a childless man with another phrase that was positive and non-judgemental in nature. She never responded to that specific post I made. Her writing style and stiffness with regard to accepting advice from others is very similar (to me anyway) to another female poster on here; which leads me to suspect she/he/it is probably a troll. Which is why I will no longer be responding to this poster directly.
It sucks that you and many other men have to deal with women like this! Alternatively, it sucks for us women to have to deal with men like this as well. What are ya gonna do, right?! Since you have lost hope in ever finding a decent, sweet and caring woman and have quit searching, then you have nothing more to worry about and you won't ever subject yourself to the likes of the OP ever again. But...if one day, you do decide to give it another try or you do develop hope again, I wish you the best of luck in finding the sweet woman that you (and most every other guy) hopes to meet. They ARE out there.
Points taken. However, it isn't just the OP. She is just the latest one to express herself.
I post the way I do to "witness" the concerns of other male posters, and, to give women a heads up as to why they keep running into dickwads in the dating scene. The OP has put out an age range and a status that most guys aren't gonna match. Simple math dictates that the higher the standards, the fewer matches. Also, guys who match these standards are probably already taken or they have quit.
To be fair, I have been lurking and/or posting on various forums since 2003. I have noticed that guys come in 3 "sizes". Taken, AFC, or quit. For the guys, taken can mean in a FWB relationship, serious relationship, or multiple relationships. I have known quite a few guys who see more than one woman at the same time. They tell me that Houston women think that "part of a man is better than no man at all". This is where some guys start shaking their heads and questioning the process. Specifically, they ask women why they don't make the first move if it's 2013 and "equality" is the buzzword. When questioned about this the women act like the oil and gas industry when when questioned about jacking up prices. "Well, the market conditions, speculation, latest disaster, blah blah blah.
No.
Why do we charge $4 a gallon for gas? Because we can.
Women would earn a lot more respect from me if instead of dodging and justifying their choices and behavior, they would embrace it.
Why do we wait for guys to make the first move? Because we can.
Why do we have higher standards? Because we can.
It isn't just the OP's attitude that has me quitting the process. It's the whole issue dodging and behavior justification that has me turned off.
I want a straight shooter that takes ownership of their acts and actions.
I have yet to find that. (hmm, i hear U2 in the background)
Points taken. However, it isn't just the OP. She is just the latest one to express herself.
I post the way I do to "witness" the concerns of other male posters, and, to give women a heads up as to why they keep running into dickwads in the dating scene. The OP has put out an age range and a status that most guys aren't gonna match. Simple math dictates that the higher the standards, the fewer matches. Also, guys who match these standards are probably already taken or they have quit.
Specifically, they ask women why they don't make the first move if it's 2013 and "equality" is the buzzword. When questioned about this the women act like the oil and gas industry when when questioned about jacking up prices. "Well, the market conditions, speculation, latest disaster, blah blah blah.
It isn't just the OP's attitude that has me quitting the process. It's the whole issue dodging and behavior justification that has me turned off.
I want a straight shooter that takes ownership of their acts and actions.
I have yet to find that. (hmm, i hear U2 in the background)
I think the truth as to why some women don't apporach/make the first move on men is simply - they don't want to take the chance of being rejected - the way that men do and have for centuries. Other possible reasons are that some women feel that, although it's 2013, the man should make the first move because it's the way they were raised to believe, it's the way their mothers and grandmothers dealt with dating and it's easier on them because they don't have to deal with the initial nervousness about approaching someone new.
I could tell by your post that it wasn't just the OP's attitude that has turned you off to the dating/searching process. It sounds like you've kissed a lot of female "frogs" in your lifetime and have yet to meet your "princess".
May I make a suggestion to you, sir? Because you seem like a person who can have a lot to offer to someone, I would suggest instead of quitting entirely, to just try and keep your mind open. Open to the possibility of meeting the type of woman who you'd like to date. Even at your age, it can still happen! At least you know enough not to place too many requirements on someone before you even get to meet them! You already have more of a leg up than people like the OP. It seems that your mind is open to meeting a woman who may not "meet" all of your criteria; which in turn expands your dating pool as well as your chances of meeting someone who you'd really click with and have fun with, even if it turns out not being a long term relationship. I hope you don't take offense to my suggestion; it was just something that popped into my mind at that moment, so I took the chance of typing it in my post in hopes that it might maybe spark a little hope within you. There are straight shooters out there who DO take responsiblity for their words and their actions; it's just that you (and everyone else) have to sift them out from the undesirables.
