No sex after marriage, is it a reason for divorce (young, family)
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You can have a healthy and vibrant sex life while never having intercourse. My ex had problems and I understood that. What I didn't understand is her callous attitude towards my needs. When she had problems she ceased even trying to take care of me. THAT was unforgivable. I was willing to work with her, but for her it was a one-way street. If she was done, I was done. If her drive was gone then I would just have to live with it. Okay, I'm done then. And I was.
I agree with one poster who said there are differences between unable to and unwilling to.
Bible says that a wife's body is not only hers, but her husband's as well, and vice versa. A husband's body does not only belong to himself, it is also his wife's.
Even if one of the spouses is not "in the mood", sometimes, you still need to perform the duty in order to fulfill the wedding vows.
You should not compromise your needs, you deserve a good woman who takes care of your needs.
Bible says that a wife's body is not only hers, but her husband's as well, and vice versa. A husband's body does not only belong to himself, it is also his wife's.
Bible says a lot of ridiculous things.
Quote:
Even if one of the spouses is not "in the mood", sometimes, you still need to perform the duty in order to fulfill the wedding vows.
You can have a healthy and vibrant sex life while never having intercourse. My ex had problems and I understood that. What I didn't understand is her callous attitude towards my needs. When she had problems she ceased even trying to take care of me. THAT was unforgivable. I was willing to work with her, but for her it was a one-way street. If she was done, I was done. If her drive was gone then I would just have to live with it. Okay, I'm done then. And I was.
Good for you. Too many women with hold and condition their men that it's only all about her and when she wants it. I don't why guys put up with it.
I agree with one poster who said there are differences between unable to and unwilling to.
Bible says that a wife's body is not only hers, but her husband's as well, and vice versa. A husband's body does not only belong to himself, it is also his wife's.
Even if one of the spouses is not "in the mood", sometimes, you still need to perform the duty in order to fulfill the wedding vows.
You should not compromise your needs, you deserve a good woman who takes care of your needs.
Good luck.
Personally, this part is kind of the cool thing about marriage (at least, for me). I think of it more like our little secret (we sometimes say "you're mine") and we share a little moment where we want to go home and "own" each other...hehe...but we DO belong to each other. Nothing wrong with that, IMO.
I know it seems "disgusting" to some about "performing duties to fulfill vows" but think about it...this is a guy you LOVE, you may realize that your body is not up to function but you know he could really use a good lovin'...I know there have been times when my mind was in it but my body didn't cooperate fully but I still went through with it because I wanted some relief for my guy. I know the good and better times are to follow but for now, I can "wing" this one because I LOVE him. To me, that's part of being married...understanding the importance of something even when we can't fully "give"...we can give a little and hopefully that will get us through the rough times....like in sickness.
I don't agree either gender should be withholding for the sake of playing games...or being selfish. If we take all of that out, we'd be a lot better off. I just will never understand how people can be SO MEAN to the ones they're supposed to love. Oh sure, we get mad and we might say things in anger...but if we remember who we're talking to, we apologize and then work things out.
No kidding. I think a lot of the folks in the "no way, not me, I'd leave" crowd here are shooting in the dark, whether it's because they've never been married, never had a serious relationship, are young and don't have a lot of life experience, whatever. It's like they expect married life, or even long-term relationships, to be one big sex-fest. As Dew mentioned earlier, it's easy to talk about imaginary spouses. Come talk to us when you've been married for 10, 15, 20 years, and the person who means the most to you in this world, the one you've built a life with, made a home with, been through thick and thin with, had children with, gets sick.
But I think there's a huge difference between sacrificing one's golden years with sacrificing their whole life. It's not such a daunting outlook to a person age 50 and married 20 years who is probably having little sex anyway and whose relationship has evolved as compared to a person age 25 and married but a few years. I'll bet those saying they'd leave are younger and for their demographics that might be a more likely and understandable outcome.
Personally, this part is kind of the cool thing about marriage (at least, for me). I think of it more like our little secret (we sometimes say "you're mine") and we share a little moment where we want to go home and "own" each other...hehe...but we DO belong to each other. Nothing wrong with that, IMO.
