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More that it is not passionate enough for her. She likes it rough and I do too. So when I start to try anything other then just in bed she always pulls away or stops me. She says that its hard for her to "see me as the aggressive type" so I am almost unable to do it that way, but that's what she wants.
I understand of my age, but the investment in this and what we have done makes it very hard. I know how I have panted her in this post but just like anyone she has more levels. She is a caring person in her day to day life, a great mother, and many more great qualities. I know, she slept with 2 people, I just found out about this like 30 hours ago and only was able to talk to her that night, and with our work have not seen her. So I am still processing this whole thing. It's a very hard thing and my mind is not working right at this time. Just because I'm 33 does not mean I can't be confused and have difficulty thinking clearly.
I just ask that everyone be respectful and not be belittling to me.
I understand of my age, but the investment in this and what we have done makes it very hard. I know how I have panted her in this post but just like anyone she has more levels. She is a caring person in her day to day life, a great mother, and many more great qualities. I know, she slept with 2 people, I just found out about this like 30 hours ago and only was able to talk to her that night, and with our work have not seen her. So I am still processing this whole thing. It's a very hard thing and my mind is not working right at this time. Just because I'm 33 does not mean I can't be confused and have difficulty thinking clearly.
I just ask that everyone be respectful and not be belittling to me.
I don't think anyone is trying to belittle you, it would just be a shame to marry a woman who is banging dudes without you knowing.
Take time to think it over and clear your head, then come back to this thread and read through.
For this girl sex is numero uno. She may just be looking to you for security for her and her daughter. And you're right all the other talk is just spin and BS. People getting married in six months should not need a break.
So now you have some soul searching to do and some hard decisions to make. How much do you really love this girl? Can you envision a life without her? Can you live with her occasionally hooking up with 'friends'.
The bottom line is respect. Mutual respect is essential for a healthy relationship. One cannot exist without it. You do not lie to and cheat on someone you respect. If she does not respect you, she cannot love you. Some of this is maturity, some is character. You would know where the source of this lies.
You could lay down some requisties you require for marriage and see how she takes it. But, can you really trust her? If I were you (and I have been) I would thank her for your time together and initiate an indefinite break of your own. Don't be taken in by affectionate behavior, excuses or promises.
Find someone with similar values who you can trust and truly enjoy life without unecessary drama.
If she's not happy with the sex now, how will that improve with marriage?
There's a lack of trust there too. She doesn't make you feel good about yourself.
Don't marry her.
No offense, but this "fiancee" of yours is definitely not a wife material. You should please rethink the whole marriage thing and run as fast as your legs can carry you. Best of luck mate and no worries about leaving, you will be okay
This. And the fact that OP had to even ask 'stay or leave' says volumes about the level of respect he demands from her which is obviously none.
That I think is right. I have not required respect. I'm not thinking that would change anything but maybe it would make this a little easier. I really feel like I have built my whole life around this and now when I leave I will have nothing. I will be homeless with very little money. I know that is not anything that will keep me here. I just am not even ready to accept this yet, like my my mind it is still not fully accepting it. I feel like i'm in a little bit of a daze, I even have to go back over this post and keep fixing simple typo's. I feel very lost and alone right now.
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