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Old 02-05-2013, 11:24 AM
 
35 posts, read 27,892 times
Reputation: 31

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All I ask is someone to treat me like I treat them. Give me some attention, put me first. I don't lie, cheat, steal, smoke, drink, I am good-looking, nice, responsible, etc. No, I'm not perfect, but I have all the good qualities that's considered a 'good catch'. I have been told this by others, so it's not a self-description.

I just commented in the What I learned cheating on my husband- Wendy Plump thread and it seems like my chances of finding a man who is like me is very, very slim. You can call me selfish, but I want someone who gives to me just like I give to them. It just seems like this world is full of people, both men and women who want to put themselves first. And then they wonder why their relationships don't last.

They say people change and grow apart. Well, not me. What you see is what you get and the only change I will make is if there is something wrong to try to make it better. But I cannot do this by myself. There are 2 people in a relationship and if all the hard work is on me, then it will not work. I'm not naive and I know that there is no one who is 'perfect'. I don't expect that.

I've watched tv shows where guys/husbands don't wanna be around their wives/family and to do their hobbies or other self-absorbed things. I'm getting the feeling that most guys are like this. Yes, you can have hobbies, friends, etc., but when you get seriously involved with someone else, that person should be put first.

I just came outta an 18 month relationship and I'm not ready to date yet, but when I am I will give it all my best and hope someone will do the same in return.
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:26 AM
 
1,223 posts, read 1,059,778 times
Reputation: 953
Quote:
Originally Posted by GottaBePretty View Post
All I ask is someone to treat me like I treat them. Give me some attention, put me first. I don't lie, cheat, steal, smoke, drink, I am good-looking, nice, responsible, etc. No, I'm not perfect, but I have all the good qualities that's considered a 'good catch'. I have been told this by others, so it's not a self-description.

I just commented in the What I learned cheating on my husband- Wendy Plump thread and it seems like my chances of finding a man who is like me is very, very slim. You can call me selfish, but I want someone who gives to me just like I give to them. It just seems like this world is full of people, both men and women who want to put themselves first. And then they wonder why their relationships don't last.

They say people change and grow apart. Well, not me. What you see is what you get and the only change I will make is if there is something wrong to try to make it better. But I cannot do this by myself. There are 2 people in a relationship and if all the hard work is on me, then it will not work. I'm not naive and I know that there is no one who is 'perfect'. I don't expect that.

I've watched tv shows where guys/husbands don't wanna be around their wives/family and to do their hobbies or other self-absorbed things. I'm getting the feeling that most guys are like this. Yes, you can have hobbies, friends, etc., but when you get seriously involved with someone else, that person should be put first.

I just came outta an 18 month relationship and I'm not ready to date yet, but when I am I will give it all my best and hope someone will do the same in return.


so then why are u complaining about being a good girl? it obviously worked in the past
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:27 AM
 
921 posts, read 929,452 times
Reputation: 2128
Quote:
Originally Posted by GottaBePretty View Post
All I ask is someone to treat me like I treat them. Give me some attention, put me first. I don't lie, cheat, steal, smoke, drink, I am good-looking, nice, responsible, etc. No, I'm not perfect, but I have all the good qualities that's considered a 'good catch'. I have been told this by others, so it's not a self-description.

I just commented in the What I learned cheating on my husband- Wendy Plump thread and it seems like my chances of finding a man who is like me is very, very slim. You can call me selfish, but I want someone who gives to me just like I give to them. It just seems like this world is full of people, both men and women who want to put themselves first. And then they wonder why their relationships don't last.

They say people change and grow apart. Well, not me. What you see is what you get and the only change I will make is if there is something wrong to try to make it better. But I cannot do this by myself. There are 2 people in a relationship and if all the hard work is on me, then it will not work. I'm not naive and I know that there is no one who is 'perfect'. I don't expect that.

I've watched tv shows where guys/husbands don't wanna be around their wives/family and to do their hobbies or other self-absorbed things. I'm getting the feeling that most guys are like this. Yes, you can have hobbies, friends, etc., but when you get seriously involved with someone else, that person should be put first.
OK....well, let us know how that works out for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GottaBePretty View Post
I just came outta an 18 month relationship and I'm not ready to date yet, but when I am I will give it all my best and hope someone will do the same in return.
Yeah, I'm kind of getting that impression here....
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:30 AM
 
4,231 posts, read 2,846,146 times
Reputation: 5132
There's a HUGE difference between being a good girl and someones emotional punching bag/doormat.

Dont let you being a "good girl" get in the way of you standing up for what you want/deserve.


Dont be a sucker just because you think you're "good".

SUGGESTION: Stop watching TV and movies and making assumptions about people and life based on that nonsense.
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:33 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,278 posts, read 19,344,335 times
Reputation: 29921
Call National Geographic! It's the rare and elusive Nice Girl. Shh, don't scare her.
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:34 AM
 
35 posts, read 27,892 times
Reputation: 31
I've watched tv AND experienced it so it was not an assumption. Thanks for your advice findly185
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:37 AM
 
10,046 posts, read 4,481,381 times
Reputation: 22152
Quote:
Originally Posted by GottaBePretty View Post
All I ask is someone to treat me like I treat them. Give me some attention, put me first. I don't lie, cheat, steal, smoke, drink, I am good-looking, nice, responsible, etc. No, I'm not perfect, but I have all the good qualities that's considered a 'good catch'. I have been told this by others, so it's not a self-description.

I just commented in the What I learned cheating on my husband- Wendy Plump thread and it seems like my chances of finding a man who is like me is very, very slim. You can call me selfish, but I want someone who gives to me just like I give to them. It just seems like this world is full of people, both men and women who want to put themselves first. And then they wonder why their relationships don't last.
There you are, demanding that others put you first, and there you are, complaining when others put themselves first.

Irony, party of one, your table is ready.
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:42 AM
 
182 posts, read 42,102 times
Reputation: 82
u can get bfs easy, wats da problem bro?
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:44 AM
 
5,258 posts, read 5,148,940 times
Reputation: 3181
Don't focus so much on the 'good girl' aspect. Just focus on finding a man who will value you for who you are.

As cliche as it might sound, it's true. Heck, I'm a good girl myself (I hate liars, I hardly drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, I'm not promiscuous, I treat others well and I'm a nice person), but I never ask myself why I'm still single as a result of me being a 'good girl'. If you're not careful, it might cause you, even subconsciously, to morph into a 'bad girl' to fit what you think is the perception of all guys out there.
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
5,943 posts, read 6,496,138 times
Reputation: 6240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
There you are, demanding that others put you first, and there you are, complaining when others put themselves first.

Irony, party of one, your table is ready.
I caught that, too, but I think she was trying to say (albeit not real well) is that she tries to put her mate's needs ahead of her own and would hope that he would reciprocate, but is finding the converse to be true most of the time.
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