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I asked her a question about her workout...She replied that it worked better for her, but that a trainer would probably know better. I asked her if she was into powerlifting, to which she replied that she wasn't, but just liked lifting heavy and laughed a bit. I smiled, shook her hand, said my name and said nice to meet you. She also said nice to meet you to me, but didn't tell me her name.
Your approach was fine but judging from all the but's in your statements, I assume she's not into you.
I'm a dude but I think you did just fine. You made an (obvious) attempt to flirt and was completely polite and non-threatening, not to mention gentleman-like. That's really the best you can do sometimes -- sometimes they bite, sometimes they don't. I don't personally know of a better way to introduce yourself to a complete stranger who you'll probably never see again but want to AT LEAST see if she's interested. That's tough stuff!!
P.S. Sometimes, when you know you'll see a person again, it's okay to "plant a seed" and see how it grows. Meaning, go ahead and introduce yourself and make your presence known SLOWLY, and without going full-boar all at once. If you plant your seeds all around and let relationships blossom where there is fertile ground and perish where there isn't, you'll eventually have many options instead of always trying to hit that proverbial "home run". It works in business and networking, and it works in relationships. I need to follow my own advice and plant more seeds! The best part is that it's completely harmless and you don't ever look like a fool trying to be friendly to somebody!!
The scene: earlier today at the gym: Yes, I know the gym is a very polarizing place when it comes to men meeting women, but it's a bit of a conundrum for me. It's been awhile since I posted here, but I am heavily into weight training and am now into boxing, and I am highly, highly, HIGHLY attracted to women with muscle and women who can lift heavy. So ideally, I am attracted to the woman who is lifting hard and not the woman who goes to the gym dolled up and wearing heavy makeup.
So I'm in the middle of my workout, in the free weights section, and I notice this woman lifting quite heavily. She was doing some heavy shoulder presses, curls and skull crushers (I rarely see women lift as heavy as she was.) I was still working out hard, but I waited until she was resting between a set and when I was done with mine and had to walk past her anyway in order to get to my next exercise. She was not wearing headphones. I asked her a question about her workout; she was using an incline bench instead of a "chair" bench to do shoulder presses, and I wanted to know if that worked out her shoulders better than just using the "chair" bench like what I normally do. She replied that it worked better for her, but that a trainer would probably know better. I asked her if she was into powerlifting, to which she replied that she wasn't, but just liked lifting heavy and laughed a bit. I smiled, shook her hand, said my name and said nice to meet you. She also said nice to meet you to me, but didn't tell me her name. I then walked off and finished my workout.
What do you think ladies? Was that a good first approach?
That interaction feels very platonic to me. Especially the "shook her hand" part.
hey, it was simple and innocent, just say HI to her next time you get a chance, and nothing more- you tipped your hat, if she wants anymore attention, she will let you know-
ak,,,could be right- you caught her completely off-guard, so she clammed up- some woman dont feel so womanly at the gym- all sweaty - working out frustrations, in a work out zone,,nothing else
also, someone else was correct in saying,,it's a higly public place with many eyeballs- if she smiled at you, she might think she's inviting every other guy in the place to approach her, and she doesnt want that..
I remember bumping into an old classmate i havent seen in yrs, and I gave her a hug at the gym- she was fine with that, I said she is looking good - she rolled her eyes and said- omg im all sweaty, have b.o. my hair is a mess, i look like hell
if a woman is working out hard- she doesnt want to be approached, also keep in mind, a gym is a tough place for a lady- some woman wont go to gym's because of the spandex queens...
The scene: earlier today at the gym: Yes, I know the gym is a very polarizing place when it comes to men meeting women, but it's a bit of a conundrum for me. It's been awhile since I posted here, but I am heavily into weight training and am now into boxing, and I am highly, highly, HIGHLY attracted to women with muscle and women who can lift heavy. So ideally, I am attracted to the woman who is lifting hard and not the woman who goes to the gym dolled up and wearing heavy makeup.
