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I both agree and disagree with this. Yes, the desire to be attractive to the opposite sex is a valid motivation for getting in shape (or getting a better job, improving your presentation, and so on,) but I find that the BEST motivation comes from wanting to improve for yourself. I didn't get into shape JUST because I wanted to attract women; I was sick of being fat and being clumsy and just being generally unhealthy, so I made it a goal to get in shape, and I did and am continuing to improve.
Yes but see now you are making this thread about YOU. The OP wants to know whether SHE should lose weight in order to find love. If it is a proper motivator for her, then yes she should. ANY motivator is legit, arguing with someone that they are doing things for the wrong reason is sowing the seeds of failure.
Yes but see now you are making this thread about YOU. The OP wants to know whether SHE should lose weight in order to find love. If it is a proper motivator for her, then yes she should. ANY motivator is legit, arguing with someone that they are doing things for the wrong reason is sowing the seeds of failure.
I definitely agree with you on this point. Who is anyone to tell the OP that her motive for losing weight isn't a good one. The only point that I will stress to the OP is that there are plenty of girls who are not overweight who still struggle to get a good date or a meaningful relationship off the ground. This is why I said earlier that weight loss is not a magical formula. It is, however, a worthy goal for the OP to pursue in the interest of self improvement and enriching certain aspects of her life, to include her prospects for dating.
Men will ignore you for the size four borderline psycho chick, who is an unemployed drunken ****.
This may be true but the unemployed psycho chick will get dumped very quickly because eventually the man will not want to put up with her. I feel sorry for these types of women because, although they have little trouble attracting a man, they are doomed to get dumped and have their heart broken over and over.
To the OP, YES, losing weight will definitely help you attract a man. It may be vain but there is no doubt that a woman, or man for that matter, that is physically fit will find it much much easier to attract a mate then their heavy counterpart.
The world of dating is superficial. That is the harsh reality. It does not matter if you are a great person, smart, witty, well educated, and financially secure and size 18. Men will ignore you for the size four borderline psycho chick, who is an unemployed drunken ****.
I have seen it happen over and over, and I just shake my head with disbelief.
That is the way it is. Men are vain, visual creatures. They want a sexy babe on their arms, and have other men envy them.
Yes. If you lose weight, you will have more dates.
So what you are saying is that when you see a man of interest, you judge the woman on his arm and search for her flaws. When you find her flaws, you shake your head with disbelief. You have seen it happen over and over again because judging women who have what you want is something you do on a regular basis. The time you spend doing this would be better spent smiling at men who are available - no one is attracted to a sourpuss.
I think the type of man that she is going for has a big part to do with it. It kinda amuses me when I read profiles on dating sites that state that yes, they are a heavy woman but they want an athletic/muscular man. Er, so you want someone who is in shape yet you yourself don't stay in shape?
Anyway, yes, in the grand scheme of things, losing weight will probably make you more attractive to men, but doing that works in two ways. First, you become more physically attractive, and second, you getting in shape will increase your confidence which will also make you much more attractive. I am a guy who is heavily into fitness, and being formerly overweight, I can understand how tough dating can be, but I have to be honest and say that as someone who is into fitness, I too want a partner who is physically fit. I have a preference towards muscular women or women who powerlift, but I would love any woman who did some kind of activity to stay fit, whether that be lifting, running, tennis, soccer, rugby, basketball, cycling, whatever. I had a heavier woman ask me out, and it was the first time I ever had to reject someone. It was hard, but I just wasn't physically attracted to her, and I think going out on pity dates with her would have been more destructive for her than just being honest and rejecting her.
But in the grand scheme of things, don't lose weight because you want to attract men. Lose weight because you want to be healthy, carry yourself with confidence and be in shape. If you attempt to do it for men, you will more than likely fail, but if you do it for you, you'll find a greater chance at staying motivated and succeeding.
Actually, I need to lose about 40 lbs, and I've found that I attract mainly very physically fit men. I wear the weight well, and that might have something to do it (I'm mainly boobs and butt), but just because someone is athletic and fit doesn't mean they're looking for a similarly lean and muscular body type. My best friend is slender and loves to do athletic things - but she tends to go for guys who are pretty roly poly.
So what you are saying is that when you see a man of interest, you judge the woman on his arm and search for her flaws. When you find her flaws, you shake your head with disbelief. You have seen it happen over and over again because judging women who have what you want is something you do on a regular basis. The time you spend doing this would be better spent smiling at men who are available - no one is attracted to a sourpuss.
I am not a "sourpuss", nor do I judge others. The truth is the truth. See the world for what it is. Nothing wrong with acknowledging the shallowness of men and dating in general. http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailym...big_sexy_s.php
It is what it is....if you are in good shape, more men will be attracted to you.
Last edited by jasper12; 03-10-2013 at 06:06 PM..
Reason: edit
It is what it is....if you are in good shape, more men will be attracted to you.
Well of course more men prefer fit women above overweight or obese women like the one in your link. Women feel the same way, they don't want obese men either.
Look again, of course you are judging:
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
The world of dating is superficial. That is the harsh reality. It does not matter if you are a great person, smart, witty, well educated, and financially secure and size 18. Men will ignore you for the size four borderline psycho chick, who is an unemployed drunken ****.
I have seen it happen over and over, and I just shake my head with disbelief.
That is the way it is. Men are vain, visual creatures. They want a sexy babe on their arms, and have other men envy them.
Yes. If you lose weight, you will have more dates.
You have only come to the conclusion that the size four girl is borderline psycho because you are watching her and passing judgment.
Well of course more men prefer fit women above overweight or obese women like the one in your link. Women feel the same way, they don't want obese men either.
Look again, of course you are judging:
You have only come to the conclusion that the size four girl is borderline psycho because you are watching her and passing judgment.
No. Just that I have a very good friend who's life is a complete disaster. She has a smoking hot body. And men are constantly after her. She was recently in jail, for check fraud, and has not been able to hold down a job for longer than two months in the 45 years I have known her. She gets drunk, crashes cars, lost her kids to her ex, uses men...and men will meet us both at the same time, dismiss me, and ask for her number. Has happened more times than I can count.
I admit, I am not in the greatest shape. But I am attractive, go to yoga, work out, but she is lithe, and sexy.
Why are you arguing so much? It is what it is. Why am I friends with someone who is a user, and has mental problems? Because I have known her, and for all of her issues, she has been there for me, many times.
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