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Old 02-01-2013, 11:13 PM
 
36 posts, read 65,971 times
Reputation: 49

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Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard View Post
Now I'm wondering how he disposed of these condoms. Unless he flushed them down the toilet she could have retrieved them and used them to impregnate herself.
Ughh! I just threw them away. It never even crossed my mind that a woman would dig it out and use its contents. Blahhhh!
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Old 02-02-2013, 12:45 AM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,080,814 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Although this type of suggestion sounds reasonable, I can't help but worry that the more she's able to draw him into the scenario, the more that could potentially be viewed as admission of culpability on his part. "It's been a shock for both of us", as if they're in this together. They aren't in it together until she can prove he's the father.

idk, I think the OP should try to get some free legal advice about how to proceed from here, and also ask what happens if she puts his name on the birth certificate, but a DNA test proves it's not his baby (if there is a pregnancy). Probably it wouldn't hurt for him to ask for a copy of the ultrasound report or pregnancy test results, though. It would be interesting to know her reaction to that simple request.
Once she puts your name on the certificate, or possibly even before if she is already receiving social services the OP will be stuck w/ support payments. He will have to prove in court that this is not his child.
When the baby arrives, he will receive a letter from the court naming him as the father. He will have to respond immediately, disputing this, and he will need an attorney, DNA tests ordered etc.

I have seen this happen to a couple of clients at the law office, where I work. I'm not an attorney, but I did see how difficult and complicated this can become. Once your name is attached it becomes your responsibility to prove you are not the father. And, meantime they are collecting monies, or accruing these amounts against you.

Go see an attorney immediately and see if there is anyway to demand proof right now. Also, be careful what you put into writing, this can all be used against you, email, facebook, phone texts etc.

I think this person may be trying to pull a fast one...but I have also seen a case where it literally was a one night stand, and the DNA proof was positive.

It is a scarey thing that you are facing, get the advice of an attorney so that you know what options may be legally available. You may find out there are things currently that can disprove her claims right away. Good luck to you

Last edited by JanND; 02-02-2013 at 12:47 AM.. Reason: text edit
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Old 02-02-2013, 12:51 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,065 posts, read 106,917,029 times
Reputation: 115814
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
Once she puts your name on the certificate, or possibly even before if she is already receiving social services the OP will be stuck w/ support payments. He will have to prove in court that this is not his child.
When the baby arrives, he will receive a letter from the court naming him as the father. He will have to respond immediately, disputing this, and he will need an attorney, DNA tests ordered etc.
So her word is stronger than his? She could name any of 10 guys she had sex with that month, and they'd get stuck with this burden of proving she's lying?
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:10 AM
 
803 posts, read 1,873,844 times
Reputation: 577
don leon,

i think its possible that this woman could have taken the used condoms to try to impregnate herself but lets try to break all this down first.

the chances of sperm surviving outside of the mans body and/or womans body is decreased. even if she saved the sperm, i don think a professional doctor would take sperm from a used condom and inject it into her vagina..i think there are laws that doctors can only used sperm that is washed, seperated, and tested before attempting to get the woman pregnant.

if she didnt go the medical route, and just went into your bathoom and tried to put the sperm in herself by herself, the chances of pregnancy could be possible but alot lower unless she has a turkey baster or something..lol But.... what kind of condoms were u using because if it was a condom with spermicide.. than the sperm cells in the condom would be destroyed and there would be a even lesser chance of her being able to get pregnant.

i really think that shes not being truthful to you about being pregnant with your baby or if shes even pregnant at all..
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:18 AM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,080,814 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by Don Leon View Post
It's great that so many people have lent their opinions and advice. But the volume of advice has me a little torn. I am on the fence between cutting off all communication with her until 9 months from now. And on the other hand asking if I can go along with her to her next Dr. apt to hear from the horse's mouth that she is in fact pregnant and when the estimated date of conception was. Waiting 9 months and not knowing sounds horrible. I'd rather know sooner one way or another if she is in fact pregnant. If she is and the timing is right, then I'd wait until 9 months and get a DNA test. Although perhaps zero communication is a better route to take. Really can't decide. I kind of want to ask her for more info about what the Dr said, etc. to see if I can gauge if she is lying or telling me the truth...
I would suggest that you at least get a free consultation with an attorney that practices family law. Often you can get a free consult.

