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I wouldn't call that love. I'd keep him at arms length till he moves out from ex-GF's place.
I kinda call BS on the FWB situation he brought up and "being bad at relationships". He's kinda calling your bluff on not wanting a FWB by getting you heated up, then saying "we shouldn't do this".
I think your getting played. But that's my opinion.
If you want to have sex with him, have sex with him.
He still lives with his ex. That could certainly cause problems in the future.
The "I don't want to lose the friendship" line may have been just a line so you'd think he didn't just want to **** you.
No one can predict the future.
^^^This
Your both adults and it sounds like you could both use some passionate Adult time. Have at it already and hope it's fantastic.
In response to his wanting to move in with me......My opinion, is that he does not. Much too far from his work, considering he can barely afford gas to get there from where he lives now. He says he wants to live on his own vs. jumping from one live-in girlfriend to another.
In response to his wanting to move in with me......My opinion, is that he does not. Much too far from his work, considering he can barely afford gas to get there from where he lives now. He says he wants to live on his own vs. jumping from one live-in girlfriend to another.
Duh
You certainly shouldn't be worried about moving in together yet.
Sleep with him if you want (you do) but know that nothing beyond that is certain.
I am so confused. Am a grown woman who has been chatting/texting daily with a man I have known for little over 3 months. I am recently divorced. He rents home with his ex-girlfriend as roommates, as he cannot afford to live on his own and they are under lease until May. He hates his job/being broke, but is too proud to accept help from anyone. I have established career, and my own home. I met him through a mutual acquaintance and we live 40 minutes apart. When first chatting, he mentioned being Friends With Benefits. I told him from the start that I didn't think I could handle such, as I feared becoming emotionally attached to someone who couldn't reciprocate. We met each other a month ago. Spent 7 hours together just talking in my home. We do chat about sex, and that we both have needs. So.....he visited again last night. I assumed we would have sex, and from our chat, I was sure he assumed the same. After being here about an hour, we moved to the bedroom, where things began to heat up. He said he was afraid to go any further because he did not want to lose our friendship. Said that he's had bad luck with relationships, and that he was afraid that having sex was just going to make things weird. We laid there discussing fears, and the fact that we do care for each other. I asked him how long does he think we can stay where we are without moving forward, because to me it seems the obvious next step. He says he just wants to do what's right. That he needs to get himself moved away from ex-gf and find a new job. To establish himself individually before being in another relationship. I agree! He is right! But when I asked him if I should hold onto hope of us becoming more in the future, his response was that he just has to go with the flow. HELP!!
This man has told you he doesn't see a future, please, please believe him and cut ties. Tell him to contact you when he has his life together and is ready for a relationship. I admire that he's holding back on sex so as not to hurt you, but I think he's irresponsible for telling you he doesn't want a R but then talking to you on a daily basis. You don't have to be angry at him, he's not a bad guy, but he's not the right guy for you right now, and that is what you should be basing your decisions on. Investing in a man's potential, especially when he's told you not to, is a fool's investment, so I hope you will take your heart off the table before you lose it.
You don't have to be angry at him, he's not a bad guy, but he's not the right guy for you right now, and that is what you should be basing your decisions on.
I agree with most of what you say, but I disagree when you say that he's not the right guy for her right now.
He might not be.
He might be.
How do we know.
She just got out of a divorce
She hasn't had sex for a year.
It might not hurt her to sleep with the guy as long as she keeps in mind that it may not lead to a relationship.
I agree with most of what you say, but I disagree when you say that he's not the right guy for her right now.
He might not be.
He might be.
How do we know.
She just got out of a divorce
She hasn't had sex for a year.
It might not hurt her to sleep with the guy as long as she keeps in mind that it may not lead to a relationship.
Given she said in her first post that she already knows she can't handle casual sex, I believe it would hurt her. I don't think happiness comes from denying your truth to yourself in order to end a dry spell.
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