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This question is directed to both men and girls.
Let's say that if your date admits to you on your first date that he has been cheating on his ex girlfriend and he has learned his lesson, will you trust him for not ever cheating on you?
I think if a person who has cheated when he or she was young (college years), you cannot really label them as "once a cheater always a cheater" everybody did stupid things when they were younger. But if this man's previous long term relationship ended up in cheating, (he cheated on her), and as a result, their relationship fell apart. Will you trust this person completely?
Men and women cheat for various reasons and cheating is really just a form of wanting someone different than what you have. Cheating, though, is just poor way of handling relationship issues when the assumption is that your are in a committed and exclusive relationship. And, yes, sometimes people do grow from having cheated, maybe in the form of being being more selective in choosing mates, better future relationship skills and standards, etc. Sometimes, they don't grow or are still going through that learning experience, which brings me to the real question in your post: why would any anyone admit to cheating on his recent relationship, or discuss their recent break up, on the first date? IMHO, consider yourself having been warned of his cheating tendencies.
I think if a person who has cheated when he or she was young (college years), you cannot really label them as "once a cheater always a cheater" everybody did stupid things when they were younger. But if this man's previous long term relationship ended up in cheating, (he cheated on her), and as a result, their relationship fell apart. Will you trust this person completely?
Your thoughts please
If someone my age (mid-40s) cheated on someone in college, no, I wouldn't care. But if his last long-term relationship ended in cheating, I'd be out of there so quickly there would be smoke behind me. At my age, he should know by now that cheating is the coward's way out, and if he can do it so recently, he's still capable of it and hasn't grown up or learned anything in the last 20 years.
I'm a guy so if it was reversed where I knew a girl who admitted cheating in the past, it would be a huge red flag. People can change and sometimes it's a one time mistake but it would take a while for me to trust this person I believe.
Probably not......if you don't have the balls to be honest and treat your partner with respect then you don't deserve me
+1 one.
And, IME, it takes YEARS for people to change from these tendencies. I know some people that cheated, and it took them almost 10 (and sometimes more) years to stop being a chronic cheater. If someone admitted to me they just cheated, I would not consider them long term relationship material. Date them ? sure. But only date them, for about a month. Also, if the person I was dating had cheating tendencies, I would pretty much know without knowing. I may not say, "so-and-so is a cheater." It would be more like, "so-and-so is shady." Most people IME can also do this.
Nevertheless, would keep my antennae up for quite a while going into the relationship, and investigate---with a private detective---if I ever had a gut feeling.
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