Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I mentioned this briefly in the other thread which is now locked, but find it an interesting point that in my experience most people have never considered, but soon agree that it makes sense. I believe I first got this from my friend who studies psychology but I'm not sure anymore.
For most men, love and sex and two completely different things. For most women, they aren't. And therein lies the great divide.
I think some women, especially women I know, ahem, easily make the distinction between the two. They enjoy casual sex just as much as most men do. But most women can't do this. For them, sex is always tied to emotions and feelings of love. Without those feelings, in many cases, hubby ain't gettin any. And this is what ends the sex life for many married couples. The man fails to meet the emotional needs of the woman, who in turn doesn't feel amorous, which in turn creates sexual distance from the horny husband who needs sex to feel close and service her emotional needs. And it becomes a vicious cycle.
I guess this is why women often fail to understand the fundamental drives that men have and the things we do. They cannot comprehend that sex doesn't necessarily have anything to do with love, and this is normal for a man. We are designed to spread our seed far and wide. That is our biological function and the reason we exist. We can modify our behavior, but this is our fundamental nature.
This may sound simple, but: it takes two to tango.
If you are not a good partner you risk getting dumped.
I'm not sure what you mean. Are you referring to the man, the woman, or both?
Part of this relates to things like porn, which now a surprising number of women watch, actually. But a lot of wives feel personally offended when they catch hubby with something, I think because they don't understand the distinction between love and sex. And I don't mean this is true of all women. But search the web for threads started by angry or horrified wives regarding porn. As a man, I'm thinking, "You've got to be kidding!". I find some of this almost unbelievable. Seriously, women must know by now that this is normal. But they seem to feel like a man doing the deed to porn is like cheating with another woman. And they are likewise hurt and betrayed.
I think that men relate to sex more on a physical level than women and that women relate to sex more on an emotional/feeling level than men. One of these emotions is love, but it is far from the only one.
I mentioned this briefly in the other thread which is now locked, but find it an interesting point that in my experience most people have never considered, but soon agree that it makes sense. I believe I first got this from my friend who studies psychology but I'm not sure anymore.
For most men, love and sex and two completely different things. For most women, they aren't. And therein lies the great divide.
I think some women, especially women I know, ahem, easily make the distinction between the two. They enjoy casual sex just as much as most men do. But most women can't do this. For them, sex is always tied to emotions and feelings of love. Without those feelings, in many cases, hubby ain't gettin any. And this is what ends the sex life for many married couples. The man fails to meet the emotional needs of the woman, who in turn doesn't feel amorous, which in turn creates sexual distance from the horny husband who needs sex to feel close and service her emotional needs. And it becomes a vicious cycle.
I guess this is why women often fail to understand the fundamental drives that men have and the things we do. They cannot comprehend that sex doesn't necessarily have anything to do with love, and this is normal for a man. We are designed to spread our seed far and wide. That is our biological function and the reason we exist. We can modify our behavior, but this is our fundamental nature.
At one time, the lack of sex in a relationship was the number one reason for divorce. Today, it's not listed at the top anymore because of the economy and the advent of "no-fault" divorce. Both partners would rather say "no-fault" than admit they haven't been getting any.
I mentioned this briefly in the other thread which is now locked, but find it an interesting point that in my experience most people have never considered, but soon agree that it makes sense. I believe I first got this from my friend who studies psychology but I'm not sure anymore.
For most men, love and sex and two completely different things. For most women, they aren't. And therein lies the great divide.
I think some women, especially women I know, ahem, easily make the distinction between the two. They enjoy casual sex just as much as most men do. But most women can't do this. For them, sex is always tied to emotions and feelings of love. Without those feelings, in many cases, hubby ain't gettin any. And this is what ends the sex life for many married couples. The man fails to meet the emotional needs of the woman, who in turn doesn't feel amorous, which in turn creates sexual distance from the horny husband who needs sex to feel close and service her emotional needs. And it becomes a vicious cycle.
I guess this is why women often fail to understand the fundamental drives that men have and the things we do. They cannot comprehend that sex doesn't necessarily have anything to do with love, and this is normal for a man. We are designed to spread our seed far and wide. That is our biological function and the reason we exist. We can modify our behavior, but this is our fundamental nature.
Not all women are like this. Unfortunately the ones who can appreciate no strings attached sex without emotional connections are labeled whores, sluts and the like.
This theoretically is how the difference manifests itself. A woman cannot be in a sexual relationship unless she feels an emotional connection. A man cannot feel an emotional connection unless he is having sex. It is a catch 22 in immature relationships.
Relationships built only on a sexual connection are often doomed. Sex and the act of sex often has little of nothing to do with deep caring love. In a deep caring loving relationship, where you both care about how the other person feels, sex can be a beautiful culmination of those feelings.
The one thing I would share w/ you OP...Your post speaks of "women" of glowing generalities. Until you figure out the only woman that matters is the woman that you love and care about you will be dividing your interests...No one wins in that scenario...least of all You.
Be focused, dedicated, caring and kind, all the rest will fall into proper perspective in a mutually supportive relationship. All the best.
Last edited by JanND; 02-13-2013 at 07:08 AM..
Reason: edit text
This may sound simple, but: it takes two to tango.
If you are not a good partner you risk getting dumped.
^^^This.
The OP goes back and forth between casual sex vs. sex between married couples. Those are two distinctly different groupings. A single person has no responsibilities to a casual partner/ONS whereas a married person has all encompassing responsibilities that extend farther than the bedroom. Sex may be a biological need but that doesn't trump or take over for every other function of a person in their relationship.
And I don't buy the premise that men need only sex to feel close to their wives. It may come as a surprise to some here, but sex isn't the only thing a man needs to bond with his wife. It's a healthy component of a relationship, but it's only one part, not the only part. If you have a healthy relationship outside the bedroom, odds are in your favour that you'll have a healthy relationship in the bedroom too.
I mentioned this briefly in the other thread which is now locked, but find it an interesting point that in my experience most people have never considered, but soon agree that it makes sense. I believe I first got this from my friend who studies psychology but I'm not sure anymore.
For most men, love and sex and two completely different things. For most women, they aren't. And therein lies the great divide.
I think some women, especially women I know, ahem, easily make the distinction between the two. They enjoy casual sex just as much as most men do. But most women can't do this. For them, sex is always tied to emotions and feelings of love. Without those feelings, in many cases, hubby ain't gettin any. And this is what ends the sex life for many married couples. The man fails to meet the emotional needs of the woman, who in turn doesn't feel amorous, which in turn creates sexual distance from the horny husband who needs sex to feel close and service her emotional needs. And it becomes a vicious cycle.
I guess this is why women often fail to understand the fundamental drives that men have and the things we do. They cannot comprehend that sex doesn't necessarily have anything to do with love, and this is normal for a man. We are designed to spread our seed far and wide. That is our biological function and the reason we exist. We can modify our behavior, but this is our fundamental nature.
I guess I'm weird then.
/shrug
I do think you're oversimplifying things, though. I don't believe the male and female camps are so neatly divided in that respect. If men could always easily keep emotion out of sex, you would not be in love with an escort.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
