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When did I mention such things then?
You seem to imagine really extreme things out of all this.
Are you really saying that women in general do not like to be protectively embraced by their boyfriend, for example?
Every female friend I know finds this extremely pleasant.
*Sigh*, I have no idea how to explain this without creating super-weird misunderstanding again, but let me put it this way - it's about showing that you want the guy's company and allows him to feel like a protector, not about that you need him.
I stated this in my original post as well.
My examples were vaguely hyperbolic extensions of the examples you gave. There are plenty of ways to show your partner you want them around without acting like a child.
Look, you're 16 and you've got a lot of years of dating ahead of you. In time you'll see that trying to play the cute little girl isn't so cute and will just leave your boyfriend thinking you're too immature to take care of yourself.
Why?
What's so terrible about liking the protection of a big strong man?
Do all girls hate muscular protective men now all of a sudden?
I did not mean to "play" it either, just being like that naturally and enjoying it.
Are you really claiming that you are not the least pleased by feeling that your boyfriend is capable of protecting you?
I assume all your female friends despise everything even remotely related to feeling protected as well, then?
First time I've ever heard anything like this in that case, to be honest.
I am perfectly capable of protecting myself. I do not need a protector. I know he is stong/capable and I feel very safe when I am out with him; however, I do not naturally gravitate to becoming a "damsel in distress" in the face of adversity, unpleasent situations, scary animals, ect. If something arises where I would need to be protected from a big spider to a jerk in a bar bothering me....I know how to deal with both.
You like being protected and have stated that it comes very naturally for you, great. There are just other women who don't fall into that catergory. My natural state is fierce independence
The sad part is that these "little weak women" carries their childish mentality throughout their entire life. I've seen it over and over again here in Florida. When I watch this behavior, I could vomit a bucketful.
I am perfectly capable of protecting myself. I do not need a protector. I know he is stong/capable and I feel very safe when I am out with him
Okay fine, that's exactly what I have been mentioning myself all along - not needing to be protected, just wanting the boyfriend around and letting him feel manly and protective as a consequence.
At least, that's the point I've been trying to make, but I guess the term "damsel in distress" created some kind of illusion of a "100% helpless underage girl with no abilities whatsoever to handle anything ever in life" - which I have never ever even implied.
This is not at all about "trying to play helpess", it's about not trying to hide the natural instinctive attraction for protective men.
Being physically weaker and letting a guy help out or being protective in that aspect is not the same thing as being unable to control one's own life.
Last edited by Butterfly_96; 01-31-2013 at 05:17 PM..
I have TWO Southernisms from movies that I find especially funny - when Southern humor was considered slightly more appropriate (insert accent):
- 007 "Live and Let Die" - "A secret agent??? On who's side????"
- "Smokey and the Bandit" - "Trans Am!!! What's your pleasure?"
I think I'm going to have to spend my Friday taking snippets of youtube videos and putting them on my computer.
At least, that's the point I've been trying to make, but I guess the term "damsel in distress" created some kind of illusion of a "100% helpless underage girl with no abilities whatsoever to handle anything ever in life" - which I have never ever even implied.
Gee, I wonder why the term "damsel in distress" was so off-putting to so many of us, male AND female.
Literal translation - "young girl in need of help".
Sorry, but I can't see anything offensive about that.
No, but your quest for attention and manipulative wording is what's offputting. Sorry. It's the New Millennium. Gender roles are still identifiable, but we've moved past the Victorian era.
No, but your quest for attention and manipulative wording is what's offputting. Sorry. It's the New Millennium. Gender roles are still identifiable, but we've moved past the Victorian era.
Gender roles are still identifiable, yes, and that's not a bad thing.
And men are naturally more protective than women, and that's not a bad thing either.
Let me link to that site again, here is an explanation of what I'm talking about:
"HOW TO BE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS WHO’S NOT NEEDY
It’s easy to be the woman that you are, and yet make your man feel like a real man. Just use these tips, and you’ll definitely make him appreciate you and feel great about himself.
Remember that men love an independent woman. But they feel terrible about themselves when their woman doesn’t need them at all. You may be perfectly capable of handling everything in your life, but ask a man for a manly helping hand now and then and he’ll feel good about it.
Ask him to help you in a man’s job
Are you having trouble carrying something heavy? Do you need help fixing a car, or perhaps a door hinge? Or are you feeling nervous to walk down the street after dusk? Ask a man for help.
A man likes helping a woman when he feels like he’s doing a superior job. Make him assume there’s no way you could ever have made it through without his help and his ego will swell. He’ll definitely feel more like a man around you. And yes, he’ll like you for it.
Thank him and don’t forget that flirty smile
While men absolutely love helping a woman in need, they are put off by women who can’t be grateful for it. If you ask a guy to help you, but don’t really show your appreciation, he may just avoid helping you or may even ignore you. No one likes being taken for granted, especially a man.
Always thank a man and compliment him when he helps you. Complimenting a man with a flirty smile and a twinkle in your eyes will definitely make his heart skip a beat. And he’ll be more than happy to help you out again.
Show off your independence
If you’re dating a guy, don’t play the damsel in distress all the time. Ask him for some manly help when he’s around. But when he isn’t with you, don’t call him over and ask him to help you out unless you really do need his help. By letting him know that you’re completely capable of running your own life effortlessly without his help, he’d respect you more. A man always loves an independent woman who doesn’t really need him, but wants him."
Does this make it easier to understand my point?
Note the "not needy" and "independence" parts.
I mean come on, how can something like this be wrong?
Do you really "feel like vomiting" just because you see a girl who asks a man for some manly help with something on some occasion?
That's definitely exaggerating things a lot.
Last edited by Butterfly_96; 01-31-2013 at 05:39 PM..
Gender roles are still identifiable, yes, and that's not a bad thing.
And men are naturally more protective than women, and that's not a bad thing either.
Feeling safe is one thing. Doing things to prove that they will protect you is stupid. Games like that are for children.
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