I know it seems "disgusting" to some about "performing duties to fulfill vows" but think about it...this is a guy you LOVE, you may realize that your body is not up to function but you know he could really use a good lovin'...I know there have been times when my mind was in it but my body didn't cooperate fully but I still went through with it because I wanted some relief for my guy. I know the good and better times are to follow but for now, I can "wing" this one because I LOVE him. To me, that's part of being married...understanding the importance of something even when we can't fully "give"...we can give a little and hopefully that will get us through the rough times....like in sickness.
I don't agree either gender should be withholding for the sake of playing games...or being selfish. If we take all of that out, we'd be a lot better off. I just will never understand how people can be SO MEAN to the ones they're supposed to love. Oh sure, we get mad and we might say things in anger...but if we remember who we're talking to, we apologize and then work things out.
Good grief, I feel so old-fashioned.
exactly! Those women or men who always do things based upon what they need, what they want must have some real good marriages lol
like I know this woman who only gives her poor husband sex one day before her period (that is when she feels like she is in the mood) and 5 years later, one day out of blue, her husband just doesn't want anything to do with her anymore. She goes, "If you love me, you should accept me for whom I am." LOL what lame excuse.
But I think there's a huge difference between sacrificing one's golden years with sacrificing their whole life. It's not such a daunting outlook to a person age 50 and married 20 years who is probably having little sex anyway and whose relationship has evolved as compared to a person age 25 and married but a few years. I'll bet those saying they'd leave are younger and for their demographics that might be a more likely and understandable outcome.
Which is why people shouldn't get married young, IMHO. Don't make the commitment until you're ready to make the commitment. Granted, there are never any guarantees against divorce, but if you go into a marriage knowing full well that you don't really mean "for better or worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health," you're stacking the cards against yourself.
Which is why people shouldn't get married young, IMHO. Don't make the commitment until you're ready to make the commitment. Granted, there are never any guarantees against divorce, but if you go into a marriage knowing full well that you don't really mean "for better or worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health," you're stacking the cards against yourself.
exactly!!!!! I keep on telling my friends and family members "Your interests, taste in men or women, belief, even life styles CHANGE when you age, when you grow up."
There is a study shown that people married in their 20s have a 10 times bigger chance of getting a divorce compare to people married in their late 30s.
Marriage is so much more than just sex, although sex is a very important factor in a marriage.
Plus, sex is so much more than just simply intercourse.
Don't marry young don't settle don't marry somebody you don't love.
exactly! Those women or men who always do things based upon what they need, what they want must have some real good marriages lol
like I know this woman who only gives her poor husband sex one day before her period (that is when she feels like she is in the mood) and 5 years later, one day out of blue, her husband just doesn't want anything to do with her anymore. She goes, "If you love me, you should accept me for whom I am." LOL what lame excuse.
Yea, that just isn't reasonable and testing your partner constantly may not yield the result you think you want.
When you're first together with your spouse, you might just "test" him...although that usually happens during the dating phase. Sometimes it's done intentionally to see if you can live with a certain trait, while other times, it's purely UNintentional. Some arguments can get heated but for me, the point was always, I want to know if this will work in the long run. I don't play games but I probably did a bit in the beginning...afterall, if we don't know any better, we sometimes do stupid things. But growing up is key and you stop those games (hopefully).
I think the question has been answered: there are a wide array of variables, depends on what each of you value, no one is usually "out for the count" forever, but most would say they believe they have a strong character to continue but understanding that this aspect is certainly important. Most can't conceive of NEVER having sex again...and the liklihood is low. Illnesses and other tragedies can't be accounted for so we only have the hope that we'd love our spouse regardless of handicap. Let's just say may we never have to deal with this...
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Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As Dew mentioned earlier, it's easy to talk about imaginary spouses. Come talk to us when you've been married for 10, 15, 20 years, and the person who means the most to you in this world, the one you've built a life with, made a home with, been through thick and thin with, had children with, gets sick.
