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Old 03-08-2013, 10:58 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,744,602 times
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The reality is that they are remaining, and ARE in fact...SINGLE!!!---> if/when they can't hold a relationship together for very long-- and bounce from one person to another!
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Old 03-08-2013, 11:18 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,633 posts, read 64,111,757 times
Reputation: 68371
These sound like women who use men as teddy bears.
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Old 03-08-2013, 11:20 AM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
17,413 posts, read 18,272,289 times
Reputation: 18588
I think that everyone prety much covered all of the reasons...

1) afraid to be alone
2) insecure
3) low self esteem and lack of self worth
4) low standards
5) need a man to feel validated
6) drama-filled lives
7) perpetual cycle of using sex to buy love

I have a friend from college who brags about always having a man. However, she has had a steady series of men who have taken advantage of her financially.

She co-signed on a $35k BMW for one guy who stopped making payments after the first year and then totaled the car (and did not have proper insurance coverage). She still had to pay off the car loan for a totaled car. She became engaged to another guy who she was in a long distance relationship with and added him as an authorized user to ALL of her credit accounts. That guy proceeded to open additional accounts in her name and would fly into town to see her every other weekend...using her credit cards. And showered her with expensive gifts...that he paid for with her credit cards. They were planning and spent tons of money on a lavish destination wedding and that he cancelled behind her back. She didn't find out that he had cancelled some of the wedding vendors and pocketed the deposit money until she called one of the vendors by chance. She quit her job and moved across country to be with another guy who broke up with her two weeks later. And on and on...but she still always has a man.
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Old 03-08-2013, 11:35 AM
 
1,841 posts, read 2,390,696 times
Reputation: 1098
I am single now for the first time in 25 years! Have been for a year. It's very strange. Anyways, I don't wish to be single. I don't have to be, I do actually have someone who wants to be with me. But I'm just really lazy about the whole thing. I think there is a stigma attached to women in our society that are single. I guess I don't care that much or I'd get together with this guy who I'm pretty sure wants me to be his girlfriend. I was one of those girls, you OP, speak of in your post. A lot of overlapping going on, usually just by circumstance, though, not my "master plan" or anything. Having a man is nothing to brag about.
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Old 03-08-2013, 12:53 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,633 posts, read 64,111,757 times
Reputation: 68371
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
I think that everyone prety much covered all of the reasons...

1) afraid to be alone
2) insecure
3) low self esteem and lack of self worth
4) low standards
5) need a man to feel validated
6) drama-filled lives
7) perpetual cycle of using sex to buy love

I have a friend from college who brags about always having a man. However, she has had a steady series of men who have taken advantage of her financially.

She co-signed on a $35k BMW for one guy who stopped making payments after the first year and then totaled the car (and did not have proper insurance coverage). She still had to pay off the car loan for a totaled car. She became engaged to another guy who she was in a long distance relationship with and added him as an authorized user to ALL of her credit accounts. That guy proceeded to open additional accounts in her name and would fly into town to see her every other weekend...using her credit cards. And showered her with expensive gifts...that he paid for with her credit cards. They were planning and spent tons of money on a lavish destination wedding and that he cancelled behind her back. She didn't find out that he had cancelled some of the wedding vendors and pocketed the deposit money until she called one of the vendors by chance. She quit her job and moved across country to be with another guy who broke up with her two weeks later. And on and on...but she still always has a man.
Your friend sounds like she's either a) too trusting, b) not very bright, c) a glutton for punishment, d) not very discerning when it comes to guys, or all of the above. I hope she finally learns from these experiences.
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Old 03-08-2013, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
31,385 posts, read 18,420,530 times
Reputation: 12142
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatsby1925 View Post
I've had a couple female friends of mine seemingly take pride when they tell me that "they never stay single for long," ?
Fishing for compliments can be one of the reasons
Codependency can be another.
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Old 03-08-2013, 01:54 PM
 
12,544 posts, read 11,913,170 times
Reputation: 28849
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatsby1925 View Post
I've had a couple female friends of mine seemingly take pride when they tell me that "they never stay single for long," and in the case of one woman has never gone more than a month of being single since High School. By this, I don't mean that they stay with the same guy for years and years, but rather that they bounce from relationship to relationship with little time in between. I can't understand why this is something that some women take pride in. Are they trying to present themselves as so attractive that they can get a man whenever they want? Because to me, it's a HUGE turnoff. From my perspective, a woman like that is someone who always NEEDS to have a guy, and is emits a huge aura of insecurity. I want a woman who would be just as fine without me as she would be with me, because a secure woman who is confident is extremely hot.

