Women in their 50s and dating (loyalty, 2014, personal, issues)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
How about you actually read my post, in which I said his snoring WOKE ME UP?
But by all means, continue to presume you know what went on in my marriage. Your inaccurate assumptions are a good demonstration of how ignorance and presumptuousness often go hand in hand.
Does this mean if I send a friend request I'm going to get denied? lol
Sleep ties in deeply with my work. I'm required to constantly gauge the level of my mens performance and watch for a point where their awareness falls off to a dangerous level. I'm moderately well read on the subject of sleep and have to take recurring training on sleep deprivation and exhaustion annually. This is to say nothing of real world experience with sleep deprivation and exhaustion that is very very extensive, in depth, and of long duration. Its just possible I might know a little more about sleep than you think. Regardless my post was just a friendly word about something I find interesting and many people don't seem to know, much of what a good nights sleep is lies in the belief that one was had.
You know where I learned that little trick I described? When I was brought up (when you move up from the deck its called being brought up) my captain told me when he gave me the boat. He laughed so hard I thought he might break something looking at my face filled with the realization that I had been had. He in turn learned it from his captain when he was brought up. I don't actually know when that started but on boats going all the way back to the sailing days the captain has always owned the clocks and I suspect shenanigans with time have probably been going on for a long long time. Nowadays thats over, everyone and their brother has a smartphone and/or other devices and most commercial boats outside of the smallest possess satellite data connections. There is no manipulating the time anymore. Something thats vaguely makes me sad because its part of a simpler time which most of us up here miss.
As to you Lilac you can choose to believe that I'm so offensively stupid I believe I know what happened in someone elses bedroom or you can choose to believe that I was talking about the fact that sleep and how good or bad it was often just depends on how good or bad someone thinks it was. Your choice girl but before I let you go IMO if you want to see presumption, look in a mirror.
The thing about adult children....it's not usually a problem with bio-parents, just when a new guy/gal get's introduced into the picture. The child/parent relationship isn't something you can usually change late in life, especially if a person was in a long term relationship with the other bio-parent and raised their children up in a specific way. Some families do live all together under one roof, some get out ASAP and see each other on Holidays. There is no right or wrong, it's just preferences. It's just one more thing to add to the list of what you don't want in someone; no smokers, no dogs, no NASCAR, no country music, etc. Of course that list will vary by person
Really I'm 53 have been divorced for 8 years and love my independence. Do I like the time I spend with my guy. Indeed. Does he or anyone ever come above my kids. Even when I'm 100 and their 70?? Probably not. You guys better learn what a child means to a mother. I go weeks and not see my kids. But .. If they needed to move back in - always. Same for his kids too
There is a line. Kids that need help due to a health issue, job loss, divorce etc. may need help from a parent and I support that. But in my case the oldest son and his wife moved in because their 1BR was too small. They should have gotten another larger apt right away instead of moving in with mom for 6 mos. I understood the law school grad moving in the 1st time, but the 2nd time was due to him not lining up another apt before his lease ran out, so mom's house became the temporary quarters. That's when I got booted. Won't happen again."
By solipsistically convincing themselves that they are "over relationships", it eases the pain that they are pretty much done for in the dating world after 50. It is a manifestation of denial, an convenient deflecting opiate that they ossified in their rigid minds afraid of dealing with the jarring cognitive dissonance of pain.
What a sharp contrast to when they were in their twenties and they were rude to everybody and believed that they were so superior that men had to PAY for them as if the women were "superior" (while subsequently claiming male oppression) and men had to "pay" becuase that's "how just things are".
Here's the deal.
Outside of your own immediate family, life is all about exploitation and leverage, just exercised in different ways depending on various factors (for men, intelligence and business prowess, for women, youth and beauty, by and large).
Humans didn't evolve from dust from the nebulas without exploitation and maximizing the situation in the harsh elements of the vast universe.
Laughing here at the words of the 42-yo poster who is repulsed by 50-yo men.... 'Cause I met my SO when he was 55 and we started having babies like rabbits... (well, made 2 of them).
Not sure how I'd feel when/if I am single ... At first, need to raise those kids and by then I'll be into my 60s.... We can't predict how we'll feel 10 years ahead.... Similarly, I don't know how it feels to be a grandma - even as the OP's ex-gf is a grandma at approx. my age... Am feeling more like a young mother now - but I would imagine having produced 2 generations would make you feel aged and therefore more sensitive to the question of age; and make you more sensitive to pairing with someone who could potentially alter the well-being (or expectations) of your kids/grandkids. I could see women who are more easy-going by temperament, laid-back or childless as more willing to travel, act on a whim, feeling freer, revel in their new love etc.
