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Location: The back alleys of Hong Kong and sometimes Brussels, Belgium
242 posts, read 267,429 times
Reputation: 195
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Women? Men? We all been through the pain of life, had some hard times dealing with the opposite sexes. As for me. I've come to the day where I gave up. I'm a giver, overall nice person. Never been one to plot and plan on how to not end up lonely at the end of the night as some people I know do this. I've been cheated on, lied too so many times that I haven't had the ability to give anymore effort anymore. Anyone (Women/Men) feel what I feel?
Where are you (Women) so I can date you and see if you stand out from the rest like I do?
After years of trying to get dates and finding a woman with NO success, (one broken heart early on followed by a string of really bad dates, and choices of women to date), I decided I was meant to be alone and a loner, and gave up.
Ironically, not long after that is when the woman who is now my wife unexpectedly entered into my life.
I'm not a quitter. In fact I'm obnoxiously persistent. Idk that I've given up on anything. Esp not dating. People take it too seriously and make it too much of a priority IMO. Sucks all the fun out of it. I take men and relationships with a grain of salt. You win some you lose some. You move on.
I’m getting there – 27, never had a girlfriend, always got friendzoned or rejected one way or the other – have tried to redeem any shortcomings I may have, but to no real avail. It’s a pretty painful, depressing situation
I am on the cusp of giving up. I think maybe I am just not attractive to men in a romantic sense. I am not saying I am ugly or anything, it's just that men seem to like me but things always seem to fall short of a romantic relationship--so I have a whole slew of "guy friends." It's been the story of my life... cliche guy walks up to me in bar but next thing I know I have another "buddy."
I figure it's something I am doing (or not doing) or it's something fundamental about my personality. I would work on it if I could just figure out what it is... but since I can't, there isn't much to do. I did, however, find an interesting article about "20 reasons you don't have a boyfriend." It's pretty interesting and might give some insight (if not to me, maybe to others). http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2009/0...e-a-boyfriend/
All in all, I am pretty happy with life and myself--life is good! I get a little lonely now and then and I really do want a man in my life. But I am also learning to live with the fact that it might not happen.
Last edited by jillabean; 03-20-2013 at 08:49 AM..
After years of trying to get dates and finding a woman with NO success, (one broken heart early on followed by a string of really bad dates, and choices of women to date), I decided I was meant to be alone and a loner, and gave up.
Ironically, not long after that is when the woman who is now my wife unexpectedly entered into my life.
If what you are doing now is not working... do something else. Something else may also include not actively trying to find a mate too. There is nothing wrong with that... and stepping back for a while may prove to be beneficial in the long run.
The one thing there isn't any shortge of in the U.S. is hook-up material. If a guy can't find a girl (or vice versa) the thing that is holding them back isn't their face, or their body, its between their ears. The fault is 100% yours if, by adulthood, you have not had any kind of success with the opposite (or same) sex. And, that's cool, leaves more for the rest of us. Just own the dysfunction, instead of always holding oneself up as being such a great person, i.e. putting the blame on others. Who knows, become strong enough to take a good, hard, look at yourself and how others might see you... idk... maybe your luck could change? You know you want it to...
The one thing there isn't any shortge of in the U.S. is hook-up material. If a guy can't find a girl (or vice versa) the thing that is holding them back isn't their face, or their body, its between their ears. The fault is 100% yours if, by adulthood, you have not had any kind of success with the opposite (or same) sex. And, that's cool, leaves more for the rest of us. Just own the dysfunction, instead of always holding oneself up as being such a great person, i.e. putting the blame on others. Who knows, become strong enough to take a good, hard, look at yourself and how others might see you... idk... maybe your luck could change? You know you want it to...
H
I agree with you there... but I am not interested in a hook-up. I am interested in a relationship. If I want to find a man to have sex with, that's easy. But that's not what I am looking for.
I also admitted that I think it's something I am (or am not) doing. I think a lot of others would benefit from looking at themselves too (just like you said). For me, I just need to get a handle on it--I am not blaming everyone else as it's pretty easy to see the common factor in my failed attempts is me. But at the same time, I don't want to drive myself crazy looking for someone until I do get a handle on it. I could just be rusty too. My last relationship was my marriage (which lasted 10 years and ended 3 years ago). I didn't even start trying again until a year ago (wanted to work though the emotional baggage first). I've been on dates, but haven't really "met" anyone since I started looking again.
PK12, don't get down about it. I would be willing to bet half the people on this board (and half the people in life) think you lucked out !!
Just remember that life has peaks and valleys. One of these days, you will be on top of the mountain looking down.
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