So I'm in the middle of my workout, in the free weights section, and I notice this woman lifting quite heavily. She was doing some heavy shoulder presses, curls and skull crushers (I rarely see women lift as heavy as she was.) I was still working out hard, but I waited until she was resting between a set and when I was done with mine and had to walk past her anyway in order to get to my next exercise. She was not wearing headphones. I asked her a question about her workout; she was using an incline bench instead of a "chair" bench to do shoulder presses, and I wanted to know if that worked out her shoulders better than just using the "chair" bench like what I normally do. She replied that it worked better for her, but that a trainer would probably know better. I asked her if she was into powerlifting, to which she replied that she wasn't, but just liked lifting heavy and laughed a bit. I smiled, shook her hand, said my name and said nice to meet you. She also said nice to meet you to me, but didn't tell me her name. I then walked off and finished my workout.
What do you think ladies? Was that a good first approach?
Your first approach to this lady was ok..coming on strong for most ladies is a huge turn off no matter if it is in the gym or the library..it is annoying as hell to have a guy be pushing too hard. I would wait a bit before I talked with her again or simply a good morning would be good.
Be sure she is single, wants to talk to guys, doesn't already have a partner....all the usual stuff. Good job so far! I know you prefer the weight lifting ladies but you should also expand your horizons and perhaps go for a jog or walk the local track outside..lots of women walking the track or jogging.
The scene: earlier today at the gym: Yes, I know the gym is a very polarizing place when it comes to men meeting women, but it's a bit of a conundrum for me. It's been awhile since I posted here, but I am heavily into weight training and am now into boxing, and I am highly, highly, HIGHLY attracted to women with muscle and women who can lift heavy. So ideally, I am attracted to the woman who is lifting hard and not the woman who goes to the gym dolled up and wearing heavy makeup.
So I'm in the middle of my workout, in the free weights section, and I notice this woman lifting quite heavily. She was doing some heavy shoulder presses, curls and skull crushers (I rarely see women lift as heavy as she was.) I was still working out hard, but I waited until she was resting between a set and when I was done with mine and had to walk past her anyway in order to get to my next exercise. She was not wearing headphones. I asked her a question about her workout; she was using an incline bench instead of a "chair" bench to do shoulder presses, and I wanted to know if that worked out her shoulders better than just using the "chair" bench like what I normally do. She replied that it worked better for her, but that a trainer would probably know better. I asked her if she was into powerlifting, to which she replied that she wasn't, but just liked lifting heavy and laughed a bit. I smiled, shook her hand, said my name and said nice to meet you. She also said nice to meet you to me, but didn't tell me her name. I then walked off and finished my workout.
What do you think ladies? Was that a good first approach?
I agree with others that, perhaps, the timing was less-than-ideal and there's circumstantial evidence that she's not interested but nothing definitive.
You talked to her for, what, all of 42 seconds? I don't like the 'She's not interested. Move on' after < 1 minutes worth of exposure. If she's this fitness-oriented, she's very focused during her workouts. While she may not have been upset with you for 'interrupting' her, she's not using the gym as a social outlet.
Next time you see her, speak to her briefly if it seems like she wouldn't mind and ask for her name. Keep it casual and go from there. After a few chats, you should have a better sense of where you stand.
If you want to get to know her, then you should take (reasonable) steps towards getting to know her so long as it's not disruptive, etc. I really don't like the game of 'If she were interested, she would have done XYZ. [Since she didn't, give up completely].' She may not have been interested upfront, but she maybe amenable to further conversation, after which she decides she would (or would not) like to get to know you better. Women (generally) aren't going to come to you, so it's going to take some initiation. They're also (generally) not going to show too much interest too soon. If they show 'interest' very quickly, it just means they think you're handsome as there's not enough time to build a connection. It takes more than 42 seconds to gauge compatibility (assuming they're not repulsed by your appearance).
Your first approach to this lady was ok..coming on strong for most ladies is a huge turn off no matter if it is in the gym or the library..it is annoying as hell to have a guy be pushing too hard. I would wait a bit before I talked with her again or simply a good morning would be good.
Be sure she is single, wants to talk to guys, doesn't already have a partner....all the usual stuff. Good job so far! I know you prefer the weight lifting ladies but you should also expand your horizons and perhaps go for a jog or walk the local track outside..lots of women walking the track or jogging.
Good Luck!
How was this guy coming on too strong? He asked a few questions about working out at a gym and made a simple introduction.
What do you think ladies? Was that a good first approach?
Your approach was perfectly fine and it's nice that some men are brave enough to do things like that. I think she just wasn't into you. But who cares, keep on trying...
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