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Old 03-03-2013, 01:18 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
61 posts, read 113,878 times
Reputation: 53

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Well..a couple of weeks ago I attended a family wedding and at the party some of us joined and started discussing about relationships and sex....the thing is that I am completely inexperienced with women and a good friend of mine that is aware of this fact, after putting down a couple of shots made my delicate situation public and announced to our small group of about 17 souls that I had and quote " never seen a woman's bare breast or felt the warm touch of a lady's lips against mine"...now of course that statement is partially false...I have watched porn along with Cinemax and HBO and am aware of what a woman's bare breast looks like....the thing is that after his reveling announcement...I had to somewhat explain my lack of intimacy with the opposite sex to the 17 surprised folks....I had no idea of what to say other than that always helpful cliche..." it just never happened"....after that I felt like a croc among alligators...


Between the ages of 16 and 21 I did ask a lot of women out...but I eventually got tired and started paying more attention to other aspects of my life....so it's been over 3 years that I don't approach any girl..and never once a woman approached me with any romantic interest...sometimes I feel very lonely but it's manageable.....so my question to you is:


Does the void inside gets bigger as time passes?

At my age ( 24 to 25) and after the " time off" feels very difficult to get back on the saddle and start approaching again..it's like women ( at least my age) have a preference for experience..

if questioned again about my personal sex life...should I be honest or make up anything believable that comes to mind?



Thanks for your time and apologies for the long boring story!..
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Old 03-03-2013, 01:47 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,361,353 times
Reputation: 11862
I'm in a similar situation to you. I've dated, but never had a girlfriend, and although am no longer a virgin, THAT story is not one I think I'll be shouting from the roof-tops. I'm 27, which makes it even worse but I sort of have a legitimate excuse, which is my mental illness (extreme anxiety and OCD) which actually does make functioning hard, let alone. I'm also borderline Asperger's, which is probably part of the reason I didn't date in high school.

I wouldn't say the void gets 'bigger', I mean I'm as fresh as I was when I was 13 really, I wouldn't let it hold you back or anything. I wouldn't recommend lying about it, but I can understand if you would. Any girl worth her salt is gonna give you a chance. I mean everyone has to start somewhere, right?

Don't let it be a monkey on your back and try not to think about it and hamper your confidence.
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Old 03-03-2013, 07:39 AM
 
5,385 posts, read 6,525,293 times
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Sorry OP, as I wish I had a better answer as to your question about how to address the question your family members posed to you....also very sorry to hear that you are feeling so lonely atm, in the romantic sense I can relate to and sympathize with your siutation. I didn't have a g/f until I was 31, FWIW, and family members and friends sometimes even thought I was "gay" or asexual, as a result of that (neither of which were true).

2 possible ideas that come to mind for me, that might hopefully be a lil helpful perhaps for you in your case?

(1) Since you mentioned that your current age bracket is 24-25, you are still definitely within the age bracket where you can romantically pursue younger women (i.e., 18-21 years old). The only reason that I am bringing this up is b/c it is possible that they will be more understanding and more accepting and open-minded of your personal situation, and potentially more willing to give you a fair chance at their hearts

(2) Your C-D profile mentions that you are a musician -- this is very likely something you can definitely use as an advantage, in your favor, as many women naturally love and are attracted musicians, or so I'm told! (Maybe you could win a gal's heart, by writing something like a love song meant especially just for her, and singing it to her? )
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Old 03-03-2013, 07:46 AM
 
92 posts, read 84,670 times
Reputation: 93
If it happens again just "LOL!!!", lean your head forwrd a little "smh" and un-pressingly make it seam like how ever said it is a loose drunk that belongs in the crazy house.
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Old 03-03-2013, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,254 posts, read 20,087,069 times
Reputation: 12989
Quote:
Originally Posted by hyperion88 View Post


if questioned again about my personal sex life...should I be honest or make up anything believable that comes to mind?


Political correct answer is always "honesty is the best policy".
You are not too old by the way. So it really doesn't matter what you say, I don't think people would consider you as abnormal. Some dudes are late bloomers, nothing wrong with it. Plus, a lot of women would find men with standard to be appealing. Don't worry about what others think.

However, I know a 47 year old virgin. He's just odd. If you are that age and still a virgin (NOT by choice) there are definitely something wrong with you.

Last edited by lilyflower3191981; 03-03-2013 at 09:09 AM..
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Old 03-03-2013, 10:59 AM
 
634 posts, read 604,175 times
Reputation: 394
Does the void inside gets bigger as time passes?

Yes. That's why I'm married now. I am a loner. Happiest when I'm alone. Actually even prepared myself to the inevitability that I would die a virgin without having experienced to love and be loved. I can't explain it but I guess I finally got bored being by myself finally, LOL. So I decided to try online dating sites. I am shy and kind of a hermit, so it's the ONLY way for me to meet guys.

But you're still young. Just live your life and start dating. Nothing into it really. At least in my part, online dating made it easy on me going out on dates. I don't let 1st time only meets (and I had a LOT!) discourage me in finding the guy for me

Took 2-3 yrs dabbling on dating sites for me to find my husband but it's worth it. Hope we last.
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Old 03-03-2013, 11:05 AM
 
223 posts, read 169,023 times
Reputation: 442
Nice frenemy you got there.

If you ever wish to not answer an uncomfortable question, ask the person "why do you want to know?"

In cases like yours, it then makes the person asking look prying, bad mannered and mean.
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Old 03-03-2013, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,293 posts, read 12,790,963 times
Reputation: 6636
Quote:
Originally Posted by hyperion88 View Post
if questioned again about my personal sex life...should I be honest or make up anything believable that comes to mind?
I'm a big fan of the truth

So, I'd go with that.

Maybe the truth is the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Or maybe the truth is "I don't really want to talk about it".

But, yeah, the truth is almost always best
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Old 03-03-2013, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Gotham
1,515 posts, read 1,765,909 times
Reputation: 1890
This is why someone should really take careful consideration to what you share with others because once you tell even 1 person, it's pretty much out of your control. I've never dated either and I don't get asked why. I feel no reason to share these aspects of my life with others because it's really none of their business. And if you get asked about your sex life, simply tell them it's none of their business.
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Old 03-03-2013, 11:41 AM
 
1,765 posts, read 2,443,579 times
Reputation: 1536
No...I don't think the void gets bigger. I didn't date ANYONE until I met my boyfriend simply because I wasn't all that attracted to someone enough to want to date them. Even after he and I broke up, to this day, the only man I've ever really been attracted to on that level enough to want to be with, is him. Fortunately, he was rather the same way. I tried forcing it with some others during our time apart but I was lying to myself. Just how it is.

I don't think everyone needs to be in a relationship or serial date. Some people don't date their first partner til their 30s. If you have social skills and interests and you're just a cool person to be with, that right person will come along and it'll feel right as rain...
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