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Old 09-20-2014, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,140,939 times
Reputation: 3814

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Upon first sight, I thought, "Who is this big ugly guy that keeps bothering me? (We met the old fashioned way - randomly on the street.) 34...I think its 34 or 35 years later and we are still together.

Once on my teenage radar, I saw how he carried himself, and found that sexy. If nothing else, he was a man and acted like one. He always had a nice build, but under a mountain of longish wavy hair and full beard, Duck Dynasty-style (no headband, cap or ponytail though), who knew what he looked like? I got to know him and observe him. I learned he had a brain, and we had simular childhoods.

I dont think if my first impression was, "OMG! You are drop dead gorgeous! Lemme get these panties off right nao!" The process of learning to love him and how to be loved by him would have been much different. Looks will only get you so far in life afterall. I think what is sexiest of all with my man is how much I know he loves me.

Dont stress nothing. See him again if you like him or if you think he is worth your time. There must be something about him that spoke to you, or you wouldnt have made this thread.
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Old 09-21-2014, 03:08 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,679 posts, read 2,885,361 times
Reputation: 2162
yes.
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Old 09-21-2014, 03:31 PM
 
85 posts, read 120,982 times
Reputation: 133
Nope.

I have a guy friend who confessed that he had feelings for me around two years ago. I said that I didn't have any feelings for him. He then said I could learn to love him instead.

He weighs over three times as much as I do. He weighs over three hundred pounds. Still is to this day, actually. Other women may be attracted to his very large body fat, but I personally do not find obese men attractive.

We get along great, but I really don't think I could feel physically attracted to them later on if I wasn't physically attracted to them initially.
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Old 09-21-2014, 08:06 PM
 
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,056,852 times
Reputation: 2157
Quote:
Originally Posted by Humz View Post
Nope. [...] We get along great, but I really don't think I could feel physically attracted to them later on if I wasn't physically attracted to them initially.
Thank you for your honesty. Of course we all want to be able to say that appearance doesn't matter, because admitting that it does sounds shallow, but there has to be some sexual attraction in the beginning.

Of course, in the future, your partner may become disfigured or something, but you would still have image in your head o how they originally looked, and you know how you feel about what is inside, so that's different.

I'm sympathetic to your friend...he needs to lose weight though! If only for his own health.

I need to lose about 20 pounds...right now I'm 5'7" and 168, when I got out of the USN I weighed 135....I'm not obese by any stretch of the imagination though. But I know I would feel a lot better if I were 20 pounds lighter.
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Old 09-22-2014, 12:34 AM
 
85 posts, read 120,982 times
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You're welcome. It really does sound shallow, but... I'm 5 feet tall and barely 90 pounds. I don't even want to think about how on earth I could manage having sexy times with him. >.< He'd crush me with his weight, I'm sorry.
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Old 09-22-2014, 04:38 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,679 posts, read 2,885,361 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Humz View Post
He weighs over three times as much as I do. He weighs over three hundred pounds...
Kinda extreme. Sounds as if there was NO physical feature you deemed favorable to your taste, which is rare.

Usually, if someone isn't physically attractive to you, there is at least one physical feature and/or personality trait that's attractive that can bolster general love and possibly, possibly romantic love.

If you can find ONE favorable feature in a person, then that might be a problem. On many levels.
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Old 09-25-2014, 08:24 PM
 
34 posts, read 46,090 times
Reputation: 30
There have been men that I don't find physically attractive and later become madly attracted to them because of things as personality. There have been other men that no matter what, I couldn't get past the fact they were not my type. It depends if he's able to compensate with something else.

Now, bad breath is a different problem.
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Old 09-26-2014, 12:04 AM
 
Location: socal
630 posts, read 1,047,511 times
Reputation: 919
bad breath? Maybe change your title to can you LEARN to love someone you're repulsed by?? short answer..no. How bad is it out there that we have to start dating men who suffer from halitosis? I'd rather be a cat lady
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Old 09-26-2014, 10:26 AM
 
3,588 posts, read 5,717,319 times
Reputation: 4790
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
I dated a girl once that I wasn't very attracted to physically.. because she was nice. She was nice and everything, but she had her faults just like any other women. No one is perfect, not the ugly ones and not the pretty ones. I found myself always looking for someone a little hotter.

I'd never date someone who I felt was below my standards in looks anymore. I feel much better when I'm walking around with a pretty girl. Sue me
It's the same for women. My brother told me about this guy who is a long time family friend of ours...brother said, "Why don't you go out with ""? He worships the ground you walk on. ( the guy is not that attractive) Now, that would be more than enough for some women, to be with a guy they're not attracted to but he worships her.

Me? I think it would be BEYOND UNFAIR and morally wrong to date a man I'm not attracted to, who feels this way about me. It's leading him on. It's toying with his emotions. This is to be avoided at all costs! Doing these things amounts to extremely BAD JU-JU. I want NONE of it!

The price I have to pay for this position is temporary aloneness and sometimes being thought of as a cold b***. This doesn't bother me, because nothing could be further from the truth.

Women who do this with no conscience should be burned at the stake! When a man offers you his heart, it is such a very precious thing. You must take care not to inflict unnecessary pain.
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Old 09-26-2014, 10:35 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,132 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x View Post
Thank you for your honesty. Of course we all want to be able to say that appearance doesn't matter, because admitting that it does sounds shallow, but there has to be some sexual attraction in the beginning.
No, there doesn't. Did you read ConeyGirl's post? There are different kinds of attraction. People can be attracted to each other because of unusual interests they share, sharing an ethnic heritage and common experiences growing up, hitting it off intellectually or on an emotional level, and any combination of those and more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Betta Franka;
There have been men that I don't find physically attractive and later become madly attracted to them because of things as personality. There have been other men that no matter what, I couldn't get past the fact they were not my type. It depends if he's able to compensate with something else.
This, for example.
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