I think the truth as to why some women don't apporach/make the first move on men is simply - they don't want to take the chance of being rejected - the way that men do and have for centuries. Other possible reasons are that some women feel that, although it's 2013, the man should make the first move because it's the way they were raised to believe, it's the way their mothers and grandmothers dealt with dating and it's easier on them because they don't have to deal with the initial nervousness about approaching someone new.
I could tell by your post that it wasn't just the OP's attitude that has turned you off to the dating/searching process. It sounds like you've kissed a lot of female "frogs" in your lifetime and have yet to meet your "princess".
May I make a suggestion to you, sir? Because you seem like a person who can have a lot to offer to someone, I would suggest instead of quitting entirely, to just try and keep your mind open. Open to the possibility of meeting the type of woman who you'd like to date. Even at your age, it can still happen! At least you know enough not to place too many requirements on someone before you even get to meet them! You already have more of a leg up than people like the OP. It seems that your mind is open to meeting a woman who may not "meet" all of your criteria; which in turn expands your dating pool as well as your chances of meeting someone who you'd really click with and have fun with, even if it turns out not being a long term relationship. I hope you don't take offense to my suggestion; it was just something that popped into my mind at that moment, so I took the chance of typing it in my post in hopes that it might maybe spark a little hope within you. There are straight shooters out there who DO take responsiblity for their words and their actions; it's just that you (and everyone else) have to sift them out from the undesirables.
Let's address the first paragraph.
When a woman posts "that's how things have been done for centuries" guys start shaking their heads.
Their immediate thought is "wait a minute, I keep hearing all this talk from women about equality, but when it comes to dating, women fall back on that's the way it's always been". Then comes 26 pages of guys trying to point out the contradiction and women trying to justify their thought process.
On to the rest.
I can appreciate your thoughts. However, when a guy quits it is because he has reached the sum total of "all women" in his mind. Allow me to elaborate.
To me, when women engage in buffet feminism they are automatically disqualified. I don't care how firm their **** and ass are. In my personal experience, 90% of women out there align with your stance, separating the dynamics of dating from EVERYTHING ELSE. For better or worse, here is the conclusion I have reached when it comes to women/dating. 90% of women want guys to "wear the pants" when it comes to making the first move/starting a relationship, so that they can either "wear the pants" the rest of the time OR constantly strive for equality.
Right here is where someone from "team woman" chimes in with the usual cliches.
Don't bother, ladies.
You cannot dictate my life. I am legally allowed to reach my own conclusions and act accordingly.
Apotamkin, what you are doing here is engaging in a reasonable exchange of ideas. Take a good look at some of the threads in this forum. Do you honestly see the same type of exchange with the same type of consistency. Nope. Hell, take a look at the 2 responses prior to yours.
The only time people change their beliefs is through life experiences. I have reached the conclusion that women act the way they do because they can. My main theme here is that more and more guys are simply quitting, instead of debating/arguing/discussing. Or dating. You will also notice that I rarely, if ever, post responding to guys who ask "why do women hate x type of guy? There is no need to respond. Women do because they can. People have preferences. People have the right to make choices.
When I post the way I do it isn't just directed at the long time posters here. I would imagine that there are a fair amount of NEW lurkers. I am posting to give them food for thought.
Last edited by houston1963; 02-02-2013 at 09:05 AM..
Points taken. However, it isn't just the OP. She is just the latest one to express herself.
I post the way I do to "witness" the concerns of other male posters, and, to give women a heads up as to why they keep running into dickwads in the dating scene. The OP has put out an age range and a status that most guys aren't gonna match. Simple math dictates that the higher the standards, the fewer matches. Also, guys who match these standards are probably already taken or they have quit.
To be fair, I have been lurking and/or posting on various forums since 2003. I have noticed that guys come in 3 "sizes". Taken, AFC, or quit. For the guys, taken can mean in a FWB relationship, serious relationship, or multiple relationships. I have known quite a few guys who see more than one woman at the same time. They tell me that Houston women think that "part of a man is better than no man at all". This is where some guys start shaking their heads and questioning the process. Specifically, they ask women why they don't make the first move if it's 2013 and "equality" is the buzzword. When questioned about this the women act like the oil and gas industry when when questioned about jacking up prices. "Well, the market conditions, speculation, latest disaster, blah blah blah.
