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Old 03-07-2013, 01:34 PM
 
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I'm pretty romantic, my husband isn't. We make it work. I don't get upset when he asks me to pick out my own birthday present and he puts reminders on his calendar to buy me flowers every couple months "on a whim."

I've also learned that showing someone you love them isn't always a matter of romance, I guess that comes with age. We have a great marriage.
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Old 03-07-2013, 01:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Frihed89 View Post
Don't give up. The effect can be latent and with long lags and often hardly visible, even then, but that doesn't mean it isn't working. Of course, it depends on what you mean by romantic, but most women will react positively to a man who is devoted, loyal, steady in his affection, and who, most of all makes his partner feel loved and safe. Many women have never experienced this before and so it takes time for them to figure out if it's real or just another trick.
What a shame.
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Old 03-07-2013, 02:29 PM
 
Location: IN A COOKIE JAR
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Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
A man with few words does not mean he is not romantic. You need to figure out what do you want in a relationship and what YOU would consider to be romantic.

I've dated a man who would give me red roses everyday for two weeks straight when we first went out, but he did not realize roses are not my flower. I dont consider that romantic at all.

I also dated a man who makes sure I always have a full tank of gas in the car, he is a man with very few words, but his kindness always touches my heart. I consider him to be very romantic.

However, if you are the hopeless romantic, and your partner is not very affectionate, it will be hard to develop deeper bond. Perhaps not a match made in heaven, in my opinion.
I agree with lilyflower's post. She makes some great points. Roses, sweet cooing words or dancing the tango after dinner, etc. are not the only ways a man can show his love for you. Washing your car, taking it to the mechanic, putting gas in it are other ways men like to show their affection. You have to open to his way of showing his love for you, and appreciate these things.

One poster mentioned the book The Five Languages of Love and it is a book that will open your eyes and I beg of you to read it and then have him read it. Then you can discuss how each of you wants to be shown affection. Just remember it does change from time to time. You may not see hand holding as your top priority two years from now; you might prefer that he fix the breaks on your car instead as his sign of his love for you. If you truly love this man you'll have to accept that he might forget that you prefer words of affirmation as your love language from time to time. But as long as he tries, it's all good. You will also learn how he likes to be shown love. My husband likes small gifts as a sign of my love. I forget all too often and he just has to see my acts of service; i.e. doing his laundry, making his meals, etc., my words of affirmation and touch, as being a sign of my affection. When we got married my preferred love language was quality time with him. Now I get excited to have a few hours to myself from time to time. Your love language will change over the years so the both of you need to keep that in mind. Every few years you can both do the test in the book again so you both know how to show love to the other one. This book is also good for parents or folks thinking about having children soon. Kids have different ways of showing their love to their parents and also how they want to be shown love from their parents.

Anyway, I am a romantic too, though not a hopeless one - I don't need knights in shiny armor racing to my rescue from day to day but I do need both words of affirmation and physical signs of love. My husband doesn't say much but, a whistle when I come out of the shower at night does the trick for me. My husband grew up in a family that rarely showed affection to each other so I know it is hard for him to change. Some women are the same way - they don't understand that they sometimes have to show love with touch or words.

Therefore, I think you two can live happily ever after, you just need to learn how to show each other love in the language the other can understand.

HOWEVER, if he refuses to read the book or care about how you like to be shown love than OH GIRLFRIEND, YOU BEST GET YOUR BATOOTY AWAY FROM HIM AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE!
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