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Old 03-14-2013, 02:49 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,567,369 times
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Yes, I would be offended. I think you said in another thread that you don't get along with overly suspicious or paranoid people. That's been my experience too.

That said, if I said or did something to warrant suspicion (read: overtly flaked on them or was caught in a lie) and I was being obtuse about it to them, then I think a checkup on me would be warranted.

But, then again, it's unlikely that I would even give my last name to someone I've never met anyway. I generally dislike online dating and prefer meeting people in person anyway.
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Old 03-14-2013, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
38,967 posts, read 27,347,154 times
Reputation: 15909
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Yes, I would be offended. I think you said in another thread that you don't get along with overly suspicious or paranoid people. That's been my experience too.

That said, if I said or did something to warrant suspicion (read: overtly flaked on them or was caught in a lie) and I was being obtuse about it to them, then I think a checkup on me would be warranted.

But, then again, it's unlikely that I would even give my last name to someone I've never met anyway. I generally dislike online dating and prefer meeting people in person anyway.
I have a guyfriend who told everybody on dating site, "I am just a computer guy doing IT work for a company." The purpose is to hide his income level.
One of the women did a background check on him and found out where he lives, his company. She showed up at his work!!!!!!
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Old 03-14-2013, 03:01 PM
 
17,869 posts, read 20,935,963 times
Reputation: 13948
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
I have a guyfriend who told everybody on dating site, "I am just a computer guy doing IT work for a company." The purpose is to hide his income level.
One of the women did a background check on him and found out where he lives, his company. She showed up at his work!!!!!!
Now that's one scary *****!
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Old 03-14-2013, 03:03 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,776,171 times
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Well... if it was a secret background check then I wouldn't know, so I wouldn't be offended.

Actually, I don't care really. I've had background checks done on me before (for work mainly... but I think they did something in addition to my credit check on my mortgage loan. They practically asked for everything but a DNA sample). My results are pretty boring from what I've heard. Nothing I really want to keep private comes up in them either. I can see where others might be offended though. Personally, I wouldn't waste my money on them--I get a better feel from someone from actually talking to them and reading body language. Besides, what's to stop a dishonest person from just giving you a false name? It's not like a background check is fool-proof.
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Old 03-14-2013, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
38,967 posts, read 27,347,154 times
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Originally Posted by prince_frog View Post
now that's one scary *****!
i know!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-14-2013, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
38,967 posts, read 27,347,154 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
Well... if it was a secret background check then I wouldn't know, so I wouldn't be offended.

Actually, I don't care really. I've had background checks done on me before (for work mainly... but I think they did something in addition to my credit check on my mortgage loan. They practically asked for everything but a DNA sample). My results are pretty boring from what I've heard. Nothing I really want to keep private comes up in them either. I can see where others might be offended though. Personally, I wouldn't waste my money on them--I get a better feel from someone from actually talking to them and reading body language. Besides, what's to stop a dishonest person from just giving you a false name? It's not like a background check is fool-proof.
I definitely understand where you are coming from.
But according to my experiences. PEOPLE ON DATING SITES WHO run background check definitely have stalker potential. They perhaps are also overly suspicious, paranoid, etc.

NOT ALL, but some.

Google somebody is fine, background check, kind of creepy for my taste.
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Old 03-14-2013, 03:13 PM
 
17,869 posts, read 20,935,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
i know!!!!!!!!
I've seen that happen before. I worked with a guy who told me he met a woman who had 2 kids at a bar and he took her home and had a ONS, and she wouldn't leave him alone and constantly texted him. Next thing you know, she shows up at our job and started talking to him! Freaked him out!
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Old 03-14-2013, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
38,967 posts, read 27,347,154 times
Reputation: 15909
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
Well... if it was a secret background check then I wouldn't know, so I wouldn't be offended.

Actually, I don't care really. I've had background checks done on me before (for work mainly... but I think they did something in addition to my credit check on my mortgage loan. They practically asked for everything but a DNA sample). My results are pretty boring from what I've heard. Nothing I really want to keep private comes up in them either. I can see where others might be offended though. Personally, I wouldn't waste my money on them--I get a better feel from someone from actually talking to them and reading body language. Besides, what's to stop a dishonest person from just giving you a false name? It's not like a background check is fool-proof.
Also, when you think about it. Many people online don't want to give out addresses. A background check gives out exactly that, your address.

I paid $19.99 and did a background check on myself just to find out what information is out there. I found out they list my current address, the five addresses I lived in the past seven years.

I had a guy I met online sent me flowers to my address, when asked how did he find where I live, he said, "I just know, I am a psychic." It is scary to say the least.
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Old 03-14-2013, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
38,967 posts, read 27,347,154 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog View Post
I've seen that happen before. I worked with a guy who told me he met a woman who had 2 kids at a bar and he took her home and had a ONS, and she wouldn't leave him alone and constantly texted him. Next thing you know, she shows up at our job and started talking to him! Freaked him out!
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Old 03-14-2013, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 18,490,496 times
Reputation: 4071
There would be no reason to be upset because there is no way for you to find out short of the person telling you they did it. Sure, they could let some clues out, but it would only cause you to wonder.

I have mixed feelings about it, especially after a friend of ours dated an ex-con sociopath, who basically stole from her, lied to her, blamed her for all of his problems and changed his name to avoid child support, to name a few. Unfortunately, she knew some of this going in, not from a background check, and still pursued the relationship.

If I was single and dating online, I wouldn't do a background check. However, I wouldn't hold it against a female to do it to protect herself from the above.
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