What would you do/boundaries with exes!

[dr74]

Wow..Sorry this happened to you however it does seem as if you are a little to worried about your ex being friends with her ex’s.

As another posted there should be no issues in people remaining friends with their ex’s, this is healthy…just because they were not meant for a romantic relationship does not mean they were not meant to be good friends..

I have remained friends with most of my ex’s and have never crossed the line..I think they key to this is honesty and awareness ..
At times some ex’s will tend to make inappropriate comments however it is up to the recipient to put them in their place..
To remind them that this part of the relationship no longer exists and if they wish to continue to be friends to value their existing relationships…

[metamorphosis]

Lying breaks trust and without trust, there isn't much.

[Frihed89]

Are we talking about boundaries or your insecurity?

[RogersParkGuy]

Originally Posted by Pucktie215

So you're saying you would be fine with your partner hiding an affair with A guy she still spends time with from you and lying to you when you ask!

That says more about you I'm afraid

And your knee-jerk defensiveness says a lot about you, I'm afraid.

Your GF was not under obligation to tell you about an affair that occurred before you and she were together. You have no right to interrogate her about it. If I were here, knowing how insanely jealous you are, I would have lied, too.

[Opsimathia]

Well....this is why i don't date those who are active friends with exs. I don't talk to mine. I don't want that drama nor do I want to spread it elsewhere.

I would absolutely disgusted with her. Now you get to wonder if she gave you anything for two years.
WEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee skanks.

You are not insanely jealous. You are finding out the person's character and moral levels. She really didn't want to talk about it because she KNEW it was BS and wanted to have her cake and eat it too instead of owning up to a moral mistake.

When someone gets defensive...its because they are protecting something. Themselves, a lie, an illusion.

Its one thing if its casual but if you are entering a serious relationship you have a right to know their past.
You are putting your mouth on it. Don't you want to know where its been?
Its also a great way to catch a liar because they can never keep it strait.

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy

And your knee-jerk defensiveness says a lot about you, I'm afraid.

Your GF was not under obligation to tell you about an affair that occurred before you and she were together. You have no right to interrogate her about it. If I were here, knowing how insanely jealous you are, I would have lied, too.

I disagree with this. If this guy is still in her life, he has every right to know if they were friends or lovers. Add to this the fact that the exes disrespect him and their relationship by sexual innuendo and suggestiveness toward her, and I think the gf is disrespecting him as well just by tolerating it. I too am on friendly terms with my exes, but this is not the same as what this girl is doing, and IMO she is crossing a line and making him look like a fool. The lying to me would be a deal
breaker, but so would my partner not respecting my feelings. There is no reason to hang out one on one with exes when in a committed relationship.

I am not jealous at all that my bf has female friends and an ex on his FB page, because we are on the same page that part of loyalty is being respectful of your partner whether they are there or not, and that includes not letting our friends disrespect the relationship.