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Old 02-06-2014, 10:52 AM
 
1 posts, read 307 times
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I would say good sex is not without emotions -- although sometimes the emotions are more intense and loving and other times it is more like friendship and ****ing. People who have casual sex (successfully and repeatedly) manage their own expectations (and attempt to be open about what they want and don't want, so no one is deceived), about the temporary nature of what is happening. Sometimes they consider sex like play or a sport -- a physical need. Is it painful to want a repeat sexual experience with someone who does not reciprocate your feelings? -- yes, it is. Is it awkward having to let someone down gently when the opposite happens? -- yes it is. And I would also say it is harder to separate emotions and sex when you are younger and less experienced. And probably some people cannot have good casual sex successfully. (I am writing from my perspective as a woman who has had casual sex a lot.)
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Old 02-06-2014, 10:57 AM
 
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Absence of religion and weird moral hang ups about sex.
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Old 02-06-2014, 11:35 AM
 
930 posts, read 241,722 times
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I can't do that. That's why I was a 40 yr old virgin when I married. That's why our best sex so far was the make up sex after we ALMOST divorced.

Sex is not just flesh surface to me. It is beyond the core of my being.

So no I can't have sex without emotions. I am a human being with self respect not a robot or zombie.

Which reminds me..... walking dead is back this Sunday!!!! I looooove zombies. LOL
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Old 02-06-2014, 11:51 AM
 
15,561 posts, read 4,266,327 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
I wouldn't hook up with a stranger, but I have had a fwb in the past; No emotions necessary. Obviously I prefer to be with someone I care about, but I had needs.

In my experience, I don't see a fwb as mutually exclusive to caring about them but perhaps as a low-maintenance arrangement with friends you do care about. I couldn't fwb someone I didn't care about a lot.
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Old 02-06-2014, 12:20 PM
 
Location: So Cal
23,169 posts, read 16,756,637 times
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I've had sex without emotions in the past, but for the most part I don't generally go that route. I've been in a LTR for a long time now, but when I was single, it seemed like either one of us would develop some kind of attachment.

It's hard to be completely unattached, like I said, I remember one particular woman, she was nothing but just a straight out FWB, and that's all it ever was.
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Old 02-06-2014, 12:36 PM
 
1,419 posts, read 497,653 times
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Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I've had sex without emotions in the past, but for the most part I don't generally go that route. I've been in a LTR for a long time now, but when I was single, it seemed like either one of us would develop some kind of attachment.

It's hard to be completely unattached, like I said, I remember one particular woman, she was nothing but just a straight out FWB, and that's all it ever was.

The only way I see a true definition of an FWB working is that both people can sleep with whoever they want too, and they take that risk going in. I never had that desire, so if I slept with someone, we were only sleeping with each other. After a while they would get attached and I wouldn't. I got attached to one woman who was sleeping with 3 or 4 other guys I came to find out, and the sex was fun, but I wanted it to happen more often and she practically wanted a ONS.

An FWB is really hard to do outside of college years.
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Old 02-06-2014, 12:40 PM
 
4,158 posts, read 2,328,725 times
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The way I make it work is by not investing in the person I'm sleeping with.

AKA, if I don't want to have feelings, I don't want to know anything about that persons personal life.
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Old 02-07-2014, 10:51 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
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Emotions or not I don't give a crap. Why would I care? In the end all the emotions go away anyway so it doesn't matter.
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Old 02-07-2014, 11:16 PM
 
Location: Southern California
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I don't think love is mostly or even mainly an emotion; it's more complex & principled than an emotional high. And emotions involved with sex are more simplistic than love. Pleasurable MENTAL feeling is emotion, and most experience mental pleasure in addition to physical pleasure. That's why they say the brain is the biggest sex organ. So I don't think sex without love means emotionless sex, which is probably not what most are truly describing.

I'm personally not interested in sex without love because it's too intimate for someone I don't care about. I do think the emotional high sex usually gives is meant to "bond" people (since children can result), and I personally am not interested in learning to be detached. So it's a protection for me to not be casual in my attitude towards sex.

That said, once in the context of love & relationship, I don't think every instance of sex is about love or involves deep emotion, but can just be about fun with your partner. I think "meaningless" sex is better with someone who means something to you, if that makes sense.
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Old 02-07-2014, 11:26 PM
 
2,691 posts, read 2,318,300 times
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Originally Posted by ja1myn View Post
I'm not saying that you need to be in love with the person, but shouldn't you at least have some sort of friendly relationship with them/some type of trust before having sex with them?

Lust, desire, the thrill of the hunt, the satisfaction of getting what you want...Those are all very powerful emotions. Friendship not needed.
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