Besides, not surprisingly, these ladies always seem to have the most drama-filled breakups. Either they complain nonstop about the latest ex, or they will engage in extreme passive aggressive mode via facebook statuses. Not cool.

Anybody else highly turned off by women (or men) who don't stay single for long?
Not turned off as much as wary, because I'd fell like they were more in love with love than in love with me.

That said, I don't know what you mean by "little time in between." What's "little time?" A few weeks? Three months? Six months?
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Old 03-08-2013, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Ohio
17,986 posts, read 13,233,625 times
Reputation: 13765
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gatsby1925 View Post
I've had a couple female friends of mine seemingly take pride when they tell me that "they never stay single for long," and in the case of one woman has never gone more than a month of being single since High School. By this, I don't mean that they stay with the same guy for years and years, but rather that they bounce from relationship to relationship with little time in between. I can't understand why this is something that some women take pride in. Are they trying to present themselves as so attractive that they can get a man whenever they want? Because to me, it's a HUGE turnoff. From my perspective, a woman like that is someone who always NEEDS to have a guy, and is emits a huge aura of insecurity. I want a woman who would be just as fine without me as she would be with me, because a secure woman who is confident is extremely hot.

Besides, not surprisingly, these ladies always seem to have the most drama-filled breakups. Either they complain nonstop about the latest ex, or they will engage in extreme passive aggressive mode via facebook statuses. Not cool.

Anybody else highly turned off by women (or men) who don't stay single for long?
Those are called "relationship-jumpers."

Those women (and men) who do that are broken and inherently defective. When you meet one, run as fast as you freaking can and don't ever stop running, unless you really enjoy grief and misery.

I always asked, "How long has it been since your last serious relationship?" If I didn't hear her say "6 months" (or more) than we start talking about the weather while I look for the exit to bolt for the door.

The best women are strong emotionally mature independent women who want to be interdependent (as opposed to dependent or co-dependent). Just thinking about a woman like that gives me a fatty.

The worst women are emotionally weak and immature, totally dependent ---- or even worse...co-dependent. Prepare for hours and hours of misery fraught with grief and to be drug down to the lowest levels of your life (which will probably be curb level or lower).

Advising...

Mircea
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Old 03-08-2013, 02:33 PM
 
Location: in your dreams
10,892 posts, read 13,008,285 times
Reputation: 15317
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
I don't know what you mean by "little time in between." What's "little time?" A few weeks? Three months? Six months?
Good question. lol
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Old 03-08-2013, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 25,784,820 times
Reputation: 16226
Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding View Post
I am single now for the first time in 25 years! Have been for a year. It's very strange. Anyways, I don't wish to be single. I don't have to be, I do actually have someone who wants to be with me. But I'm just really lazy about the whole thing. I think there is a stigma attached to women in our society that are single. I guess I don't care that much or I'd get together with this guy who I'm pretty sure wants me to be his girlfriend. I was one of those girls, you OP, speak of in your post. A lot of overlapping going on, usually just by circumstance, though, not my "master plan" or anything. Having a man is nothing to brag about.
I've only been in one relationship, and have been single for a little over 3 years now. It seems that the question 'how long have you been single' tends to come up pretty quickly either in conversation or on the first date and when I say how long, I get a very weird look and it seems almost uncomfortable. Women aren't SUPPOSED to be single considering they're the ones who are pursued... if they're single, they're not pursued and if they're not pursued they're not attractive/desirable therefore there's obviously something wrong with them.

Now that I've thought about it, maybe I shouldn't tell the guys the truth about my singledome and just say a few months or something.
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