Fiance wants to quit job and make 1/3 of current salary (surrogate, woman)
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Do you think they also outta put their marriage on hold to figure this out???
Yes, of course! That's what engagements are for--to sort through all this stuff, if they haven't already.
Lives in which people just close their eyes and take the plunge, then try to muddle through afterwards, tend not to work out as well as those in which people keep their eyes open, communicate with each other, and plan. Especially when the plans far outsize anticipated resources. Not a good sign, not good at all.
Lives in which people just close their eyes and take the plunge, then try to muddle through afterwards, tend not to work out as well as those in which people keep their eyes open, communicate with each other, and plan.
wow, that is major generalization. i tend to believe that love doesn't always play by the rules of logic, especially over time. to each his/her own.
And... too many young couples follow your opinions on love... which is why there is a 50% marriage failure rate and so many single parents.
aww, such an unromantic perspective of love and marriage (more emphasis on practical). I still believe that love and faith conquer all too. in another thread that said that marriage is slowly developing into the business of having a family, more functional less emotional. so i understand your perspective too.
I don't know why are we discussing things that are affecting that fiance and his GF. They should sort those things out and proceed according to their wishes. It's their life...
If a pay cut is the tradeoff for personal happiness, that's how it goes, sometimes, but you really have to decide if the personal happiness you get from ostensibly doing the more rewarding work is going to be enough...and if the pay cut dents your economic lifestyle in such a way that you can't meet your obligations, or just simply have to give up comforts to which you are accustomed and that's NOT okay with you, the more rewarding work may not end up being enough for you in the long run. It really depends on your personality more than anything.
I don't know. As a person (and a PROFESSIONAL, no less!) who has really always worked in traditionally modestly paying fields, my personal experience has been such that I look at lower end salaries and say, "Yeah, that's doable," and not "Gasp! How would I ever make ends meet??" Because I've done and know it can be done. But not everyone is going to be able to or want to adjust their lifestyle in such a way as to accommodate a significant pay cut. People need to be realistic about whether or not the "more rewarding life" they anticipate on paper ends up being the real deal when they're actually living the life they had to significantly adjust if they make the active choice to do the "less pay, more fulfilling work" option. Some people find that it's not worth the tradeoff. Some people are much more flexible about their standard of living than others.
Do you think they also outta put their marriage on hold to figure this out??? Getting married also means that the couple love each other enough to handle the challenges they face together. And for me, getting married involves a mutual desire to start a family and raise children together. I know others may have a different opinion, but that's my take.
Some marriages/relationships fail when the couple grows apart. And they've only been together for three years... and they are still in the honeymoon stages of their relationship (usually around 5-7 years). I think that the honeymoon phase is when the couple's love feelings are mainly based on crush/infatuation attractions. Real true love is what's left after the honeymoon period.
And what my parents have often said to me is... marriage is important when real estate or children are involved. Otherwise, it's not critical to be married in this day and age since it's socially acceptable to have sex outside of a marital contract. So there is no reason for the OP's friend to rush into marriage with his fiance.
aww, such an unromantic perspective of love and marriage (more emphasis on practical). I still believe that love and faith conquer all too. in another thread that said that marriage is slowly developing into the business of having a family, more functional less emotional. so i understand your perspective too.
I think if people really know each other inside and out and really love each other enough - then they can probably conquer most things. However, it sounds like maybe the couple in question do not really know each other inside and out - and that may have an impact on their love for one another. I think that you should go into marriage knowing that it's not always going to be smooth sailing - emotionally, physically, and financially. If you don't love the person enough to weather the bad times - maybe it's not the right person for you. Just my 2 cents.
]aww, such an unromantic perspective of love and marriage[/b] (more emphasis on practical). I still believe that love and faith conquer all too. in another thread that said that marriage is slowly developing into the business of having a family, more functional less emotional. so i understand your perspective too.
Many say that Americans are too obsessed with wanting true love and marriage to follow a fairy tale path... in other cultures, like Asian ones, marriages are approached in a much more practical way where the unions are designed to enhance the well being of both families involved. One of my Chinese friends with an arranged marriage and who is 12 years my senior, used to state very matter of factly that love comes in time.
Some marriages/relationships fail when the couple grows apart. And they've only been together for three years... and they are still in the honeymoon stages of their relationship (usually around 5-7 years). I think that the honeymoon phase is when the couple's love feelings are mainly based on crush/infatuation attractions. Real true love is what's left after the honeymoon period.
And what my parents have often said to me is... marriage is important when real estate or children are involved. Otherwise, it's not critical to be married in this day and age since it's socially acceptable to have sex outside of a marital contract. So there is no reason for the OP's friend to rush into marriage with his fiance.
While I completely agree with your second paragraph, i completely disagree with your thoughts in bold. IMHO, love is dynamic and so it develops and grows depending on the time and commitment involved in being together.
I see you are a committed humanist and atheist. I believe in a christian love: "love is patient, love is kind".... just different i guess.
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