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The reality is that *every* marriage has a prenup. Either you sign one, or the state you divorce in dictates one to you. Think about it.
Prenups aren't worth the paper they are printed on in Colorado. They are generally ignored by judges after five years or so on the basis that the people signing could not have known what their future held.
It varies state to state, but pre ups usually only define debts and assets pre marriage. You can find a snake oil lawyer to draft up whatever you want, but its a waste and will be ignored in court.
But see - this is what I don't get. I understand that marriage isn't for you. I don't think I'm better than you because I'm married. Why do you think you are better than me because you aren't?
I am better than the married life. I'm better than having to have a dark cloud hanging over my head and hoping and praying I don't screw up or I will pay for it. I'm better than the idea of the government only seeing me as one half of a person. I don't want someone who could do certain things in my name. Marriage just opens the door to the other person to ruin your life. If they don't then don't but the institution itself opens so many doors for your spouse to cut you down if they want to for any reason. I'm better than having to prove my commitment (by killing half of myself) to anyone when I live it everyday.
It varies state to state, but pre ups usually only define debts and assets pre marriage. You can find a snake oil lawyer to draft up whatever you want, but its a waste and will be ignored in court
You can write whatever the hell you want. I know that in most places it won't be enforceable, but you just might get a judge who will enforce it. It is only reasonable, hold people to what they promise.
What I envision is a pre-nup that says all the moral stuff, and possibly even leaves out the possibility of divorce (like, if you're catholic, me, I'd go for fault-only), but acknowledges that the realm of man, i.e. law, in our current situation, may not enforce this, and THEN in THAT CASE, the contract would revert a severability clause (or a few of them), which then spells out a dryer, bones-only pre nup that only prevents alimony and partitioning of assets however you want it
Ultimately, my proposal is that marriage laws be changed to be like this, and make people's contracts enforceable. This solves the gay-marriage thing, because it's just contracts (though I wouldn't try to pass the law like that, I'd market it as barring gay marriage at first, but there'd be a severability clause in the case of a finding of unconstituionality).
I am better than the married life. I'm better than having to have a dark cloud hanging over my head and hoping and praying I don't screw up or I will pay for it. I'm better than the idea of the government only seeing me as one half of a person. I don't want someone who could do certain things in my name. Marriage just opens the door to the other person to ruin your life. If they don't then don't but the institution itself opens so many doors for your spouse to cut you down if they want to for any reason. I'm better than having to prove my commitment (by killing half of myself) to anyone when I live it everyday.
So - you're scared of marriage. That's basically what you are saying. That's totally fine. Nobody is forcing you to get married. Personally, my husband and I love being married but we certainly aren't going to force it on anyone else. And I don't look down on people who aren't married. To each their own.
You can write whatever the hell you want. I know that in most places it won't be enforceable, but you just might get a judge who will enforce it. It is only reasonable, hold people to what they promise.
What I envision is a pre-nup that says all the moral stuff, and possibly even leaves out the possibility of divorce (like, if you're catholic, me, I'd go for fault-only), but acknowledges that the realm of man, i.e. law, in our current situation, may not enforce this, and THEN in THAT CASE, the contract would revert a severability clause (or a few of them), which then spells out a dryer, bones-only pre nup that only prevents alimony and partitioning of assets however you want it
Ultimately, my proposal is that marriage laws be changed to be like this, and make people's contracts enforceable. This solves the gay-marriage thing, because it's just contracts (though I wouldn't try to pass the law like that, I'd market it as barring gay marriage at first, but there'd be a severability clause in the case of a finding of unconstituionality).
So - you're scared of marriage. That's basically what you are saying. That's totally fine. Nobody is forcing you to get married. Personally, my husband and I love being married but we certainly aren't going to force it on anyone else. And I don't look down on people who aren't married. To each their own.
I'm not scared of it at all. That's not what I was saying. It's useless and irrelevant to me. It doesn't benefit my life nor does it add anything to my life so why do it? It just adds more avenues for failure and complicates things. You need to be better at understanding what I say. It goes against my values as I value individuality. Marriage is not about individuality.
I am better than the married life. I'm better than having to have a dark cloud hanging over my head and hoping and praying I don't screw up or I will pay for it. I'm better than the idea of the government only seeing me as one half of a person. I don't want someone who could do certain things in my name. Marriage just opens the door to the other person to ruin your life. If they don't then don't but the institution itself opens so many doors for your spouse to cut you down if they want to for any reason. I'm better than having to prove my commitment (by killing half of myself) to anyone when I live it everyday.
You should talk to IDDY. Both so convinced that you are better than other people, both moralizing your personal preferences. Both delusional.
I'm not scared of it at all. That's not what I was saying. It's useless and irrelevant to me. It doesn't benefit my life nor does it add anything to my life so why do it? It just adds more avenues for failure and complicates things. You need to be better at understanding what I say. It goes against my values as I value individuality. Marriage is not about individuality.
So you're afraid of failing.
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