You could very well garner some good information about whether you should even be communicating with this girl beyond denying that the baby could possibly be yours.

Plus, if this girl is scamming you, perhaps for a reasonable fee this attorney can write her a letter demanding some proof of pregnancy, doctors tests etc. which might scare her away if it is a scam. Worth a try.

Sit down and write out all your questions, make this consultation count and gather some good advice. I sure hope you find out that she is trying to dupe you.

I have 4 sons. I have always advised them, that before they ever have sex with a female, they better make sure that it is someone that they would want to raise their children. That's the truth, same for females....there are too many consequences and it is the child that pays the price.

Sad, but the one person I mentioned in my first post...that had the one night stand, that child was already nine years old, and his mother was married when she had the fling w/ our guy...it was a medical situation that brought out that his real father wasn't the man who'd be raising him. What a bad situation.

If this all turns out for you, you can count your blessings and will have learned a very valuable life lesson. Hoping for the best for you.
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:21 AM
 
Location: Sydney, Australia
147 posts, read 283,997 times
Reputation: 255
I highly doubt she's preggers. You said you used condoms each time, if you are sure of this the chances of her being pregnant realistically are pretty slim. What age is she? This is also a factor as to how easily she's get pregnant even if all conditions were perfect. I have never heard of women taking used condoms and trying to 'impregnate themselves' (sorry but WTF/LOL!?!?!) if they did I think if they tried to impregnate themselves in that manner, they'd have to be pretty, crazy lucky for it to be a success...

I also think it's a no-brainer here to find out if she's fibbing ~ just ask to go over to her place with a pregnancy test and ask her to take in in front of you (or you know what I mean!)...

Last edited by Olliesyd; 02-02-2013 at 01:42 AM..
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:22 AM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,080,814 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
So her word is stronger than his? She could name any of 10 guys she had sex with that month, and they'd get stuck with this burden of proving she's lying?
Exactly! That is how it works in the cases I've witnessed. If the mother doesn't put a name on a birth certificate, and the father wants to claim the child, they still need tests. It is scarey, but as I mentioned, there is a window when the Child Support Enforcement notifies the accused father....He can respond, and demand DNA tests. But, if he misses that 20-30 day window...a judgment in the court by default goes on record.
That is how I observed the case i mentioned rolled out.
Really makes a person nervous....lol and I'm not even a man.
And, look at it logically. I'm not saying this girl is lying, I wouldn't know. But, I believe when a young person goes to get help these days from social services, say needs reduced housing cause she can't work or needs food stamps, applies for medical care for a pregnancy...I'm pretty sure the old..."I don't know who the father is" doesn't fly anymore. I would think that whatever money gets spent during the course of this pregnancy could be counted against the so called "father" ......
Anyone else with current/recent experience know this for sure?? Please chime in.

Last edited by JanND; 02-02-2013 at 01:32 AM.. Reason: edit text
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:30 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,065 posts, read 106,917,029 times
Reputation: 115814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Olliesyd View Post
I have never heard of women taking used condoms and trying to 'impregnate themselves' (sorry but WTF/LOL!?!?!) .
You haven't been on CD much. This is something guys here warn each other about. They tell each other to always flush the condoms. I don't see how that doesn't lead to clogged toilets, seeing as how condoms don't dissolve in water. The whole thing seems like an urban myth invented by guys who want sex but hate women.
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:37 AM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,664 posts, read 30,506,574 times
Reputation: 5177
2 ways to settle this.

Tell her you will demand a DNA test before caring for and providing for the child.

The Hail Mary. Tell her you are deeply in love with her but you want to get married the traditional way. Get married, buy a home than get pregnant.
Be firm on this that the family will not be comfortable with a pregnant bride. She gets a abortion, dump her then.
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:41 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,065 posts, read 106,917,029 times
Reputation: 115814
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
Exactly! That is how it works in the cases I've witnessed. If the mother doesn't put a name on a birth certificate, and the father wants to claim the child, they still need tests. It is scarey, but as I mentioned, there is a window when the Child Support Enforcement notifies the accused father....He can respond, and demand DNA tests. But, if he misses that 20-30 day window...a judgment in the court by default goes on record.
That is how I observed the case i mentioned rolled out.
Free legal advice, OP! Check online for the laws in your state.
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