I understood the law school grad moving in the 1st time, but the 2nd time was due to him not lining up another apt before his lease ran out, so mom's house became the temporary quarters. That's when I got booted. Won't happen again."
Ah! This sounds as the real reason for the break-up, not the "age" or "other women". Did you try to tell her about your views of "the line"?
By solipsistically convincing themselves that they are "over relationships", it eases the pain that they are pretty much done for in the dating world after 50. It is a manifestation of denial, an convenient deflecting opiate that they ossified in their rigid minds afraid of dealing with the jarring cognitive dissonance of pain.
What a sharp contrast to when they were in their twenties and they were rude to everybody and believed that they were so superior that men had to PAY for them as if the women were "superior" (while subsequently claiming male oppression) and men had to "pay" becuase that's "how just things are".
Here's the deal.
Outside of your own immediate family, life is all about exploitation and leverage, just exercised in different ways depending on various factors (for men, intelligence and business prowess, for women, youth and beauty, by and large).
Humans didn't evolve from dust from the nebulas without exploitation and maximizing the situation in the harsh elements of the vast universe.
Ah! This sounds as the real reason for the break-up, not the "age" or "other women". Did you try to tell her about your views of "the line"?
She's finally speaking after 2 mos. and wants to remain friends ... Whatever. I brought up the family and she says no way that was the reason for her breaking up. She insists that the cause was my remarks about younger women and that I didn't "lust" for her. I'm hard pressed to recall many discussions in the last 2 years where I discussed women and their attractiveness other than when she brought it up (one of her phrases was "get your girl on" when observing an attractive woman ... She could do that but not me. So I did a little research (on the Internet for what it's worth) regarding the desire for lust in 50+ women. It's apparently not uncommon and if they don't get it from their SO then it's bye bye. So it is. I tried many times, all unsuccessfully, to reunite. So now am dating a woman in her 40's. See how that goes. She says she will seek what she's looking for (a lustful man that never talks about other women). I'm not sure her chances for an LTR are that good but maybe that's not what she wants ...
By solipsistically convincing themselves that they are "over relationships", it eases the pain that they are pretty much done for in the dating world after 50. It is a manifestation of denial, an convenient deflecting opiate that they ossified in their rigid minds afraid of dealing with the jarring cognitive dissonance of pain.
What a sharp contrast to when they were in their twenties and they were rude to everybody and believed that they were so superior that men had to PAY for them as if the women were "superior" (while subsequently claiming male oppression) and men had to "pay" becuase that's "how just things are".
Here's the deal.
Outside of your own immediate family, life is all about exploitation and leverage, just exercised in different ways depending on various factors (for men, intelligence and business prowess, for women, youth and beauty, by and large).
Humans didn't evolve from dust from the nebulas without exploitation and maximizing the situation in the harsh elements of the vast universe.
Awww... You're sweet... A true romantic!
There once was a man, so jaded, so disappointed, who lived in a world where everything was about control, leverage and manipulation. It was a competitive, selfish world with every one out for only themselves, everyone seeking to exploit another for their own power and status.
They were after their trip to the top of the chair lift, not just to chairlift040 - but to the golden gondola of life. Sometimes they paired up to leverage combined power, sometimes the power was created unwittingly only by their pairing. There were also those content to not take the ride at all, they sat on the deck, sharing moments, while others fought to rise to the top of the mountain.
And as some undoubtedly tumbled down over the moguls placed in their way, they sought rescue from their circle. For those with superficial connections, they have a jarring dissonance of pain when they realize what they could not achieve - a deeper, life-supporting connection to another. That humans perhaps evolved from dust with desires to connect spiritually with one another, to show deep empathy and love that goes beyond the bounds of simplistic superficiality. To fight against the harsh elements together. The examples are all around us.
So I did a little research (on the Internet for what it's worth) regarding the desire for lust in 50+ women. It's apparently not uncommon and if they don't get it from their SO then it's bye bye.
WTH? Seriously? This is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. Some anecdotal whining from some insecure people on the internet, and now we have a new phenomenon? This is me, rolling my eyes -->
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.