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1. Pick up a copy of a men's fashion mag. Scale what you see there back a couple of notches and you're in the zone. After all, you don't want to be ridiculous either.
2. Take care of yourself physically. No, you don't have to spent two hours at the gym. No, you don't need to have a six pack. Just freaking look as if you don't feast on Doritos every night.
3. Actually be an interesting person. That means turning off the idiot box at night and doing some things outside the box. Take a cooking class. Read books that you normally wouldn't. Watch a performance that you normally wouldn't. Again, you don't have to be some showy, pretentious guy who blathers on about Camus or listens exclusively to Serbo-Turkish electronic pop, but be able to talk about something besides what was on ESPN last night. Because about the time most men turn 30, they are apparently taken into a government facility and lobotomized. That's the only explanation as to why most guys are terrific bores by the time they hit their mid-30s.
4. Stop looking at women as if they were fertility goddesses and start treating them as if they were living breathing human beings. Oh, hell yeah, if you see a woman who rocks your world from across the room then go talk her up by all means. But then just TALK to her. See if she's funny. See if she thinks you're funny. See if there's any chemistry at all. If there's not, or the conversation is flagging, just politely tell her that you've enjoyed the conversation and move on. That is a lot better than hanging on for dear life, hoping that she will suddenly change her mind and scream, "Take me home now and ruin me for all other men forever."
5. All women, no matter who they are, will test your mettle. They will want to know if you'll put up with their bullish*t. Now, this is a radical concept to a lot of guys (Because they fall prey to item #4), but the key is to not put up with their bullish*t. Don't lose your cool. In fact, be gentlemanly about it. But let it be understood that you are as deserving of her respect as she is of yours. And if she can't handle this fact, then you just need to move on.
6. You do not need a woman to be a complete person. Tell yourself that every day. Because to think otherwise is to be desperate, and women can smell desperation a mile away.
All you can do is null, null is what you do. She chooses, you decide. She wants, you need. You know nothing, you are nothing. You see, and if you do, you don't look. You sense, and if you do, you don't feel. It's all the same...the game...just go out and play. It's the only way, really, I've studied the alternatives, all in vain. This plane? I worked for it...it's why I got it and you didn't. The truth hurts, the world is a playground of sin, still, to your death you must win. Your chances, if increased, still null, so just speak...you dig?
Get yourself a cardboard sign that reads...will work for a girlfriend, then find a busy intersection/corner downtown and hang out for a bit. Don't be afraid to smile and wave.
All you can do is null, null is what you do. She chooses, you decide. She wants, you need. You know nothing, you are nothing. You see, and if you do, you don't look. You sense, and if you do, you don't feel. It's all the same...the game...just go out and play. It's the only way, really, I've studied the alternatives, all in vain. This plane? I worked for it...it's why I got it and you didn't. The truth hurts, the world is a playground of sin, still, to your death you must win. Your chances, if increased, still null, so just speak...you dig?
Words are my shovel...
Wellllllllllll. No. Women are not these mystical, capricious beings who choose the men in their lives for completely inexplicable reasons. To be sure, a lot of it has to do with chemistry and whatever other je nais se quoi there is when you lock eyes at a party for the first time. But they want to be with guys who respect themselves.
But before a guy can even get to that point, he has to not look like a complete schlub, a nebbish who stays at home on Saturday nights painting his Dungeons and Dragons figurines. He has to be worth a conversation in the first place.
If mean, if the guy dresses as if he's wearing an old Pantera t-shirt or the first six pages of an L.L. Bean catalog from 1994, breaks out into a sweat just walking to his mailbox, and gets a decent haircut...well...never, then he won't even be considered. If he clings to her as if she were the last can of beans in a post-apocalyptic world, or can't even indulge in decent small talk, then the guy doesn't even make the preliminaries, let alone the lightning round.
In truth, the same thing can be said for the women who complain about men ignoring them all the time. Hey, you don't have to look like a cover girl (I dated one of those. Sweet, but ultimately boring) to get a guy's attention. But you need to at least care about the face you present to the world if you want the world to at least notice you.
There are a lot of embittered permanent bachelors on this forum who think women are mystical beings, when in truth they are not. Respect yourself, and the world will respect you in return.
I like how all this advice is to totally change the person you are. Whatever happened to "just be yourself"? Bunch of crap.
"Just be yourself" isn't worth a damn as far as advice goes, particularly when your redeeming qualities are few and far between. If you're boring, flabby, unkempt, work the graveyard shift at Burger King, and have dubious hygiene, then being yourself just won't cut it. If you are that person, you need to be someone utterly different.
The better advice comes from the poet Ovid: "To be loved, you must first be lovable."
This is sarcasm, right? Women don't care about 6-packs. Younger women generally care that a guy is not fat. The norm in the 20's and early 30's is slim, more or less, and unless you're inactive and sitting in front of the computer or TV all day, you should be able to maintain that look naturally. Most people do. I wouldn't worry about the gym. The two points you listed in your OP are the most important.
Eat healthy. Eat salads and veggies along with your meals, don't eat fast food.
I like how all this advice is to totally change the person you are. Whatever happened to "just be yourself"? Bunch of crap.
If being yourself isn't working over a long period of time, obviously one has to change. Adapt or die, sink or swim, eat the vegemite or don't, and all that jazz.
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