No.
Why do we charge $4 a gallon for gas? Because we can.
Women would earn a lot more respect from me if instead of dodging and justifying their choices and behavior, they would embrace it.
Why do we wait for guys to make the first move? Because we can.
Why do we have higher standards? Because we can.
It isn't just the OP's attitude that has me quitting the process. It's the whole issue dodging and behavior justification that has me turned off.
I want a straight shooter that takes ownership of their acts and actions.
I have yet to find that. (hmm, i hear U2 in the background)
What does this mean? I have never heard of such a thing. I see you mean that most men the OP wants are already taken or have left the dating scene. But "AFC"? I don't get it.
As an aside, I am dating someone who fits the profile the OP wants (i.e. is pretty much as you describe yourself) who pursued me heavily IRL. Such men exist and are very interested in being with a woman they find attractive. The OP's real problem is that she has nothing to offer such men other than her marvelous self. By this I mean, she wants to marry and have a family with a never-married 40 something guy, but has stated multiple times that he better not expect her to cook or to clean, that those duties must be shared, etc etc. I see no motivation for a 40+ man to to marry such a woman unless he simply wants a beautiful, sexy wife - in which case he is going to go younger (as well he should). He may as well stay on his own.
Once women reach their mid 30s or so, it is very important to consider that enhancing your partner's life is a very necessary part of the deal in entering a relationship. Simply showing up isn't enough anymore.
Last edited by OngletNYC; 02-02-2013 at 09:10 AM..
I think the truth as to why some women don't apporach/make the first move on men is simply - they don't want to take the chance of being rejected - the way that men do and have for centuries. Other possible reasons are that some women feel that, although it's 2013, the man should make the first move because it's the way they were raised to believe, it's the way their mothers and grandmothers dealt with dating and it's easier on them because they don't have to deal with the initial nervousness about approaching someone new.
Not me. I don't make the first move because A. I don't have to make the first move and B. Having a man strongly hit on me is a turn on.
I find it easier to date by picking from the group who find me attractive, rather than pining for the group who doesn't. Why reject the guy who looks like a 6 and is approaching me, so I can make a move on the 8 across the room who barely nodded an acknowledgement when I smiled at him? What's wrong with dating the 6? Especially when the 6 grabs my hand, pulls me in close, looks me in the eye and says "I think you are amazing and I am taking you out, end of story." That's hot!
As an aside, I am dating someone who fits the profile the OP wants (i.e. is pretty much as you describe yourself) who pursued me heavily IRL. Such men exist and are very interested in being with a woman they find attractive. The OP's real problem is that she has nothing to offer such men other than her marvelous self. By this I mean, she wants to marry and have a family with a never-married 40 something guy, but has stated multiple times that he better not expect her to cook or to clean, that those duties must be shared, etc etc. I see no motivation for a 40+ man to to marry such a woman unless he simply wants a beautiful, sexy wife - in which case he is going to go younger (as well he should).
Once women reach their mid 30s or so, it is very important to consider that enhancing your partner's life is a very necessary part of the deal in entering a relationship. Simply showing up isn't enough anymore.
The parts of your post in bold are opinions that I agree with wholeheartedly. The part of your post in blue bold is part of my mantra with the wonderful relationship I have with my guy. Without this fundamental ingredient, most relationships (I feel) would founder sooner or later.
Not me. I don't make the first move because A. I don't have to make the first move and B. Having a man strongly hit on me is a turn on.
This is in alignment with what Houston was elaborating on in his prior post.
Quote:
I find it easier to date by picking from the group who find me attractive, rather than pining for the group who doesn't. Why reject the guy who looks like a 6 and is approaching me, so I can make a move on the 8 across the room who barely nodded an acknowledgement when I smiled at him? What's wrong with dating the 6? Especially when the 6 grabs my hand, pulls me in close, looks me in the eye and says "I think you are amazing and I am taking you out, end of story." That's hot!
Although I've never not approached a guy because of the reason you've listed (and that I highlighted in bold), I can understand how it would be easier for someone to pick a person they'd like to date in this manner. It takes the guess work out of it and takes the pressure off of them, which in turn would make the "picker" more at ease and comfortable during this process. Alternatively, some men would probably like to be approached for the very same reason you've just listed and for the reasons I've elaborated on.
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