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Well at the time, when everything was happening, I didn't know how long it would be, it just happened to be over a year, by the time she healed up. But honestly, even if it was forever, I don't believe I would have gone anywhere. Not for that. From day one I said the only reasons I would leave would be because of Cheating, Drugs or Stealing. And I meant that, and if I get married again, I will still live by that. When you give your vows and you say through sickness and in health, I don't think there is a fine print that says unless there is no sex. Now having said that, I am not going to pass judgment on anyone that leaves their marriage for any reason. Not my place to do that. Just telling everyone what I have done and what I could continue to do if in that situation.
Honestly, this is a very difficult question to answer. It would depend on the two people involved and how each feels about the other being deprived of lovemaking permanently. If their love was strong and their commitment to each other is unwavering, then they obviously would still remain faithful to each other while absorbing the realization that they wouldn't be able to share their love together in that way. Even with certain permanent injuries and illnesses, there are still ways they could each satisfy the other sexually - however unconventional those ways may be.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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In all honesty, I am going to have to agree to disagree with the majority on this thread. Let me just say first that this is not a situation I would wish on anyone. Also, it is not like I would just say the day after I find out "later" and find another girl to do the business with. Likely, it would take a long gut-wrenching decision to leave and I would probably not be in the mood to do any business with anyone for awhile. I think that is just me and the importance I feel sex has to a fulfilling romantic relationship.
In all honesty, I am going to have to agree to disagree with the majority on this thread. Let me just say first that this is not a situation I would wish on anyone. Also, it is not like I would just say the day after I find out "later" and find another girl to do the business with. Likely, it would take a long gut-wrenching decision to leave and I would probably not be in the mood to do any business with anyone for awhile. I think that is just me and the importance I feel sex has to a fulfilling romantic relationship.
I think it's easy to say this when your wife is imaginary. I could never leave my husband over something like this now. We would figure something out - but I love him too much to live my life with out him.
There is no single answer. It depends on too many factors particular to the couple. Their relationship quality prior to the onset of this situation. Their attitudes towards sex and marriage, what they vowed and how seriously they take them. Their respective needs and desires for sex and intimacy. Their ability to anticipate and deal with problems, and their ability to cope when actually faced with the unexpected. Their age and length of time together. Their hopes, plans, and expectations for the future which may now be unattainable. Their hopes and caring for themselves and each other, and their fears and needs arising from the situation.
At best we can go by actual experience, and can try to envision what it would be like and how we'd react if put in this situation. However, most cannot truly know what they will do unless they have already done it, and some may choose differently if faced with a similar situation again (with the same or a different spouse).
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
I think it's easy to say this when your wife is imaginary. I could never leave my husband over something like this now. We would figure something out - but I love him too much to live my life with out him.
Fair enough. However I think it is also sort of easy to say when it has not happened to you and you have not had to make that decision, even with a real spouse. Like I said earlier I wouldn't wish anyone to be faced with this decision.
I guess I also look at it from a position of if I were the one that was sick and could not have sex or disabled, would I want my wife to leave me? Would a person be ok if their spouse left them for that reason?
Fair enough. However I think it is also sort of easy to say when it has not happened to you and you have not had to make that decision, even with a real spouse. Like I said earlier I wouldn't wish anyone to be faced with this decision.
Of course. And I really can't imagine there being many things that would actually cause this. I'm going to go knock on wood now!!!
I guess I also look at it from a position of if I were the one that was sick and could not have sex or disabled, would I want my wife to leave me? Would a person be ok if their spouse left them for that reason?
No, I would not be OK with that...
I also want to point out that I don't think ANYONE has said "sex isn't important". It's just that when you're actually married, you realize that that is just one part of the whole thing.
When I was a little kid, my parents explained to me that marriage was like a pie (don't laugh). It had equal parts: love, sex, financial, kids (maybe), and on and on. You could have as many pieces as you wanted but they were equal. Dad told me that when one piece of the pie was out of balance, it made the other pieces smaller. And that's when things got out of whack, so the message was "balance" is important.
For example, if you are suffering financial difficulties, your sex life might suffer. You can continue to make the analogies and get the point that everything is important and balance is necessary. So yes, sex is important, no doubt (not to mention really, really fun) but it shouldn't be blown out of proportion either. In the case of illness, I would say that you have to re-prioritize while still maintaining some semblance of balance.
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