Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't want to be compared to someone else's ex-wife, that sounds creepy.
It's not about being compared. It's about him admitting that he made a mistake. It's the whole talking about the ex thing. If you share tidbits about things you didn't like about your ex; I'm ok with it. Everyone has a past and I'm sure everyone has dated someone before me. Now, if all they are doing is talking about their ex, than I would think they aren't ready to date.
I think what you are forgetting IDDY, is that you have aged past the normal dating realm. Hell, I've aged past the normal dating realm. From 18-25, you could date almost any person you want. During that time, everyone is still trying to discover themselves and figure out who they are as a person. At 42, everyone for the most part has figured out who they are and what they are going to do with themselves. I feel you still view dating as you did in your early 20's, and sadly you can't. Times have changed and if you don't want to end up alone, you will have to broaden your horizons on a man.
For instance, go on a date with a divorced man, or even go on a date with a single dad. Remember, IT'S JUST A DATE! Just because you are going on a date doesn't mean that you have to pick out your dress and meet him at the alter tomorrow. Look, the dating realm has changed, and for us older people, we have to cater to that change. Now that I'm in the dating market, I'm usually talking to 3-5 women at any given time. If they ask to meet up for dinner or a drink, I agree. It's a drink and conversation. As we get older, we tend to hold more people at arms length, so it takes longer to get to know person. Lets also not forget that our careers and our own personal lives begin to take over as well.
I feel you are trying to make dating as it was for you 20 years ago and it's something that you can no longer due. You either need to try and cater to what you are exposed to by broadening your horizons, or live a long life alone, bitter, and frustrated.
I think as long as the single father knows how to balance his children's needs and the new girlfriend/wife's needs. The relationship can workout beautifully. However, based on my own experiences (I've dated two), the dramas are often too unbearable.
When people got burned, they tend to avoid the situation altogether. As long as they know their dating pool will become smaller due to their limitations based upon their own very biased personal belief, it is okay.
Idontdateyou is limiting herself for the wonderful person in her life, in my most humble opinion.
I think as long as the single father knows how to balance his children's needs and the new girlfriend/wife's needs. The relationship can workout beautifully. However, based on my own experiences (I've dated two), the dramas are often too unbearable.
When people got burned, they tend to avoid the situation altogether. As long as they know their dating pool will become smaller due to their limitations based upon their own very biased personal belief, it is okay.
Idontdateyou is limiting herself for the wonderful person in her life, in my most humble opinion.
This happens often with single parents in my area. They don't want to admit that they are bad at picking men, so they shun men all together. It's ok to say you are bad at picking partners and ask for help. If you don't want to remain unhappy the rest of your life, if you are the relationship type, than go seek help if you keep running into the same BS lines that guys tell you.
It's what drives me crazy about single parents. They shun off guys to work on themselves, but sadly, they usually end up with another bad guy for them. The cycle once again starts and last longer this time around. I tink everyone has to take time to mend a broken heart, but I think people go about it the wrong way. They shoo away everyone from the opposite sex, instead of embracing some of those people that may only want the best from you. Not everyone you talk to from the opposite sex wants a relationship.
This happens often with single parents in my area. They don't want to admit that they are bad at picking men, so they shun men all together. It's ok to say you are bad at picking partners and ask for help. If you don't want to remain unhappy the rest of your life, if you are the relationship type, than go seek help if you keep running into the same BS lines that guys tell you.
It's what drives me crazy about single parents. They shun off guys to work on themselves, but sadly, they usually end up with another bad guy for them. The cycle once again starts and last longer this time around. I tink everyone has to take time to mend a broken heart, but I think people go about it the wrong way. They shoo away everyone from the opposite sex, instead of embracing some of those people that may only want the best from you. Not everyone you talk to from the opposite sex wants a relationship.
I absolutely agree with you.
I've never been married and I have no children. I have dated divorced men or single fathers (two). When the relationship ended, I got blamed for being immature, I also was considered as somebody who hate children.
It is always other people's fault.
I wonder if this whole "I am the poor victim" mentality prevent people from seeking true happiness. Two lonely individual who are both over 40, never been married, never had kids can sit together becoming each others' enablers, telling each other "we are not abnormal, we just are picky with high morals" It is a very dangerous and sad thing to do to each other, in my most humble opinion.
when they finally accept their own responsibilities, admitting that they should work on their own issues whatever they might be, they will become much happier, peaceful people at the very least. When they are happier and more positive, the opposite sex notice that too.
I've never known one men hater or women hater have any luck in the dating universe.
No one wants to stumble across something like that and then feel that that particular person thinks they are trash. There are some things you should never utter out of your mouth or put on paper. That is one of those statements.
No one wants to stumble across something like that and then feel that that particular person thinks they are trash. There are some things you should never utter out of your mouth or put on paper. That is one of those statements.
Most people would have no problem with a person not wanting to date a single parent due to the potential drama, or due to the fact that he/she wanted the potential mate's first child to be their first child together.
And I think most people would have no problem with someone not wanting to marry a divorced person for similar reasons, or because it was against that person's religious beliefs.
But when a person comes out and say things like "divorced dads are scum" she runs the risk of being seen as a vindictive, judgmental person which is going to turn of pretty much everybody, not just the divorced dads she's not interested in.
That's all I have to say about it, I'm sure she'll report this post anyway and it will be deleted. Sorry for not having something "helpful to add" to this topic, but the truth is that there is no help available. The whole situation appears to be helpless and hopeless.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
