Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
i text her and tell her to stay away from us. i tell her how shes fake and needy. i tell her that i never forgot how bad she treated me and all of a sudden it becomes a jerry springer show. if i didnt text her, it wouldve been oprah! lol
Here's the deal: You're not going to change her. All you're doing is wasting your time and energy.
Same goes for your husband. Wasn't he the one who disappeared with a neighbor and had his parents cover for him?
If you are that angry and miserable, I suggest seeing both a therapist and a divorce attorney. As for your husband's threats of killing himself if you leave, my hunch is that he's just trying to manipulate you into staying in an abusive relationship. But as a threat of suicide is never to be dismissed, you can always tell him that if he feels suicidal, you'll be happy to arrange for him to be admitted into the mental health ward of the local hospital.
Oh, and the next time he starts trying to take a bat to your possessions, or destroys your things, call the police then and there.
Unless, of course, you're waiting for him to take a bat to your head.
i guess so djuna, i acted in emotion. i was mad that my husband was going to see her and spend time with her during his vacation when he knows that we have alot of things going on around here that same time. it made me mad that he said he doesnt care about what needs to get done here that his mom needs him. he just saw her and her daughter lives near her, she doesnt need him! shes being spiteful as always.
the other thing was that he said he didnt call me and ask how i was doing because my grandpa has been dead for years and ill get over it. but this was his moms first anniversary without his father. he said this first, so the thing about vacation just felt like a kicking me when im down moment.
*my husband was waiting for a check in the mail but we had already left his parents house but the check was going to be mailed there. he said no problem, they can just mail it to us. well, i called up the mom and she told me that my husband told her that she can keep the money. that he wanted to make sure she got it instead of me. i said thats insane we really need the money send us the check and she said no can do that one of her friends cashed it for her at the bank. and she spent it all.
What the heck kind of bank cashes a check for a person who it's not made out for? Send me their address, please.
Why do you stay in a situation where you are miserable? Don't say it's for the kids. If you gave a rip about their emotional well-being, you'd remove yourself and THEM from it. Kids are intuitive and pick up on misery; they may not voice it, but they damn well feel it.
My experience with a mama's boy is this: You. Will. Not. Win.
lilac110, yep the downstairs neighbor thing was me!,, and he didnt have an actual bat in his hand, he was looking for one and said he was gonna smash the computer and everything else i have. he knows where we keep firearms and other weapons like bats and stuff, and he was looking in the wrong place. alot of times i dont know when hes being serious or intentionally extreme so i figure its safer to assume serious and extreme.
he never brought up suicide, all he said was that he would have nothing to live for. well yeah it doeskinda sound like a suicidal remark.. i spoke to his chain of command and they werent much help told him about the outburst and stuff and was just told that they will tell him not to do that again. he hasnt but still.. im gonna do the military family counselling myself then even though it somthing he should be attending with me.
pikake, when i told her that it wasnt her check to be cashed and that theres no way shes gonna be able to cash it, she said that the teller already did it for her because it was a friend from her neighborhood who knows that her son is a marine and gone alot. all the mom had to do was show her id and since it matched the same last name and address that it was mailed to they said it was ok. the mother knew we had no money and did that to be spiteful.
His commanding officers are STUPID!! In the Air force, they have briefings right after deployments and especially while a service member is going through a divorce and that's the branch least likely to have cases of PTSD. I don't know what to tell you about that. maybe gather the evidence you can find of his crazy behavior and ask to talk to his CO's in person and show them the proof. Your husband is nuts. also, I agree with everyone about the mama's boy thing and how you will never win. His mother should be in jail or at the very least, some kind of rehab center. although, I can see him always ditching you to visit her in rehab then...again...you'll never win.
mir86, that will never happen! she never admits to her wrong doings. and lets say if she went to rehab for being the nutwad she is, my husband would be trying to comfort her 24/7 lol my husband is promotable too so i guess they dont want to do anyting like send him to mandatory counselling or whatevr. im guessing that counselling can make him get flagged for promotions.
wmsn4life, its not that i want people to share their stories so that i personally feel better about my situation. i just want to see if theres anybody out there who has a mother in law or a father in law horror story. i feel like im the only one in the world dealing with this situation. husband makes me feel like im the only one that this bothers that normal people wouldnt react so negatively and unforgiving to his mom in the same situation. he says a normal person would take everything she says and does and let it go.
its like before i texted her i was livid with her for many years over the way she treated me and having to hold my tongue because hes my husband and he deserves respect. what respect does he deserve? when he said that thing about my grandpa it was like he was saying, too bad for u,mom comes first and get over ure grandfather already. now because i spoke up to her, its classless.
i know it wasnt the nicest thing to do, but after years of holding in and not being able to say anything it sure felt good to tell her what i think of her. my husband has not called her and she hasnt called him. im happy about that. i hope they never speak again. i told him that if she really cared about him, she would call him to see how he was doing. he just shrugs it off.
i cant believe that i didnt ask this in my original post, which was supposed to be the discussion topic but :
is it wrong of me to not want to forgive his mom? she did too many bad things over and over to get any of my forgiveness, husband said that i am evil and i have a dark soul for not forgiving her but really, is it so wrong not to?
i dont think so.
I read it like 2 people who rushed into a marriage and didn't assess all the problems that were around them.
I don't care how much you love a person, when one of there parents hate you so much they throw something that can physically harm you and she basically walks all over you while your SO stands there and watches, you don't marry that person.
when the mother asked my descent/nationality background and she learned that i was part irish, she screamed in disgust and walked out the door. he said pay no attention to her. i was like ok.
when she pushed me, he said dont do anything or say anything else to her, shes crazy. ok. i really thought she had some problems coping with him getting married,
the things she was saying about the ex and she wanted him with her and all that other stuff, he spoke to her about. i thought wow, nice he spoke up. and when she would tell me these things i would put her in her place in a very nice way. but i felt like it held more weight if my husband wouldve said something to her as well and when he did confront her about the ex gf and wedding stuff i was happy about it.
then the throwing of the dish nite, he spoke to her again. he told me he told her that he loved me and we were going to have children one day and if she keeps acting like this, she will never get to meet any of the grandkids. he told her to behave and one more thing and thats it.
well, i was happy again that he said something to her because when she threw it at me i was like wtf is your problem?! and she walked into her bedroom. i really wanted to scratch her eyes out.
well right after that talk he had with her she continued to do and say mean stuff intentionally to me. and we were married already. so its like he showed me a nice guy before we were married and then as soon as we are married, he throws all those threats against his mom out the window.
i really should not have married so quickly. i knew him from high school when my dad was stationed in cali but i didnt know his family and all that. looking back, i shouldve waited to see how the situation with his parents have been. its like once we were married my feelings went on the backburner. and his mom and dad were first place. no work was first parents secondme somewhere at the end of the list.
i think when u are dating someone or engaged they try to show u the best colors of themselves, its like once u marry them their true colors come out and gosh, its just awful.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Send me their address, please. 
