Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
First off, no coffee dates. Women love those for a reason. Easy way to reject a guy. Suggest something like a drink date and make a date/time. Force her to reject you, don't ever give her an out.
oooo I like that approach Capitol. I sent my "final" message to her already though.
I didnt suggest any place because she didnt want to be around a certain "crowd" and widely used liquid substances(drinking) so thats why I gave her the choice, I wanted her to be comfortable and for her to be familiar with whatever place she chose.
I know the coffee thing is really lame, but at the same time its easy, and I love coffee. It was more or less supposed to be a hangout and seeing if theres potential.
oooo I like that approach Capitol. I sent my "final" message to her already though.
I didnt suggest any place because she didnt want to be around a certain "crowd" and widely used liquid substances(drinking) so thats why I gave her the choice, I wanted her to be comfortable and for her to be familiar with whatever place she chose.
I know the coffee thing is really lame, but at the same time its easy, and I love coffee. It was more or less supposed to be a hangout and seeing if theres potential.
You are doing it wrong. Don't give her any choice. Be the man, and take control. Women love men in control. She doesn't want to think, she wants the man to do that. Make a date and tell her the time to be there. By giving her a choice, you are making her flaky.
Coffee is terrible because you can't escalate. No one ever got laid on a coffee date. Go to a bar, its much easier to get laid from her if you gave her a few drinks and a fun time.
Lol I know coffee is a terrible idea, she doesnt drink and doesnt want to be around it in bars. Its a lost cause I guess..
I was just being optimistic, Im on a dating site but im mainly just looking for someone to hang out with and do non sexual activities with....
Of course im open to the intimate encounters but im not going to present that publicly in my dating profile and thats not my motive for having a profile....
I don't get why you are turned off by her response. She most likely was waiting for you to suggest another day? I don't see her reply as a rejection.
By the way my husband is a Capricorn too so what exactly do you mean by that?
That's where I'm stuck. What exactly was the problem with her reply? She had to work.
Can people not manage to carry on a conversation anymore? You said something, she replied. Then it was back to you to say something else instead of overanalyzing how she replied and deeming it unacceptable because she replied with one sentence to your 2-3. Good heavens.
I was aiming for somewhere around 12 noon to meet, she says she likes coffee so thats where I was at, like a quick lunch/coffee thing. Im willing to meet anytime regardless if I work or not.
She could have said, oh i have work tomorrow and i wont want to do anything after, im free saturday though.
but instead she just shut it down by saying she had work, nothing more....
which is where I get to thinking, flee or fight...
If I "fight" its completely unnecessary and then im a crazy person so this is not an option. The only thing I could do is back off.
Im just boggled at why you dont give simple details that I dont need to think of in order to get across.
Just an observation. Telling someone you can meet, is different than specifically suggesting a time, a place and asking a direct question. Perhaps next time you just be specific, an they can be more specific. Regarding this lady she didn't sound like she was ready to meet. Back when I was doing match sites I liked to email an then perhaps move to calling for quite a few times prior to eve discussing meeting in person. Give it some time, and more clarity, it may help. Like almost any situation in life, you get out of it what you put into it.
Last edited by JanND; 03-12-2013 at 09:49 PM..
Reason: edit text
You are doing it wrong. Don't give her any choice. Be the man, and take control. Women love men in control. She doesn't want to think, she wants the man to do that. Make a date and tell her the time to be there. By giving her a choice, you are making her flaky.
Coffee is terrible because you can't escalate. No one ever got laid on a coffee date. Go to a bar, its much easier to get laid from her if you gave her a few drinks and a fun time.
I guess it depends on the woman, because I've had a few guys do the 'take charge and tell her what to do' approach and it turned me off completely and I didn't really want to meet them anymore.
In fact, I just received a message from a guy I've been talking to for a few days and he asked if I wanted to meet for coffee. I told him my schedule (I have a set schedule) but he ignored it and demanded we meet at a certain time and place, to which I replied I couldn't because I was working. He then simply sent 'whatever, whenever you make time'.
So, this may work with some women, and not with others.
I guess it depends on the woman, because I've had a few guys do the 'take charge and tell her what to do' approach and it turned me off completely and I didn't really want to meet them anymore.
This is exactly what I was thinking about. Is it not a good idea that I let the woman take control in the whole online dating/messaging thing... I figure women get a lot more messages than guys do, I dont want to be thrown into that pool of toolbag people for them to filter through.
Guy sends message, maybe its misunderstood, maybe not... woman reviews guys profile and decides not to respond or hes not good enough. You give her the power to decline and in most cases they do.
Guy receives message from random woman, tells me shes interested in not only my picture, but what my profile says as well. Here I think she is giving me the power and I am good enough for her.....This is why I was confused at the whole thing.
So I did change my attitude and sent one or two messages out there, we'll see what happens...
Ok so Im on a dating site and Ive been noticing this a bit.
Why do women reply with the worst, general, vague responses.
one particular woman who sent me a message first. We were discussing meeting up, I told her if the weather was bad I wouldnt have work and I would have free time to meet up where ever she wanted.
It was a good 2-3 sentence message.
the response: I have work tomorrow :/
Ok so you have to work, do you not want to make plans for after work or what, are you backing out, scared? what gives?
I could really careless but its just the fact that your on a dating site, you message me first, explain how youve lost hope in it, and then when it comes to meeting someone straight up, you cant explain or even put an effort in to make something happen..
Are there women out there who seek virtual attention on date sites and have no real means to meet anyone?
I honestly do not understand what your complaint is?
Ok, she sent you a message first, are we keeping tabs?
You stated what you stated and she replied, “I have work tomorrow :/
The face icon? Should have been an indicator that this was no good for her…
Why did she have to elaborate? Because YOU chose to write a more lengthy response?
IMHO? You may have missed out, by taking her message as indifference..
Maybe she was answering your message when she got home from work, was tired and decided you deserved a reply since she was interested in you obviously…!
A little truth? From the female perspective?
I work long hours, I have a teenage son, blah blah…
To me? Dating web sites are for professionals to meet virtually with the hopes of meeting up..
I log on maybe 2x a week at most…I am very busy…
I WOULD RATHER BE on here at times than dealing with all the could be’s that are in general perverts…
So I will log on lets say tonight for 15 minutes, sift through my mail, see who catches my eye, if they seem normal, if they have common interests and so forth…
I will reply with an answer to their query and log off…
I had one “normal” non perverted (yet) guy send me n email stating
“How are you? The last time I heard from you was 2 weeks ago, are you with somebody else?”
“I am asking you this because I barely see you on?”
This email did deserve a response..I stated that I work very long hours during the week and do not ever agree to weekday dates period..
I.e.
Yeterday? I worked from 7:15-6-45pm.
All I could think about yesterday? Was picking up my son from my mom’s, grabbing dinner, making sure his clothes were washed, getting him to bed early since he had testing the next day ( today) and being able to get up early enough to make him breakfast and dropping him off at my moms so she could drop him off at school..
I posed a serious ? His way…
I ASKED HIM “WOULD YOU RATHER LOG ON EVERYDAY AT ANYTIME to see me online? Meaning I had nothing to do ALL DAY LONG OTHER THAN LOOK FOR GUYS TO PROVIDE FOR ME? AND MY 4 KIDS? BECAUSE I HAD NO EDUCATION AND NO JOB?
You know what his reply was “Well when you put it that way, lol.”
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
